Hamilton Oneshots

Expecting (Tharia)

Requested by potassium_boron

Trigger Warning: Death?

Maria sighed as she finished her book, rubbing her eyes as the sunrise came through the window and wing blew the velvet curtains. Had she really been up all night? She hadn't meant to but this book was too amazing to put down for even a moment. Oh well, she stretched and got up, going to the bedroom and pulling her dress off as she could hear the bed sheets move.

Thomas sat up, her husband, he looked at her and she smiled, pulling a slightly tanned light red nightgown out. Thomas watched her pull her sleep clothes on behind tiredly asking, "You didn't sleep?" He yawned to punctuate his sentence before he forced himself up to get dressed.

Maria shook her head, kicking her shoes off, "I didn't." She fell into the bed and watched him through the corner of her eye with her face deep into a pillow.

"Maria..." Thomas turned her over so she was looking up at him. He pecked her lips gently behind putting a hand on her now protruding stomach, "You've got more than one life to stay healthy for now you know?" He told her with a grin, reminding her she was pregnant as if she could forget.

"I know," Maria whined and looked up at him, "I'm going to bed now. Go do your smart politics stuff. See you in a few hours." She kissed him gently and he nodded in agreement before leaving her to sleep in their large bed.

Maria sighed, Thomas was so thoughtful, far more thoughtful than her ex-husband who would've just told her to get over her tiredness, blamed it on her, and made her do something. She was glad she had found Thomas, she really was, and their wedding was one of the happiest days of her life. Her most happy day had to apologetically be the day the doctor investigating her prolonged sickness informed her she was just expecting her first child with Thomas.

She slept for a while, something she rarely did. She wasn't the best at getting a healthy amount of sleep as she was often called a night owl simply because she didn't always sleep as there were so many things one can only do when awake. However, Thomas often reminded her she can't do anything if she winds up sick from a lack of sleep and he was right but the thought often escaped Maria.

Sun flashed across her eyes and she blinked them open, groaning and rubbing her eyes. She felt a sharp pain in her stomach and groaned again thinking it was her unborn child moving again, it hurt each time and it always felt like they were pulling on all of Maria's internal organs.

It took just a moment for her to realize what it actually was making her throw the duvet off and sit up in fear only to realize her fear was rightfully placed, "O-Oh God." She stared at the blood, oh God the blood. She didn't know if he was here or if he was at work but she just started screaming for Thomas, screaming harder than she had before as she started to break inside. Her husband bolted in faster than he had ever moved in his life and she stared at him with tears in her eyes, "I-I'm sorry oh G-God Thomas help." She put her hands over her face and burst into tears.

Thomas took in the scene and internalized his sadness and panic for Maria, he had to be the strong one right now. He crossed the room and climbed next to her, pulling her sideways to his chest, "It's okay. It'll be okay. I promise. I love you." He kissed the side of her head and looked over it so she wouldn't see he was trying not to break down right there. Maria nodded slowly and he patted her back, "I'm gonna go get a doctor, okay? I just-I want to make sure you're healthy."

Maria nodded and watched him almost sprint from the room. She balled up and held her stomach, "I'm sorry." She mumbled to her now dead unborn child, "I'm so sorry. I-I didn't keep you safe. God, I'm so sorry-I-I'm so sorry. Your mommy is the worst. She doesn't get happiness, this is her fault and I'm so sorry. The angels are nice, okay? They're nice." She kept crying as she spoke, she didn't know who she was comforting. Herself? The miscarried baby? Who? She didn't know but she wanted them to not feel scared, the future was scary but the present is so unsure of itself that there was nothing to do but be a ball on the bed.

Thomas reentered with a doctor Maria identified as the man who diagnosed her with this cursed pregnancy. Just three more months and she would have had a child but she had failed in every regard of a parent. She couldn't protect her baby, she couldn't comfort her baby, she couldn't support her baby, and she couldn't hug her baby. No parent could be worse than her in this moment.

The doctor checked Maria out and she stared at the ceiling, not looking at him in any way and ignoring everything. She knew Thomas was holding her hand and that made her slightly less on edge, she had Thomas's support so he still loved her at the very least and that was some form of glee in this sea of wanting to disappear into nothingness.

The doctor left after informing them of what they already knew, they were no longer expecting a child. Thomas picked her up bridal style and she just stared at him blankly and he sighed, "I'm having Sally come change the sheets and we're-we're going to go to the garden." He sniffed and finally a stray tear left her eyes.

Maria reached up and brushed the tear away as Sally Hemmings ran by them to their bedroom with clean sheets. She kept her eyes on Thomas and whispered, "I'm so sorry. God if you had married anybody else you might have a baby." She mumbled and Thomas shook his head rapidly.

He got to the garden and they sat on a bench before he turned to her and took her hand, ignoring the blood on her gown as they hadn't changed her. He kissed the back of her hands and whispered, "If I had married anybody besides you I wouldn't be happiest in the slightest. I love you, Mrs Jefferson, and I will be with you through sickness and health." He kissed her before she could protest and she begrudgingly let him, kissing back even.

She knew it hurt right now, it hurt so much right now, but she wasn't the only one going through this. She had Thomas, she had him right here, he loved her and he was in her arms and still married to her, still wanted to be married to her. She could do this.