Hamilton Oneshots

Befriending Satan (Pharia)

Trigger Warning: Suicidal Ideation and Anxiety

Maria sat down and opened the old, dusty book she had found. She was alone, so alone, she'd been alone for so long she was upset with it. She wanted a friend for once but nobody liked her, it made her feel upset and she's even gotten to the point of realizing if she died nobody would care. So, as she didn't care about her life anymore she was going to make one more attempt to make a friend.

Maria turned to the page with the Satanic circle she needed and took a deep breath as she reminded herself that she couldn't turn back after she did this. She took her sewing needle out and bit her lip, wincing as she poked it into her thumb while a small bead of blood appeared.

Shakily Maria ran her bleeding thumb over the circle before lighting the four black candles around the book. She took another breath to reassure herself and then she began the chant on the paper, "Oh hear the Infernal Names of: Abaddon, Kali, Sekhmet, and Dagon Drink from your chalice. Turn clockwise, pointing your athame, cane, or sword at each quarter and call forth the Princes of Hell: Satan from the north, Lucifer from the West, Belial from the South, and Leviathan from the East." She sat back and tried to ignore the empty feeling in her stomach from the nervousness she was feeling.

Suddenly wind seemed to pick up and she had to close her eyes, her clothing fluttered about and her hair went crazy as she remembered she had to keep chanting the ritual, "AR-O-GO-GO-RU-ABRAO - Thou spiritual Sun! Satan, Thou Eye, Thou Lust! Cry aloud! Cry aloud! Whirl the Wheel, O my Father, O Satan, O Sun! SOTOU - Thou, the Saviour! MUDORIO - Silence! Give me thy Secret! PhALARThAO - Give me suck, Thou Phallus, Thou Sun! OOO - Satan, thou Eye, thou Lust! Satan, thou Eye, thou Lust! Satan, thou Eye, thou Lust! AEPE - Thou self-caused, self-determined, exalted, Most High!" She started to hear growling and she shook from fear but she knew there was no going back now and if whatever she was doing did kill her; so be it.

"Deliver me O Mighty Satan from all past error and delusion, fill me with truth, wisdom and understanding, keep me strong in my faith and service, that I may abide always in Thee with Praise, Honor and Glory be given Thee forever and ever!" She was thrown to the ground but physical pain was something she was used to and so, with her eyes still sealed closed, she got back up and ignored the throbbing on her arm.

"Call me and I am here," A voice said and so Maria slowly opened her eyes and looked at the man before her. A black demon which had her recoil in fear, he looked like he was straight from a horror movie! Though...he was Satan. The demon cocked his head, "Am I frightening? Allow me to become more appealing to your human expectations." The demon was surrounded by black air that made Maria's eyes close from the fast wind. When it ended she was staring at a very different being, a man who looked like he was of Puerto Rican descent with freckles and curly black hair, "Call me Philip. Why have you summoned me?"

Maria fought the lump in her throat before stuttering, "I-I just wanted-ed a-a-a fr-friend." She told him, shaking harder as her pupils became smaller. She knew she sounded pathetic but she didn't care, "I just-I just don't have any and I-I was going t-to-to kill myself but I um I just-just decided to try and make-make a friend this way." She told him. Sure, while summoning him her voice was sure, but now that she was with somebody her social anxiety was kicking in. In truth, Maria wasn't afraid of the fact that she had summoned a demon...she was afraid of having to talk to another person.

Philip regarded her before bursting into laughter. She lightened up slightly, laughter always made her feel more at ease, and she smiled as he laughed before giggling, "Alright." Philip said and sat beside her, "Alright, I'll be your friend." He pulled her closer and she blinked in surprise, "Whenever I'm summoned it's always somebody who got a second-rate spell from some bargain brand witch and they try to control me or it's teenagers at a sleepover. Never to be friendly. I've always wanted a friend."

Maria smiled and relaxed as he held her against him, "I've always wanted a friend too." She said and then looked up at Philip while raising an eyebrow, "Aren't you supposed to punish sinners and burn them and stuff?" She asked.

Philip looked at her with a quirked eyebrow, "Why would I burn you for your sins? Think about this stupid fucking logic for a second. If I'm supposed to be the most evil, insidious, horrible beasts ever created then why the fuck would I punish people for following in my footsteps? Would God punish people for doing good? No. So why the fuck would I punish you for being bad?"

Maria hummed slowly before nodding, "Yeah that makes sense." She said and then looked shyly at him and mumbled, "Can I...hug you?" She didn't want to push it so she asked first but Philip just pulled her into a hug and she smiled, "Thanks for being my friend."

"Why're you thanking me?" Philip chuckled, "I should be thanking you. I've never had a friend, nobody's ever even prayed for me. I, the biggest sinner, was never prayed for while people pray for the sick fuck, Donald Trump. Yes, I know I said earlier I don't punish the wicked, but even I have standards." Maria giggled and nodded as she understood, "But nobody has ever wanted Satan to be their friend. Not a single person. Nobody except you. As long as this universe has existed, so have I, and you're the first person who wanted to be my friend." He kissed the top of her head and she blushed.

"You're welcome..."