Hamilton Oneshots

You Love Him, Don't You? (Lams)

John looked down as he sat on the bus on the way to the building he, Alex, Laf, and Hercules were going to go to in order to get their suits on for Alex's wedding to Elizabeth Schuyler. It would be a pleasant bus ride if the man next to him hadn't sat too close and kept peering over his shoulder to see his texts periodically so he texted the man he loved, Alexander. How ironic.

Turtle Man: Guy on bus is sitting way too close

Turtle Man: My personal space is invaded hardcore

Probably Writing: Can you move?

Turtle Man: No he's on the aisle seat

Turtle Man: He keeps reading over my shoulder

Probably Writing: Delete my messages okay?

Probably Writing: and I'm going to send you a message

John figured Alex had a plan for something to get the eavesdropper to go away so he listened and went into the settings of his conversation with Alex and deleted their previous conversations.

Probably Writing: He will arrive home at 6:00. His car is a black 2006 Mazda 2. His girlfriend won't be home until around 8:00. We have two hours to work with.

Probably Writing: The back door has a bad lock, if you jiggle it right it will pop right open.

Probably Writing: We can hide in the lounge and wait for him to sit on the couch.

Probably Writing: You can do the honour with the baseball bat.

Probably Writing: We can choose between a serrated knife or a butchers knife.

Probably Writing: Then go to work.

John read through all of Alex's messages and smirked, he knew Alex loved writing and stories but he didn't think he'd go to this extend just to get a creep away from him. In his heart, he felt his love for Alex grow which was problematic. But, he needed to continue the story to keep up this act so he shrugged his feelings off for now.

Turtle Man: What's the soundproofing like?

Probably Writing: So long as we knock him out with the first hit, we should be fine.

Turtle Man: I've got the raincoats in the boot of my car, it should be enough to stop our clothes staining.

Probably Writing: If not I've got some antiseptic just in case.

Turtle Man: I have a supply of cling wrap so we can protect the carpet and leave no trace. I also have a dissecting kit if necessary.

Turtle Man: Once he is dealt with, we can go up the stairs and crack the safe.

Probably Writing: How are we going to do disposal? I know we were tossing up between the acid and landfill.

Turtle Man: it's hidden under the bed in the spare bedroom.

The man next to him who had been reading all of their texts with a look of absolute horror suddenly got up and left, almost running down the bus aisle to sit as far away from John as possible. He sometimes glanced back at John who was struggling not to burst out laughing.

Turtle Man: He just fucking moved seats the look on his face

Probably Writing: jfc

Probably Writing: I'm sitting here cackling

Turtle Man: I'm trying not to die here laughing

Probably Writing: Tears streaming down my face

Turtle Man: His face oh my god

Turtle Man: We should clarify here in case the government is reading this that I had a creepy guy next to me on the bus reading my texts k thanks lmao

Probably Writing: yeah hey there government people my name is Alexander and I play video games and I don't like gore so we have nothing to worry about I wouldn't hurt a fly

Probably Writing: Unless that fly is a mosquito

Probably Writing: In which case that's a whole other story

Probably Writing: Also bees I'm not sure if I'm allergic so I will run

Turtle Man: sometimes I get scared of my own reflection in the bathroom

Turtle Man: I'm a wuss ok don't arrest me

Turtle Man: Sir

Probably Writing: I check my room every night for monsters and sleep with my teddy

Probably Writing: I'm 23 years old

Probably Writing: mister/ma'am

Turtle Man: I say goodnight to the plush toys in my bedroom every night and tuck my wheat bag in which is shaped like a turtle

Probably Writing: I sleep with a night light

Probably Writing: When I sleep

Turtle Man: sometimes I get sad bc I'm convinced my teddies feel rejected when I don't sleep with them because I think they have feelings

Probably Writing: my teddy is alive and we have deep and meaningful conversations about what he did that day and what movie we should watch together that night

Probably Writing: his name id Brown Bear Barney and he's my closest friends

Probably Writing: John and I met in New York and we had a fart contest after knowing each other for less than 24 hours and we've been best friends since

Probably Writing: I'm getting married today

Probably Writing: Please don't arrest me mister/ma'am

John looked up to see he was at his stop and hurried off, going to the building. The moment he set eyes on Alexander they both burst into laughter over and laughed so hard tears left their eyes as everybody looked at them as if they were crazy.

"I love you man!" Alex laughed and John shook his head and closed his eyes, letting himself cry small tears from his hysterical laughter. Alex patted his back and they slowly calmed down, "Fuck that was great."

"What is going on?" Laf asked and looked between Alex and John slowly, "John comes in 'ere and you both fucking die. What did I miss?" He asked, he never liked being excluded from inside jokes.

John handed his phone over to Laf and he scrolled through their texts with Hercules as Alex helped John into his suit for the wedding, he was Alex's Best Man naturally. John tried to look anywhere but Alex when his face was almost touching him as Alex tied his tie. Alex patted his chest and beamed up at him, "Done!" John pushed his blush down.

"Thanks, Lexi," He said and grinned at him. The rest of the evening leading up to the wedding was spent eating slowly and laughing at inside jokes. John kept leaning into Alex but would tease him constantly to look as if he was exhibiting brotherly love.

But he wasn't.

The wedding went off without a hitch but during the reception, something happened that he didn't expect. As John drank beer from his mug Laf sat next to him, taking a shot before saying, "You think you got everybody fooled, don't'cha?" He asked and John looked at him, "Well not me honey. I've known you too long and no matter how hard you try to deny it I can tell you care as much about him as he cares about you." John realized instantly what he was saying and looked away with tears in his eyes, mumbling something that resembled a shut up, "You won't admit that you love him and I know that you do. That little persistent kid has somehow gotten under the wire and that's what's happened, huh?" John glanced at him with his tears, he didn't want to face it. If he ignored it he didn't have to admit that he didn't have a chance with Alexander anymore. He didn't. Everything he ever wanted had just slipped through his fingers, "Admit the truth. You love him, don't you?" Laf asked and glanced at Alexander who had Eliza in his arms in a spin.

John looked down, "I do."