Slytherin Royalty (Draco Malfoy)

xvi) The Diary

It has been two days since the events. Draco hasn't regained consciousness yet. I have barely left Draco's bedside. The few times I have, Narcissa had stayed in my place. I only trust her anymore.

Lucius has not asked after Draco or come to see him. He wanted this to happen to Draco. I don't know how I have managed to not kill him yet.

I have received a few letters from my friends and Sirius and Remus. I even received one from Harry. He apologised a lot for not telling me but I just took it and threw it in the fireplace.

I had fallen asleep on the chair I am sitting on and am woken by a gentle shaking on my shoulder. I open my eyes to see it's Narcissa.

"You should go and lie down." She whispers to me.

But I shake my head. "No." I am whispering also but my voice is firm. "I am staying." I can only guess how I look with my untidy hair and dark circles under my eyes. I have only taken the occasional showers because Narcissa had made me.

"It wasn't your fault." She tells me sitting down beside me. "You said it yourself. He already knew what he was getting himself into."

I have cried so much by now that there are no tears left to fall. "How is it not?" I ask her. The question I had held back till now. "How can all this not be my fault? I am the one who was so immersed in making Draco believe that I don't care for him anymore that I forgot what I had to do to keep him safe."

Narcissa places her hands on my shoulders. "If you have to blame anyone, blame your brother. He didn't tell you even when you told him everything. Stop blaming yourself."

I look at Draco, still unconscious but looking peaceful. Everything had taken a toll on both of us and it has become visible on our faces now. "How can I hope to protect anyone when I can't even protect Draco?" I ask.

"When it comes to everyone, Draco will help you. That is how you will protect them." Narcissa answers. "And if you ask there are others who will help too. But when it comes to Draco, no one can help you. Not even me."

I sigh and bury my face in Narcissa's chest. She strokes my hair gently. "I consider you the daughter I had wanted but never had."

I smile up at her, nodding my head as thank you. She turns around to walk out of the room again. "Narcissa." I stop her. "Stop caring about what Lucius will think and you will be the mother Draco has always wanted."

Narcissa looks back at me once before walking out of the door. I sigh. I have no idea what I will do next or even now. I have been blaming myself for what happened. I wasn't able to get the information, so how is this not my fault?

I shift in the chair to get comfortable but feel something in my pocket. I take it out to see that it is what fell out of Draco's suit pocket when we were getting him up here.

I need something to distract me and maybe this can help me. I open the first page to see Draco's signature in his best writing. I smile a little tracing the letters.

I flip the page to see what is written in it. Immediately I realise that it is a diary. His diary. The very first entry is on the day we met.

His happiness to have met me and his excitement to see me again the next day, has been written in the first one. It brings a small smile to my lips. A genuine smile which has been missing for sometime now.