Warning: This is an AU fan fiction. First person perspective. Appearance of mob characters may occur occasionally.
A sequel to "A Little Bit Of You, A Little Bit Of Me".
Unhealthy contents. Filled with only the bad stuffs. An R-18 series.
Please proceed with caution.
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Everyone in the room panicked when they heard me speak up. Soraru-san slammed his hand on his armrest, causing me to flinch and the patriarchs to sit back down.
"I oppose," Soraru-san said coldly without looking at me.
"If Soraru-san and the patriarchs were the only people they can recognise, and if everyone insists that we do this, I would be your best option," I reasoned.
"He's not wrong," Luz-kun decided to be the one to speak up as one of the patriarchs.
Soraru-san turned to glare at him, but I could see that Luz-kun wasn't going to back down either. I supposed he knew better than anyone else how bad the current situation is since he was involved with the mafia. Nothing good ever happens when you work for the mafia after all.
"Why don't we give Mafu-kun a chance, Soraru-san?" Tomohisa-kun asked. "This might actually work,"
After seeing Luz-kun and Tomohisa-kun speak up, the rest followed.
"We'll be able to get the information we need," said 96neko.
"I believe Mafu-kun could do this and come back safely," Eve-kun added.
"I agree," Rib-san said, supporting Eve-kun's statement. "If anything goes wrong, I can always head over for backup,"
I looked over at Soraru-san worriedly. He clearly wasn't happy to hear me volunteering into this whole mess that his clan was involved in, and this was probably the angriest I had ever seen him ever since I came home with him.
Soraru-san rubbed his temple in a frustrated manner with his eyes closed, brows furrowed together as he was also annoyed at the fact that his patriarchs were supportive of my idea.
"I want all of you out of here," Soraru-san said.
The patriarchs looked at each other for a while before they nodded and slowly left one after another, leaving Soraru-san and me in the room.
"Kashitarou, you stay," said Soraru-san when Kashitarou-san was about to leave the room as well.
Kashitarou-san stopped briefly and turned around to walk back to Soraru-san's side. He gave me a worried look, and mouthed a "It's not too late to back away now," at me, in hopes that I would listen to his advice. But I only looked back at him, firm and determined about my answer and I hoped he could respect me for it as well. He sighed and shook his head.
Soraru-san, who was still rubbing his temple with his thumb, didn't lift his head to look at me or Kashitarou-san at all. Kashitarou-san looked at me again, telling me quietly that Soraru-san was probably too mad to even say anything at the moment. He didn't need to tell me because I could see that. It was pretty obvious.
But this was the first time he got mad at me. He never got mad at me when I was being too gentle towards his subordinates, he never got mad at me even when I tried to protect them from him when he was giving them scoldings, he never got mad at me even though I was nothing but selfish.
Not this time though.
"Soraru-sa-" I started by calling out his name.
"Mafumafu," but Soraru-san cut me off, his tone was colder than ever, a tone he had never, ever used on me before. "Do you have any idea what you were talking about?"
Kashitarou-san was looking really nervous, probably because this was also the first time he saw Soraru-san get mad at me. I was nervous too, but he was my Soraru-san, I should know him better than anyone else. I wasn't going to let his aura as the head of a yakuza family put pressure on me.
"I was saying I'll go in everyone's stead," I repeated what I just said earlier during the meeting, before everyone else left. "If it's information we're lacking, I can-"
"I'm not letting you do this, Mafumafu," Soraru-san cut me off again, not allowing me to explain myself further.
"Soraru-san, I used to work for the pleasure quarters, gathering information was my forte," I explained anyway. I could see Kashitarou-san break a sweat over there as he listened to our conversation, and I certainly did feel bad for him. It must be terrifying to see someone go against Soraru-san.
"I don't have to remind you that you don't belong there anymore, right, Mafumafu?"
"But I could easily get people to spill if I went in in disguise as one of them-"
"Kashitarou, on second thought, could you leave as well?" Soraru-san broke me off and put up a hand at Kashitarou-san. He was visibly frustrated, and I could feel knives stabbing into my chest as I thought about how I was the reason why he was like this. "I thought I could have you convince Mafumafu about not going, but it seems I'll have to do it myself,"
Kashitarou-san nodded, and retreated out of the room as he was told. Before he closed the door shut, he gave me a warning look, telling me once again to back off from this whole deal, and then he was gone, leaving just me and Soraru-san in the meeting room.
"Soraru-san-"
Soraru-san stood up and walked towards me. I backed away on reflex, until my back touches the wall, he placed both of his hands on either side of my body, trapping me in his arms as he stared into my eyes, capturing me with his gaze.
"... Soraru-san-" I called out again, but he surprised me with a kiss.
My eyes widened with surprise. I wasn't expecting that at all because it didn't seem like the right timing.
"Soraru-sa-" I said, and he kissed me again.
Each time I tried calling his name, he would peck me on the lips so I wouldn't be able to continue my sentence. In the end he caught me in a deep kiss, and I could feel his anger from his kiss. This was bad, he was making my hips lose strength and I grabbed onto his sleeves, wanting him to stop, afraid of falling. But he broke the kiss just in time before I actually fell onto my feet.
"Are you not going to listen to the head of the clan's order to not partake in this?" Soraru-san asked, his eyes were hardened, his voice was still as cold as it was just now.
"If it's something that could help you, I'll do anything to help," I said as I kept my ground.
Soraru-san lowered his head and sighed heavily with a hint of annoyance in it. I wasn't able to see his facial expression at all so I couldn't quite predict what he was thinking then, but when he lifted his head up to look at me again, the colour in his eyes had softened, his brows drooped down worriedly. His expression was softer than before, but he was still serious about making me back off from this whole mess.
"... Is it because I pamper you a little too much?" he said sadly.
"That's not it...!" I said, denying that statement with all my might. I couldn't bear the pain when he sounded so upset that I was not listening to him.
"Then would you listen to me as your lover?" Soraru-san asked softly.
I flinched when he touched my cheek with his fingers before he carefully cupped them in both of his hands as he took a step forward, making me look up at him, closing the distance between us. He stroked my cheeks in a loving manner with his thumbs, and then he kissed me right in between my brows, and lingered there for a bit before he pulled away.
"You're too precious to me, Mafumafu," Soraru-san said as he looked into my eyes. "... I just can't imagine what would become of me if something were to happen to you,"
I drew my brows together as I tried my best to keep my tears in, not able to believe what I just heard Soraru-san say to me. In all these years I had been together with Soraru-san, no matter how hard and tough the situation was, he had never been like this, worried and faint-hearted, so unsure of himself because of me.
I shook my head in his hands, and he tried to keep my head still, not wanting me to deny his orders neither as the head of the clan nor as lovers. I placed my hands over his, and held it as tightly as I could.
"Soraru-san has done so much for Mafumafu," I said.
"I wanted you to be happy," Soraru-san leaned in to kiss me on the forehead again, and this time, I couldn't keep the tears in anymore.
Tears spilled out of my eyes and rolled down my cheek when I covered my eyes to savour the warmth in Soraru-san's kiss.
"And I still am, Soraru-san," I assured him. "It's just time I do something for you too,"
"Mafumafu-"
"Every part of me," I squeezed his hands tightly. "Belongs to you, Soraru-san,"
He remained silent as he bit onto his lower lip.
"This is an assurance..." I paused and took a shaky breath, and continued. "... From me to you, and I will never go back against it,"
Soraru-san leaned in and pressed his forehead against mine, pushing my hair back and tugging it behind my ear in the process. I blinked a couple of times as I tried to read his emotions from his eyes, and I saw sadness, worry, anxiousness but there was a speck of relief in them.
I wondered if he felt better after hearing what I just told him.
"... You'll have to go back to the pleasure quarters," he whispered.
"It wouldn't take long," I whispered back.
"You'll be touched by men other than me..." Soraru-san trailed off and went quiet.
And I hated the fact that I couldn't do anything but kiss him lightly on the lips as an apology because there was really nothing I could do about that. He closed his eyes, his brows were drawn together again. When he opened his eyes again, it was filled with fury and jealousy.
"Did you imagine it in your head?" I asked.
"I hated it," he nodded.
"... Information comes in easier that way, Soraru-san," it was my turn to reach up to cup his face.
"... I know,"
"Soraru-san," I caressed his cheeks gently. "You brought me home, showered me with the love I've always craved, gave me a place to belong, and I've managed to make a lot of friends too,"
Soraru-san pinched my cheeks lightly and pulled.
"I could say the same to you," he sighed. "Everything is different with you around here. This place has been a lot more like an actual home since you came home with me,"
I moved my hands away, and circled my arms around Soraru-san instead. He pinched the bridge of my nose gently and in a playful manner before he did the same, resting his hands just right above my hips. Our foreheads were still stuck to each other, and I felt safe and at peace when we're like this.
"Every time I come home, it's not just the guys greeting me anymore. I'd open the door and see you rushing over just so you could welcome me home. If I didn't see you at the main entrance, I'll go into the kitchen to see you too focused on cooking for me, to the extent you didn't even notice I was there," Soraru-san said quietly.
"That's because I wanted to make sure I was doing it right,"
"You didn't get to do much cooking at the pleasure quarters before this after all," he let a soft smile spread across his face.
"Soraru-san still ate the ones I burnt even though you knew fully well it was already inedible," I frowned as I remembered one of the times when I first started cooking Soraru-san's dinner. Yamato-san was panicking so much, I really thought he would have passed out back then if Manato-san and Hayato-san didn't come in to bring him back to his senses.
"You'd always be thinking about me when you do something," Soraru-san pressed his lips against mine, and I opened it just ever so slightly so that he could suck onto my tongue. He let go, and sighed. "And I really love it when you do that,"
I could feel myself blush. I was pretty sure I was bad at hiding the fact that I was doing my best for Soraru-san, but I wished he didn't have to say it aloud. It was even more embarrassing than I thought it was.
"But I won't be able to see you like that for some time," if it were someone else listening to him say this, they wouldn't think too much of what Soraru-san said. But because it was me, I could hear his loneliness behind those words.
Because I've spent most of my time together with him, more than anyone else.
"I won't take too long," I took a step forward, and buried my face into his chest. I could feel his arms, holding me strongly and tightly, as if he was afraid I would leave and never come back.
"I don't want to put you into danger, Mafumafu. Do you not understand me...?" he said, sounding a little pained.
"And I don't want Soraru-san to be in danger either, so it's better if I go, Soraru-san," I replied, still not backing down from my decisions, no matter how guilty I felt to be making Soraru-san feel like this.
Soraru-san's arms around me got tighter as he exerted more strength in them. My heart squeezed a lot as I felt how heavy his feelings were for me, and I hugged him back as tightly as I could, to return his feelings, to let him know that I was also feeling the same.
-
After what happened in the meeting room, Soraru-san refused to talk to me. He was giving me the cold shoulders, and if I said I wasn't feeling upset, that would absolutely be a lie.
I still had a few more days at home for me to get prepared to head to one of the pleasure quarters in the district to disguise as one of the courtesans there, but instead of spending time together with me, Soraru-san constantly occupies himself with work. I knew it was selfish of me to even think about it this way, but I couldn't help it.
Even I myself didn't like the thought of being touched by people other than Soraru-san.
And yet, every time he had something he wanted to say, he would either send Kashitarou-san or Nqrse-kun to me to relay the message. He wouldn't even sleep with me in our bedroom.
"Nqrse-kun, do you know where Soraru-san is?" I asked after Nqrse-kun passed me a message from Soraru-san, telling me that he was not going to have dinner with me but would like to have it at the meeting room with his patriarchs.
We were at the kitchen, where I was preparing food for the others, and of course, for Soraru-san as well. Nqrse-kun sat down with his legs to his chest by the door into the kitchen, and I gave him a bowl of soup to warm himself up as it was still in the middle of winter.
It was already the third day after the decision was made, and Soraru-san was still like this.
"Soraru-aniki? He's probably at the garden," Nqrse-kun sipped onto his soup carefully, not wanting to burn himself.
"... I see," I simply said.
"You're not gonna go to him, Mafu-kun?" Nqrse-kun stopped with what he was doing, put his bowl down on his knees and looked over at me. He asked me with such a calm voice, I thought I wasn't talking to the Nqrse-kun I knew.
My hand stopped in midair, right above the chopping board when I was about to slice the carrots when he asked me that. I placed the knife down and turned around so that I could face him and lean against the countertop for a bit before I took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly after.
"I'm not sure what I should do, Nqrse-kun," I said.
"Well, what do you think you want to do?" he asked.
"... I want to be with him," I didn't think of Nqrse-kun as someone I could talk to about my problems. But the Nqrse-kun right now seemed more reliable than usual.
"Then you should just go see him, shouldn't you?" Nqrse-kun continued sipping onto his soup.
"I don't think Soraru-san wants to see me now," I turned back to chopping carrots.
"You shouldn't decide that for yourself, Mafu-kun," Nqrse-kun let out a satisfied breath after he finished his soup, and thanked me for the food before he sprang up on his feet to walk towards the washing basin.
"He could have just come tell me himself that he doesn't want to have dinner with me if he really wanted to see me," I said as I moved to one of the pots that was filled with boiling water over the stove and put the carrots in to boil. Then I whispered to myself, in hopes that Nqrse-kun didn't pick this up: "... He used to do that all the time before this,"
"This might actually be your first fight,"
First fight?
"Soraru-aniki has always tried to let you have things your way if it was within his capabilities, but now that it has come to the point where you're out to do some reckless things, he can't take it," Nqrse-kun blabbered about his thoughts as he washed the bowl he was using. "So he gets mad, and Mafu-kun gets mad, and the both of you just can't be honest about how you're feeling right now,"
Nqrse-kun placed the clean bowl onto the dish racks to let it dry before he turned around to grin at me like how he usually does.
"I guess it's a good development between the two of you!" he exclaimed before he ran out of the kitchen. But then he came back by poking his head into the kitchen and said, "Cheer up, Mafu-kun!"
And then he was gone. I could hear him purposely singing at the wrong notes and tune to annoy the people he was passing by as he left.
... Our first fight.
Come to think of it, we had never been through something like this before. We do argue a bit sometimes, but it was mostly about Soraru-san's body and safety, definitely not to the extent he would give me the cold shoulders.
I honestly thought he already gave in when we last had that conversation in the meeting room that day, but his actions and behaviour told me otherwise. To be frank, I was already at my limits. I felt terrible the entire time Soraru-san wasn't here with me even when he was under the same roof as I.
The feeling was different compared to when Soraru-san was out for work. It was like he was here with me, but he wasn't. So close, yet so far.
I never experienced not being by Soraru-san's side during the times he was home, and things were starting to get really lonely at this point. I stopped with what I was doing, and felt tears well up in my eyes. I sniffled a little and rubbed my nose with the back of my hands.
"Relax, Mafumafu. It must be because of the onions," I thought to myself and took a deep breath.
This was all for Soraru-san's sake. I couldn't back down from this.
I was about to leave the kitchen, and ran into Hayato-san.
"Mafumafu-san, what's wrong?" he asked out of concern.
"... It- It's nothing," I quickly wiped my cheeks with my hands, and let out a short breath. "Do you think you can help with dinner tonight? I'm not feeling well all of a sudden,"
"L-Leave it to me, Mafumafu-san. You should just rest if you're feeling sick. I'll ask Yamato and Manato to come help,"
I nodded with gratitude and walked out of the kitchen but after some time, I remembered that I would need to pass by the garden to go to my room.
... What should I do? I paced around the corridor for a bit, trying to think if there was anywhere else I could go to that could give me some privacy. Amatsuki-kun's room? No, no, no, Kashitarou-san would go over to him, and he'd question why I was there and probably would tell Soraru-san about it too.
Then where else could I go?
I bit onto my lower lip, a habit of mine when I get upset and frustrated. Soraru-san would be mad if he saw me do this. Ah, I was thinking about Soraru-san again.
Not good.
... I want to see him.
I picked up my foot and made the first step forward, not wanting to wait any longer. It was as Nqrse-kun said, I should just do whatever I wanted to do. If I wanted to see Soraru-san, then I should. Why torture myself so much when he was just right around the corner?
But when I made my way down the corridor to the garden, he wasn't there anymore. I didn't know if I should feel disappointed or relieved, but I guessed it was both after I gave it a little thought. I thought maybe we could talk it out again if he was here, but that seemed to have to wait.
"Mafu-kun, what are you doing over here?"
I jumped a little when someone spoke up to me because I didn't expect anyone to be here when Soraru-san wasn't.
"... Kashitarou-san,"
"Were you looking for Soraru-san?"
"How did you know that?" I lowered my head, not wanting him to see the obvious disappointment on my face.
"It's just a hunch," Kashitarou-san shrugged and smiled gently at me. "It's been a while since I saw you two together after all. It's a really strange feeling for all of us,"
"Is it really that weird to see us not together, Kashitarou-san?"
"Well, since the day you've been here, he has always been stuck to you whenever he's home, don't you think?"
Ah, Kashitarou-san was saying the exact same thing I was thinking about. I guessed it was true that this fight between us was out of everyone's expectations.
"Cheer up, Mafu-kun," Kashitarou-san said. "Soraru-san's just throwing a tantrum. He usually doesn't do that, so it's kind of refreshing,"
"You think so?" I let out a sigh, realising how tired I sounded. Maybe I really was feeling unwell since just now.
"Mmhmm," Kashitarou-san nodded and then he seemed to remember something. "Aren't you supposed to be in the kitchen though, Mafu-kun?"
"Oh, I felt a little sick, so I left it to Hayato-san," I explained. "I'm sorry. I know all of you were looking forward to having braised meat with miso, but I hope you don't mind,"
Kashitarou-san shook his head and thanked me for the effort I put in cooking, saying that it must have been tough to cook for so many people. I smiled weakly and told him that it was my pleasure.
"I'll go back to my room to rest up for a bit. I forgot to tell Hayato-san that I wouldn't be needing dinner, could you please tell him that for me?"
"Of course," said Kashitarou-san.
After that, I managed to make it to my room without running into anyone and having to explain everything all over again to them. The moment I got inside, I walked towards the bed, and fell onto it and took in a big whiff.
... As I thought, Soraru-san's scent had become fainter since he hadn't been in here with me for days. Something must be wrong with me after all. There were times when Soraru-san would be away for a month or so, and yet I wouldn't be like this at all. It must be all because of the fight we were having.
I grabbed Soraru-san's pillow and hugged it to myself, pretending that it was Soraru-san since it had the strongest scent to it. I must be exhausted from the overwhelming emotion of loneliness. I closed my eyes, and eventually fell asleep.
I didn't know how long I passed out, but I was woken up by someone petting me and a kiss on the top of my head. I struggled to open my eyes, and I saw Soraru-san. Was it an illusion? Was it because I had been missing him so much that I was mistaking this silhouette as him?
I let go of Soraru-san's pillow and reached out for him. He came closer, covering my body with his as he snaked his arms around me. I closed my eyes and breathed in, it was a familiar scent, one that I missed dearly. I hugged him tighter in my arms and felt warmth in my eyes before I started sobbing like a child.
"... Mafumafu,"
"Soraru-san, Soraru-san, Soraru-san..." I kept calling his name as he placed a hand at the back of my head, and pressed me down against his shoulder to let me cry on it.
He kissed me on the back of my ear, gave it a little suck to leave a hickey on me. I grabbed onto his yukata and pulled him closer, and he did. I pushed myself away from him a little and leaned in, closer to his face before I planted a kiss at the corner of his lips. He then turned the tides by giving me the kiss that I had been craving for during these few days.
He would break the kiss for a short while to let me breathe, but I would lean in for more. When he knew I was finally out of breath, he stopped and hugged me again. I rubbed my nose and sniffled a bit before I felt my body and mind relax due to his presence.
"Soraru-san... I don't like this," I muttered in his arms.
"What do you not like?" he dropped another kiss on my head.
"I don't like it when you're cold to me, and that you're not here with me. I don't like fights," I rubbed my head into his shoulder.
"I don't like it either, but I had a feeling I would do something bad if I kept you by my side," he said.
"... Soraru-san wouldn't hurt me," I shook my head.
"Well, I did," he tilted my face up by the chin and kissed me gently on the lips. "Otherwise you wouldn't be crying like this,"
"That-... That's not true,"
"I had been thinking if I should just lock you in your room and keep you safe or if I should just do you every day until you can't get down from our bed," he continued. "If it means keeping you away from my mess,"
He looked at me solemnly, and I knew he wasn't joking when he would do the things he just said to me to make me change my mind.
"... I would find a way out of here if you locked me in, and I would still walk out of here even if you did me mercilessly," I said quietly.
"... We'll see,"
And that was what he did. He didn't let me rest or stopped to let me catch my breath. We would do it over and over again, and if he sees that I would try to climb out of bed, he'd pull me back to him and the process repeats itself.
With my legs opened wide, he plunged himself deeply as I drowned in the pleasure he was inflicting on me. I would scream if he goes too fast and deep, and I would let out a groan if he treats me gently. It was embarrassing that my back would arch by itself, as if I was begging him to go deeper, begging for more, but I couldn't help it.
Three days felt like ages, longer than that one month he was away for work.
I panted like an animal in heat as he rammed back into me for the nth time tonight. I didn't think I could take another blow when he was himself pulling back, so my hips moved away on reflex. He caught them and pulled them back to him, causing my body to jerk strongly in reaction.
"You're not running away from me," he growled. That sentence could mean a lot of things in this situation.
I cried as I came again when an intense wave of goodness hit me the moment he started moving again. My insides would contract around him, and embarrassing or not, it made me happy that I could feel Soraru-san's shape inside of me. Soraru-san let out his breath slowly when I stared at him dreamily.
"... You're making me lose my composure, Mafumafu,"
He brought me up on his lap, and kissed me strongly as he continued thrusting. I moaned sensually when he hit me at my favourite spot, and my hips tried to move on its own, begging for more friction even though I had already been coming uncontrollably. He let out a grunt when he lifted his hips to hit me hard inside and I threw my head to the back and cried loudly as he continued doing that.
My back lost strength, and I fell back onto the bed. Soraru-san caught me and moved as he pleased. I closed my eyes and tried to keep myself sane, telling myself to breathe, and then I choked when Soraru-san got me too deep and let it out inside.
My chest rose and fell as I tried my hardest to breathe. Soraru-san grinded his tip against my prostate, and I flinched. I loved it when he did this, and he knew that too.
"... So, what's it going to be, Mafumafu?" he asked in a deep, sexy voice.
He leaned in to kiss me, and I returned it with the equal love he was giving me.
"... I'm still going," I said weakly in his arms.
He lifted my hips, and I knew the night was going to be long. But I didn't mind because I needed him as badly as he needed me.
TBC
A/N: I'm glad I was able to make it for this month's update. Happy Valentine's Day!