Warning: This is an AU fan fiction. First person perspective. Appearance of mob characters may happen occasionally.
Unhealthy content. Filled with only the bad stuffs. (It's probably too late to say this, but it's an R18 series)
Please proceed with caution
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The sun was almost up when my eyes fluttered open and I sat up on my bed to see that the curtains around my bed was opened, and Soraru-san was already awake. He was seated on a cushion with some food on the table. Soraru-san looked over when he saw that I woke up.
"Mafumafu, are you alright?" he asked.
I nodded before I decided to scoot over to the edge of the bed and moved my legs down, letting them hang as I sat on it.
"You're awake early," I commented as I rubbed my eyes sleepily, my voice a little groggy and hoarse.
He looked grim for a second, and before I could even look at him for a little while longer, Soraru-san already broke out of it and put down his chopsticks then reached one hand out at me. I stared at him, not knowing what was it that he wanted to do.
"Come here," said Soraru-san.
I bit my lower lip on reflex.
... How sly.
Ignoring how my chest squeezed a little from that, I got down from my bed and sat next to him. I then noticed that there was another set of food for me on the table and Soraru-san pushed it over to me before handing me a pair of chopsticks.
"You didn't have to..." I said before I took it from him.
"I'm going to have to eat anyway," he said after he put a piece of potato into his mouth. So he was saying that he might as well have them prepare my food since he was having some for himself. I was starting to learn a little bit about Soraru-san now.
There was potato and meat stew as the side dish for today's breakfast, and I clamped a piece of potato in between my chopsticks and exerted a little strength on it to split it into half before eating it. I ended up choking. The back of my throat hurt and I couldn't believe that I forgot about it. Soraru-san scooted closer to me so that he could help rub my back.
"Does it hurt?" he asked.
Assuming he was talking about the blow I gave him last night, I nodded because there was no use trying to lie to Soraru-san anyway. He stood up, and I caught the hem of his yukata on reflex because I thought he was about to leave. He smiled and gave my head a little rub, ruffling my already-messy hair, and walked towards the door to stop one of the attendants.
"Bring me a piece of warm towel," he said.
"Right away!" said the attendant before Soraru-san closed the door back up.
He came back to me, and sat down. I watched as he stared at me with guilt in his eyes. Soraru-san then cupped my right cheek, and let his thumb caress me gently. I leaned into his palm, and closed my eyes, loving and appreciate the warmth he was giving me. When I noticed that I was going overboard, I pulled away quickly.
"I'm fine, Soraru-san," I said, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear before I put in another bite of potato.
"You're not," he said as he poured both of us a cup of tea. "I could hear it from your voice,"
"... It's nothing, really," It was something I was used to after all. There were even days when I couldn't even talk for days after doing it for an abusive client. But Soraru-san didn't need to know that.
The attendant came back with a warm towel almost immediately after that. That was faster than I expected. They normally take some time to bring orders to my room since there were many others to serve too, especially when my room was at the furthest end of the hallway.
Was this because of Soraru-san's influence?
The attendant placed the warm towel on the table in front of me and left. Soraru-san waited for me to pick up the towel, and I let out a sigh before I picked it up and wrapped it around my throat.
"I'll have someone bring you something later," Soraru-san said after he finished his food.
"You don't need to-"
"Mafumafu," he glanced at me sternly as he stood up to retrieve his outer yukata.
"... I told you that you didn't need to be-"
"And I've told you that I'll be nice to anyone I want, Mafumafu," he cut in again. He then let out an annoyed sigh before he gave me another rub on the head. "It's just porridge, the one down the streets, have you tried it before?"
I shook my head, lowering my head as I tried to not look at him too much. This feeling of my chest tightening up was suffocating. I was not used to having clients that are thoughtful of me. Sure, there were a couple who cared, but in the end, I was just but a toy to them. But I was starting to be afraid of thinking that Soraru-san was different. The more I thought he was different than most people, the more I was losing myself to him.
"They make pretty good porridge there," Soraru-san said.
"They do?" I asked.
I never got to try the foods outside because they already have it here in the pleasure quarters. It was not like my clients never bought me anything, but Amatsuki-kun said to not eat them, just in case, because some might be drugged with aphrodisiac.
"That's right," Soraru-san nodded then added, "But I guess you don't have to eat it if you don't want to,"
If you put it like that, I would have to eat it, Soraru-san.
"I thought it was just a little something I could do for you since I went overboard last night," he smiled regretfully as he remembered what we did last night.
"I was the one who provoked you," I admitted.
"Yeah, but it felt great," he chuckled.
Oh, that was unfair. You can't do that, Soraru-san.
"Well, I'll have to go now," Soraru-san said as he fixed his yukata. "I'll have them bring you enough for you to share them with your friends here,"
"You're not coming over later?" I asked as I stood up on my feet, walking to him. His yukata was still not properly fixed, and it was adorable to discover how he was clumsier than he looked. I placed a hand on his chest, silently asking him for permission to help him with it. He moved his hands away, and I proceeded to folding his collar.
"... Do you want me to?" he asked as he helped me tuck my hair behind my ear again. I just realised he does this for me quite often.
But was he really going to tease me now?
"... Forget what I asked," I pulled harder on his collar, causing Soraru-san to stagger forward. I then pushed him lightly, and turned away. It was the first time I did something rude like this to a client, and not to mention, to the head of a yakuza clan. I wondered what has gotten to me lately.
I could hear Soraru-san chuckle at my reaction behind me, and I hated to give in, but I turned my head to sneak a peek at him.
"I'm not," he lifted his eyebrows when I would finally turn around to face him. "Did I answer your question this time?"
"... I see," I said and gasped almost instantly when I realised that I was sounding really disappointed.
"... If you're going to sound so depressed like that, you'll only give me a hard time, wouldn't you?" he smiled wryly at me. "I need to go back to the headquarters today so I can't come over,"
"... Okay," Oh right, he did mention that he just got back to town last night. So could I think that I was the first person he came to see? Oh, heavens, I could feel my face heat up again.
"... I'll try to stop by at midnight, alright?"
I looked up at him the moment he said that, and he went "pfft" before he cleared his throat and patted me on the head. I wondered what sort of face I was making to make him laugh like that but he was irresistibly adorable.
"You're really easy to read, Mafumafu," he said.
I didn't know what was I thinking before I did what I was going to do next, but I knew for a fact that I couldn't push all these overwhelming feelings back down to how it was. I closed my eyes and leaned in.
But he stopped me by putting his hand over my lips.
-
"Soraru-san's a really nice person, isn't he...?" Sou-kun let out an awed sigh as he slowly put in a spoonful of porridge into his mouth.
"He really is!" Amatsuki-kun agreed. Unlike Sou-kun, he was gobbling his food down really quickly.
"There's still more, Amatsuki-kun! Go slowly at it or you'll end up choking!" exclaimed Kashitarou-san, Soraru-san's right hand man, as he pulled at Amatsuki-kun's arm. He was the one who brought us the porridge Soraru-san promised me.
"How is Soraru-san even a yakuza? He's too nice to be one," continued Sou-kun, totally oblivious of what was happening to his right, and looked over at me. "He treats you so well too, Mafumafu-san!"
I flinched.
"Soraru-san's not who you think he is, Sou-kun!" said Kashitarou-san. "He's always really slow at things because he does things at his own pace, and he gets mad if you refuse to listen to him! He's also really hard to read. Oh, and awkward!"
"But Soraru-san's not all that bad," Sou-kun said. He was totally on Soraru-san's side. "Right, Mafumafu-san?"
"... Kashitarou-san's right," I took careful sips on the hot bowl of miso soup that the pleasure quarters provided. "Soraru-san's really not who you think he is,"
"But Soraru-san brought you porridge! And it's the first time Amatsuki-san said it's okay to eat food from a client!" Sou-kun insisted. He looked over at Amatsuki-kun. "That just means that it's okay to trust Soraru-san, right?"
"Soraru-san's a good man!" Amatsuki-kun said with a huge smile on his face as he took more porridge with a ladle.
"See? Amatsuki-san approves!" Sou-kun smiled toothily and then immediately looked worried when he moved his gaze on me. "Mafumafu-san spends a lot more time with Soraru-san, so I'm sure he isn't as bad as you think he is,"
I swallowed a gulp upon hearing that. I wanted to fight back with a "It's only the second night he's requested me, so that's not true!" but I didn't want to deny the fact that I knew bits and parts of him that these people didn't know of, so I did not say anything to that.
"Come to think of it, why are you so fixated on Soraru-san, Sou-kun?" Amatsuki-kun grinned, the one that spreads across his face when he got something nasty in mind. "Don't tell me...-"
"O-Of course not!" Sou-kun blushed.
I felt my entire body tense up when I heard Amatsuki-kun suggest that. Anyone could have guessed what was after that sentence. I saw Amatsuki-kun look my way very briefly but he quickly went back to teasing Sou-kun.
"Kashitarou-san, could you help me put the plates away?" he turned to Kashitarou-san after he was done playing with Sou-kun.
"Of course," Kashitarou-san smiled and stood up, slowly collecting the plates in his hands.
"Ah, I'll help too," Sou-kun said.
And then they both stepped out of the room, and there were only me and Amatsuki-kun.
"... Did something happen?" asked Amatsuki-kun. "You're not very much yourself today,"
"... No,"
"I see,"
The room was silent after that. Amatsuki-kun would usually force me to talk, but he was not doing that today for some reason.
I just thought that I might have done it.
When Soraru-san stopped me from kissing him with a hand over my lips, I froze. I never thought that I would be rejected by a client like this. A kiss was never initiated by me, and I was adamant on this policy I made for myself that I would never kiss clients, even if they asked. But I thought if it was Soraru-san, it was okay.
But it was not okay for Soraru-san.
"You can't kiss a person you don't hold next to your heart," he said before he left.
Was it because I was a courtesan after all? Was it because I was "dirty"? Was it because he didn't like me? Was that also because I wasn't worth it? So this was why he never tried to kiss me during sex even though everyone else loved to do that? Was it bad that I was overconfident?
I must have looked like a total idiot back then when I stared at him bewilderedly.
"Mafu-kun, you're making a really painful face,"
I looked up at Amatsuki-kun with tears welled up in my eyes. I quickly wiped it away, not allowing it to fall but it did anyway and I couldn't forgive myself for it. Amatsuki-kun came over and gave me a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and held onto him tightly as I buried my face into his shoulder.
"Did he do something to you?" Amatsuki-kun patted my back gently.
I shook my head in his shoulder.
Amatsuki-kun went quiet. He then gave me a little squeeze. He didn't urge me to say anything else, but I felt the need to explain myself to him because I didn't want him to misunderstand Soraru-san.
"... I did something, and he rejected me," I said, pausing mid-sentence to take a deep breath.
"He must have had a reason for that, right? The Soraru-san I know isn't someone who does that without a good reason," Amatsuki-kun rocked his body forward and backward as an attempt to comfort me.
I nodded, and nodded, and nodded again, wanting Amatsuki-kun to know that it wasn't Soraru-san's fault that I was acting like this. It was all because of me.
"Were you afraid that he might have hated you...?"
I nodded.
"Geez... Soraru-san's not going to hate you just because of something you did," Amatsuki-kun let out a sigh. "Does he look small-minded to you?"
I paused for a second, and shook my head slowly after some thinking.
"He wouldn't hate you because of it," Amatsuki-kun repeated.
"But he was mad, Amatsuki-kun," I pulled away, letting Amatsuki-kun go as I thanked him. He gave me one last pat and held my hands in his. "He was never mad, at least not in that way,"
"Look, I don't know what you did," Amatsuki-kun said and smiled at me. "But Soraru-san is different,"
Soraru-san is different.
It was precisely because he was different that I didn't know what I should do. It was because he was different that I ended up expecting something different from him.
"Mafu-kun, what do you want from Soraru-san?"
What exactly was it that I wanted from him?
"... I don't know," I said quietly.
"Take your time and think about it, Mafu-kun," said Amatsuki-kun before he stood up. "I'll go get you a bucket of water to clean yourself up,"
I was all alone in the room again when Amatsuki-kun left. I sat in place, still in daze.
... What do I want from you, Soraru-san...?
-
"Mafumafu-san, Soraru-san's here!"
It was passed midnight when Soraru-san came. I turned towards my door to see Sou-kun standing beside him. I turned away immediately, continuing with the sewing that I was doing last night. The truth was I just didn't feel good when I saw them standing together.
But because I did not agree to let Soraru-san come in, the both of them still stood at my door. When I turned back to look at them, Sou-kun was whispering into Soraru-san's ear. When Sou-kun saw me looking, he pulled away from Soraru-san, and Soraru-san finally glanced over at me.
Our eyes met.
"Thank you, Sou-kun," said Soraru-san when Sou-kun stepped out of my room, not breaking our eye contact. Before he closed the door back up, Sou-kun whispered something again, and Soraru-san lowered his body to hear him, causing him to look away from me.
I pouted and looked away, poking angrily at the cloth I was holding with a needle.
"Can I come in?" asked Soraru-san.
I didn't answer him.
"... Should I leave?"
I turned to glare at him.
He smiled. Darn it.
He walked towards where I sat at my table, and sat down in his usual seat. He watched me practise my sewing without saying anything, and it was making me strangely nervous but I wasn't going to give in so I tried my best to ignore him. He took out a book from his sleeve pocket after a while, and started reading next to me.
... So this was how it was going to be.
We stayed quiet for quite some time, long enough for me to sew one of the petals of a flower I was planning to do before he suddenly spoke up.
"Are you mad at what happened this morning?"
I flinched when he asked that, and hurt my finger with the needle. I drew in a sharp breath at the pain.
"Are you okay?" he leaned forward.
I nodded and pushed him away. It was not deep enough to pierce through my skin, so there was no blood. Thank heavens.
"... So you're mad after all,"
It was more like I didn't know how I should talk to him anymore. It was awkward for me after he rejected me, and now he was talking to me as if nothing happened. Of course I was upset. I bit my lower lip, and turned to Soraru-san.
I put down the cloth that I was working on, and crawled towards him. He snaked one arm around my waist when I climbed onto him, and I sat on his lap. Looking up at me, he blinked a couple of times, looking fairly confused.
"... Kisses are not allowed, right?" I said softly as I stared at his lips, admiring its shape and how full they looked. I let my fingers trace its shape before I slowly move my gaze up to his eyes. "Then it's fine if we had sex like how we always did, right?"
Soraru-san didn't say anything to the first question, but he seemed intrigued by the second one. I wrapped my arms around his neck, or at least I tried to. Before I locked my arms around him, he pulled at me, stopping me from holding onto him, and placed one hand under my bottom to lift me up. He forced me to have my back faced towards him.
... He was going to do it from behind again.
But I guessed it was for the best. I was used to this position anyway since clients often say that they might get turned off if they were reminded that I was a man like all of them.
"... Did you want to do it so much that you refuse to talk to me?" Soraru-san asked. His voice was strangely cold.
"... Isn't that why you came here in the first place?" I returned him with a question.
"So you wanted to kiss that badly?" Soraru-san asked as he pulled at my kimono, changing the subject and not answering my question. That was fair, since I haven't been answering to any of his tonight.
"Not really," I said, trying my best to sound disinterested and grinded Soraru-san's crotch with my bottom. I was good at pretending, but I wondered if I was doing it right in front of Soraru-san.
Soraru-san clicked his tongue at me. He was mad. I had done it again.
Before I knew it, Soraru-san finally pulled my kimono down, and spread my legs open wide. He reached out for some wax that was left near the table to help with lubrication, and used a ton, making his hands all wet and slippery. If only I knew what was going to happen to me next, I would have told him to stop.
But then again, who knew what would happen during it?
Keeping me still with one arm around me, he reached down my intimate area. He was being sneaky. He avoided touching my member, and went all the way down to the mouth of my bottom.
"... Ngh..." I made a noise when he pushed a middle finger in.
It was just the first joint of his finger at first. He moved it around the mouth of my entrance, as if preparing me so that he could go in deeper, which he did. He pushed in further, until my insides swallowed his entire finger.
The mouth of my entrance sucked onto the base of his finger, and twitched when he would tickle me on the inside. I choked when he scraped my prostate with his nails. I squirmed, kicked, and twisted but I got weaker and weaker every time he attacks me there, only breathing heavily on him as he did wicked wonders to me.
I could feel Soraru-san's hot breath on my shoulder when he breathed out slowly behind me, causing me to shudder excitedly over it. Come to think of it, it was probably the first time he was this close to me. My heart started pounding wildly, and I hoped he wouldn't overhear it. I pushed myself up so that I wasn't leaning on him because his body was too much for me to handle.
"... Where do you think you're going?" he asked with a low voice and pulled me back to himself.
Tears sprang out of my eyes when he put in another finger. He slid his ring finger in smoothly, and plunged strongly in and out of me almost immediately, causing me to lift my bottom up unconsciously. I placed my hands on his arms as a means to support myself as I cried when he did it so roughly like that. He slowed down his pace after a while, and asked:
"Do you think another one could fit?"
I couldn't answer him as I was panting after what just happened. He tried to put in another finger, and I pushed at his arms weakly. I shook my head, crying for no more.
"... It's not going to fit..." I tried to reason with him.
"Hmm...?" he hummed softly, sounding absolutely amused that I was finally answering to his question and pretended to not hear me because he had his forefinger at a threatening position.
"... Soraru-san- Nnn..." I leaned into him, rubbing my body against his, feeling all hot and bothered with his fingers still inside of me that were moving occasionally when I would least expect it. "I don't want this anymore..."
"Really?" he plunged in, causing me to let out a cry.
"Ngh... It won't fit- Ah!" he broke me off with another plunge inside.
"... But you're sucking onto me like this, Mafumafu," he moved in and out again, making my body convulse in his arms. I moaned when he would repeatedly hit me at my prostate, and he knew. Oh, he knew. "It can definitely fit another one,"
"It's not-" I stopped at my sentence when his forefinger came in, and I came. My insides squeezed tightly around his fingers. The walls sucked and let go of his fingers in a repeated, erotic manner, indicating that I was experiencing orgasm. He knew and yet he still moved inside of me. My body jerked forward strongly in reaction. I threw my head back, arching my body forward. The walls inside were constantly contracting, and I couldn't get away because my legs already felt like jelly since a while ago.
"... Cute," he said before I felt his lips on my shoulder.
I shivered as his lips trailed across my skin. He was doing it slowly, but he was definitely moving upwards to my neck as he nibbled playfully on me.
"Nothing came out from the front?" I could hear him smirk as he said that.
"... Meanie...!" I said in between my moans as he was still moving.
My erection wouldn't die down when I had not ejaculated. It was getting really painful, and I cried for Soraru-san to let me go. Without removing his fingers and knowing that I wouldn't be able to escape anymore, he wrapped his other hand around my erection, and pumped it in his hand, not forgetting to also move his fingers inside.
"... No! Soraru-san...-!" I cried. My mind was going crazy at how insanely good this all felt. My legs were numb from him attending to my erection, my bottom was lifting itself up again, and I could feel my hips moving so that his fingers would grind deeper inside of me.
He sped up with his hand around my erection and squeezed it tight when he knew I was about to ejaculate.
I slapped him weakly on the arms, begging for release. He then bit me on my neck. He was not planning to forgive me after what I did. I ended up crying louder when his fingers moved again.
"Kissing," he said lowly in my ear, sending tingles down my spine. "Did you want to do it so badly that you'd get mad at me?"
He was asking the same question from before, the one that I refused to answer no matter what. I shook my head weakly, trying to keep my saliva from drooling any more than it should and panting heavily when he spread his fingers inside. My insides would contract every time he does that, and I wanted him to stop or I was going to break at this rate.
"Mafumafu," he called out, wanting me to answer his question again.
I let out a pathetic hiccup before I shook my head. I refused to back down.
"... Liar," said Soraru-san quietly before he moved his fingers inside me and moved his hand on my erection again, giving it enough friction to make me come.
"Nn... Ngh...!" I covered my mouth with my hand, stopping my moans from coming out of it as I ejaculated into Soraru-san's hand. I felt my entire body lose all strength and leaned heavily into Soraru-san's chest.
He still had his fingers inside, moving slowly, in and out, just enough to make me shiver in pleasure. When he pulled them out, a wet, pop sound could be heard and I felt empty again. The mouth of my entrance was twitching as if it still wanted Soraru-san. He tickled me there, and I jerked in reaction again.
"... Soraru-san..." I called out weakly.
Soraru-san did not respond. Instead, he picked up a towel and wiped his hands with it before he carried me to my bed. I held onto his neck, refusing to let go even after he placed me down on the soft mattress beneath me. He didn't seem to have the intention to climb into bed with me though.
"... Soraru-san?" I crawled towards the edge of my bed. I hated myself for anticipating him to join me in bed.
"I'm leaving," said Soraru-san as he pulled at his yukata sleeves.
Leaving?
"Because Mafumafu's upset," he looked briefly at me when he said this.
"... You won't do it because of that?" I looked back at him, feeling really disappointed. After all, he came all this way to see me even though he said that he might not be able to come just now in the afternoon. "Even though you're already here?"
Soraru-san shook his head.
"... Then what if I said I wasn't upset anymore?"
He looked back at me.
"... Would you do it...?"
Soraru-san let out a heavy sigh. He turned his body and walked towards me. He then placed his hands on either side of my body before he leaned in when he stopped in front of me. I stared into his eyes, and he stared into mine.
"Mafumafu,"
I blinked once.
"You can't fall in love with me,"
I felt my eyes widen at that statement.
"... I'll leave for tonight after all," said Soraru-san. "I'll come again,"
I didn't say anything. I was too stunned by his previous statement. He gave me a small, wry smile, the one he makes whenever he was troubled by me. He patted me on the head, letting his fingers sink into my hair before he ruffles them up into a mess, and left.
Love...?
I brought my legs up to my chest, and hugged them to myself when I sat at where Soraru-san left me. The word "love" kept echoing in my mind as if it was the first time I had ever heard of the word.
"Me? And Soraru-san?" I said aloud, and then laughed mockingly when I realised how impossible we both sounded together.
There was no way... Right?
"Come to think of it, he didn't clean me up tonight," I muttered to myself when I remembered that it still felt a little sticky down there.
Me? Loving Soraru-san?
"... Stupid Soraru-san,"
If only you didn't put it that way, you wouldn't have gotten me thinking, would you?
TBC