Warning: This is an AU fan fiction!
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Months had passed since the incident. Soraru came back to the castle with his troops after that, together with Luz and Nqrse. The both of them were made to serve the castle, which wasn't what the two was expecting. They got the hang of things really quickly. Luz became the honest and loyal person he never was, working around the castle and helping out with whoever needs it.
Months had passed, and that was the amount of time Soraru spent at the training grounds with or without his guards, constantly indulged himself in training, even picking up archery which he had always disliked because he was bad at it. He stood with his body sideways, one foot back, and another forward, before he pulled at his arrow that was positioned on the string of his bow, and let go, watching the arrow hit the target at the far end of the field.
"Soraru-san, you're still here?"
Soraru lowered his bow, and turned around to look at Kashitarou. He lowered his eyes at his hands that were covered in callouses, and walked towards the rack to place the bow back at where it belonged.
"You've been performing better than ever, even the King says so," said Kashitarou as he walked up to Soraru, and looked at the arrow Soraru shot that hit the middle of the target. He whistled, amazed at the accuracy before he smiled sadly at his friend. "But you need to rest, Soraru-san,"
"If you're here to tell me to go back to my chamber then you're just wasting your time, Kashitarou,"
Kashitarou let out a laugh.
"Of course, knowing you, I knew you'd say that. But no," he smiled at Soraru, and picked up a wooden spear at the rack next to the bows. He pointed the spear at Soraru, standing in a combat stance. "No, I'm not here to tell you that,"
Soraru picked up a wooden sword, and let a smile spread across his face. Kashitarou swung the spear down at Soraru, and Soraru put his sword up to block the blow before he swiftly moves his sword, and pushed the spear away. They exchanged a few as Kashitarou continued talking to him.
"I've just received a letter from Amatsuki-kun earlier in the evening," Kashitarou said, stopping mid-sentence when Soraru slashed his sword down with a little too much strength. Kashitarou complimented him before he continued. "He told me he's going to come to the castle tomorrow morning,"
"That's nice. It has been a while since you saw him, hasn't it?" responded Soraru, sounding genuinely happy for his friend. He jumped backwards, keeping a slight distance away from his opponent, lowered his body, positioned himself to give Kashitarou a proper strike, and pushed himself forward, charging up at him.
"And he's bringing Mafu-kun with him, apparently," added Kashitarou.
Soraru, who was running up to Kashitarou, tripped forward upon hearing that. Kashitarou dropped his spear, and covered his mouth to stifle a laugh, except it really wasn't helping because he was instantly roaring with laughter in a few seconds.
"... Why are you telling me that now?" Soraru pushed himself up, and frowned at him before he sat on the ground with his legs crossed.
Kashitarou wiped a tear off the corner of his eyes, and went up to Soraru. He crouched so that he was at the same eye level as him, and grinned at him.
"It has been a while since you saw him too, hasn't it?"
Soraru rolled his eyes at him. It infuriated him, how Kashitarou used his words back at him, but it was true. The reason why he was always, and constantly here, keeping himself busy, was so that he could get him off of his mind. But it wasn't as bad as when he completely lost track of Mafumafu because he learnt that Kashitarou and Amatsuki wrote letters to each other very often, and the sly, sneaky fox had Amatsuki report to him about how Mafumafu was doing at times just so he could see Soraru like this.
After the incident, it was true that they never met anymore. Not once, not at all. In fact, all Soraru had was what Amatsuki tells Kashitarou through the letters, and he hated to admit it, but it was one of the things he look forward to hearing every now and then in the castle.
They were nothing big, maybe just something simple like, "Mafu-kun was smiling at the crops that he planted as he watered them!" or, "Mafu-kun harvested his first potato, and we made stew together! Remind me to never let him use a knife in the kitchen ever again!" or even things that would make Soraru's heart squeeze tightly, like, "Mafu-kun was crying in his sleep that night,"
He could have asked Kashitarou to let him in for a few words, but he could never. Yet, here he was, occupying himself with tasks and waiting for any letters that had hints of Mafumafu. What a coward he was, but that one step was just inevitably hard to take.
The dagger, Soraru kept it for him in the end. He had it with him everywhere he went, and there were countless of times when Soraru would just stop by the royal garden during his patrols at night, taking the dagger out from his boot, and he'd just look at it, thinking about Mafumafu. If he said that the dagger gives him a reason to come see him, then why wasn't he here with him now? He thought of going to him himself, but he couldn't, not because he didn't want to, but he was afraid to.
He was afraid he might not want to leave him. He was afraid he might start doing things to him the moment he sees him because of how much he yearned for him. There would go all the enduring he had done all this time if he did.
And so they had not met at all since.
Kashitarou put out a hand at Soraru, and Soraru took it, pulling himself up with the help of his friend. He patted the dirt off his clothes, and picked up the sword that he left on the ground, placing it back on the racks after.
"... Tomorrow?" asked Soraru, trying to sound as if he didn't care.
"Which is why you should get some sleep, so then we can go see them at the entrance first thing in the morning," nodded Kashitarou before he put the wooden spear back in place, letting it lean against the wooden rack.
Soraru glanced at him with a face of dissatisfaction because he hated it when Kashitarou was getting him to do things that he didn't want to do. He let out an exasperated sigh, and gave in, nodding his head at Kashitarou, not wanting to look at that idiotic grin he must have had on his face back then as he walked passed him.
He walked back to his chamber after cleaning himself up, and talked to 96neko for a bit about Amatsuki and Mafumafu's arrival at the castle tomorrow before he opened the door into his room. He looked up at the window that was directly in front of his eyes when the door was opened, and he widened his eyes at the sight.
Mafumafu stared back at him with horror, his face was flushed in the colour red in an instant, and he moved to the left so that he could hide behind the walls beside the window.
... Why was he standing outside of his window? His chamber was up high in this building, and Soraru quickly walked to the window, and pushed it up to open it. He didn't want him to fall. He poked his head out, and there Mafumafu was, keeping his balance on the limited amount of ground he had beneath him.
The young lad turned his head to look at him for a second before he turned his head away, attempting to inch further away from Soraru.
"It's dangerous, Mafumafu," Soraru reached out to Mafumafu, looking at him worriedly. "You're going to fall if you're not careful,"
Mafumafu shook his head, and continued moving away from Soraru. Soraru frowned and lifted his foot up, only to step onto the window sill, carrying himself out. Mafumafu let out a quiet shriek, and increased the pace of his footsteps.
"Mafumafu!"
Soraru watched as Mafumafu lost his balance. With one hand grabbing hold to something strong and sturdy, he stretched his arm out to catch Mafumafu in it. He pulled him into his room with him, and sat on the ground with Mafumafu on top of him.
Mafumafu pushed himself away from Soraru, and tried to stand up but Soraru only held him closer, tightly. He closed his eyes and let out his breath slowly. He could still feel his hands trembling, and he thanked the heavens for the fact that Mafumafu was not hurt.
The young lad only stayed in his arms, and froze. Soraru had no idea how much time had passed, maybe it had only been mere seconds, but Mafumafu eventually snaked his arms around his back, and returned the hug. He could feel him clench his fists on the fabric of his shirt, and Soraru was relieved by it.
He was glad that Mafumafu felt the same as him.
They sat there for a while as Soraru buried his face into Mafumafu's chest, and rubbed his face into his shirt, breathing in his scent, imprinting it at the back of his mind. Soraru could then feel Mafumafu's fingers in his hair as he combed it gently, entangled his fingers around the curls of it.
"Why are you here at this time of the night?"
"... I thought of familiarizing myself with the castle's atmosphere first so that I wouldn't be too nervous tomorrow..."
Soraru then lifted his head up, and let his chin rest on Mafumafu's chest, causing Mafumafu to sit back. His beautiful ruby red eyes staring straight into his, seemingly surprised at Soraru's actions as he blinked at him, confused.
"... I thought I was never going to see you again," said Soraru softly as he stared up at Mafumafu. He looked away when Soraru said that, and his lips formed a thin, straight line in reaction to Soraru's statement.
"... I needed time to get everything back in check," explained Mafumafu. "I helped run errands, helped the people at the slums, tended to my injured friends,"
He told Soraru about what he had been doing for the past few months. He stopped when he noticed Soraru's change of mood.
"Even so, you could have come to the castle once in a while," said Soraru, sounding extremely upset at Mafumafu.
"You could have come to the slums!"
"As the King's knight, I would need a proper reason to step out of the castle," there was no way in heavens that Soraru was going to tell him the truth to that.
"And as a commoner, I have no rights to step into the castle!" and being Mafumafu, he was as stubborn as ever, fighting Soraru back with words.
Soraru let out an annoyed sigh. He pulled Mafumafu closer, his arms tightened around his waist.
"Then you could at least have written me a letter,"
"I tried-!" Mafumafu stopped at his sentence, and closed his mouth back up together. Soraru cocked a brow at him, wanting him to go on. Mafumafu only puckered his lips before he quietly continued as his face started to redden. "... I tried but I was scared..."
Oh, he was surprisingly honest tonight. How could it be possible for a man to be even more attractive than a woman? He was absolutely adorable. It was as Lon said. Mafumafu was a strong and powerful opponent whom he thought he would never win against.
Soraru lifted his head off of Mafumafu's chest, and dropped a kiss on Mafumafu's puckered lips. Mafumafu was shocked, and pulled back. Soraru tried to lean in for more, but Mafumafu placed his hand on Soraru's lips, pushing his face away from him. He looked troubled, and Soraru liked it a lot when he is. He then kissed Mafumafu's fingers, making him flinch and blush even more furiously than before.
There. That was what he was looking for.
Be troubled for me, he'd think to himself. He sighed inwardly at himself for his childishness, but he couldn't resist it.
Mafumafu exerted strength on his arm, and pushed Soraru's face harder this time. Soraru ignored the pain, picked him up, and placed him on an empty space on his desk that was full of papers and books. He caught Mafumafu's hand that was coming down at him for a slap; and the other when it came up at him for a punch in the gut. He smirked, before he pressed his lips up against Mafumafu's gently.
They were but feather light bird kisses at first, with Soraru pecking him again, and again over his forehead, his eyelids, and his lips. But when he felt Mafumafu's body relax, he let go of his hands, and cupped his hands over his cheeks, lifting Mafumafu's head up before he deepened the kiss, sealing their lips up together, not allowing them to separate.
Soraru sucked gently onto Mafumafu's tongue, causing him to whimper against his lips. Mafumafu was probably not expecting it since Soraru didn't do anything outrageous like this during the first time they kissed. Soraru opened his eyes, and watched how indecent Mafumafu looked when he melts in his kiss, contented at the fact that he was the only one who could see this. He then broke the kiss ever so slightly, and kissed him again, repeating the process until Mafumafu's mind turned into a haze.
When he finally let go, not wanting to lose his control before the both of them would do something that they would regret, Mafumafu put his hands on Soraru's cheeks, and leaned in for another kiss him on the corner of his lips. Soraru blinked at him. He did not expect that from him. And the next thing Mafumafu said was the death of him.
"... More..."
Soraru could feel blood running to his face and covered it with his hand. He swore that Mafumafu definitely knew how to arouse his sexual desires, and he was really good at it. He was ready to sweep him in his arms and carry him to bed, but it would seem that it wasn't time.
"Sorarun, we're here to talk about how we should- Gyah?! Don't look, Lon!" shouted the person who came slamming his door open, and intruding Soraru's privacy. Both Soraru and Mafumafu jumped at the loud noise, and Mafumafu quickly brought his legs up on reflex. "Sorarun, that's not very gentleman of you!"
"What is it?! What is it?!" said Lon as she tried to pry 96neko's hands away. When she jumped a little so that she could see pass 96neko, 96neko did the same. When she moved her body to the right, 96neko did the same. "96-chan, move! I can't see!"
All the shrieking and shouting were starting to hurt Soraru's head, but he kept his body hovered over Mafumafu's, and pressed Mafumafu's head down to cover his face in his chest with his other hand rested on his waist.
Soraru turned his head back to look at 96neko and the princess. His face clearly said that he wasn't very happy at their presence in his chamber. He hissed at them for barging into his room without even bothering to knock at the door.
"L-Look, I didn't know that you had someone over?" began 96neko. She knew best to not test Soraru's patience. She tried to push Lon out of the room, but Lon pressed her weight on her, not letting her have her way.
"Is that Mafumafu-san?!" asked Lon loudly, jumping up and down excitedly on 96neko. Eventually, the both of them fell forward into Soraru's room, and Lon quickly got back to her feet, waiting for Soraru to introduce him to her.
"... Princess, can't we wait until morning for that?" Soraru looked back at Mafumafu who lifted his eyes to look at him. He petted his head to tell him to not worry. "It's late and you should go back to your bedchamber before the King finds out that you're wandering around again,"
"We could, but I've always wanted to meet him, and you know that!"
"... But we were in the middle of- Oof!" Soraru was stopped with a blow into the stomach, and choked on his words before Mafumafu glared at him and pushed his body off of him. Soraru could see how red the tips of his ears were behind his hair, and it was so endearing. 96neko, who was still lying on her stomach on the ground, laughed at Soraru hysterically before shutting up after Soraru picked up a book on his desk and threw it at her.
Mafumafu got off the table, and got down to one knee before Lon, lowering his head before he greeted her. Lon went up to him, and pulled him up by the arm, telling him that he didn't need to be courteous with her. She was apparently satisfied now that they were properly introduced.
"Well, it is late, 96-chan and I shall head back to our bedchambers," said Lon as she stepped out of her room with 96neko following after her. "Would Mafumafu-san want me to have the maids prepare you another room for you to retreat to?"
"It's fine, princess," Soraru pulled Mafumafu by the arm, and stepped forward.
Lon glanced over at Mafumafu who was currently hidden behind Soraru. Mafumafu nodded shyly, and Lon smiled.
"It is if you say so!" Lon said before she turned to Mafumafu. "Do not hesitate to have Soraru-san get you anything at all! If he mistreated you, I would have him go through punishments!"
Soraru peeked at Mafumafu with the corner of his eyes, and watched as Mafumafu shook his head intensely at Lon's words. He picked up his hand, held it behind him so that Lon and 96neko would not notice, and squeezed it softly. Mafumafu turned pink at the gesture, earning a giggle from Lon.
"Have a good night, gentlemen," Lon left them with these words, and turned to walk away down the long corridor. "I will see you tomorrow morning and I expect us to have a proper talk over a cup of tea, Mafumafu-san!"
Soraru pulled Mafumafu back in, and had him sit on his bed. Mafumafu put his hands up, ready to land a punch on Soraru to defend himself, just in case he did something funny to him. Soraru laughed wryly at him. Everything about him was so lovable; it warms Soraru's heart up.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything to you,"
Mafumafu squinted at him, undeniably doubting Soraru's words. Soraru let out a chuckle, and went to close the window that was left opened until just now as he promised him again that he wouldn't. For an instance, Soraru thought he could see Mafumafu looking a little disappointed after that. He then walked up to him, placed both his hands on either side of Mafumafu's thighs, and smirked boyishly at him.
"... Were you expecting something from me?"
"Of course I wasn't!"
Soraru surprised him with a quick peck on the lips before he carried him into bed and put him under his covers. He hugged him from behind, and closed his eyes. He wasn't quite happy with what happened just now, but one part of him was relieved that that happened. He didn't want to force himself on Mafumafu, and who knows how far would they go by now if it hadn't?
"... You've changed quite a fair bit, Mafumafu,"
"Have I?"
"If it were the you from back then, I couldn't even keep count on how many times would you have punched and kicked me for the things I do to you," he let out a sigh after that and added, "And now you're here, asking me to for more..."
"That's-!" Soraru could feel Mafumafu burn up in his arms. It was perfect since the weather was getting colder these days, and he could use some extra warmth under the blankets. Mafumafu lowered his voice, and said quietly after that. "That's because it's been so long..."
"But that doesn't answer the main question,"
"... I can't say it,"
"You can't?"
Mafumafu shook his head, and Soraru kissed him on the back of his head, causing Mafumafu to shiver in his arms.
"Then can I say it?"
"... No,"
"Why can't I?"
Mafumafu pinched Soraru's arm, giving it a good little twist, and Soraru yelped in pain. He pried away his hand from his arm, rubbing at where he was just pinched after that.
"Because there wouldn't be any way to go back if you did,"
"There need not be a way to go back," Soraru nudged his head with his lips. He turned Mafumafu around to look at him, and Mafumafu clasped his hands on Soraru's face, and pinched, pulling his cheeks outwards.
"... Sometimes I really wonder if you were the gentleman and knight everyone calls you, or are you just a perverted idiot who happened to be given this face by luck,"
Soraru laughed at him. He realised he laughs a lot whenever Mafumafu was here with him, and he couldn't say that he disliked it.
"I'm only ever like this when I'm with you, though,"
"... I'll punch you,"
"Oh?"
Mafumafu slapped Soraru in the face, lightly as a warning. Soraru smiled at him as Mafumafu's face was tinted with pink, looking absolutely lovely under the candlelight. Not only kissing him would turn into a habit, it would seem that teasing him would slowly become one too.
"It's such a waste to go to sleep now that you're here with me,"
"... We have all morning tomorrow,"
"We're meeting up with Amatsuki at the gates and then tea with the princess, so no, we don't,"
"... Well then that's too bad," said Mafumafu as he turned his back on Soraru, pulling the blankets over his face.
"Would you want me sneak you away in the afternoon?"
"I'll punch you,"
"That sounds like a yes," Soraru smirked playfully, amused at Mafumafu's response.
They both laid there in silence after that. Soraru moved his hand up to hold Mafumafu's, and started squeezing his fingers lightly in between his. Mafumafu didn't want him to say it because things would change drastically if he did, and he knew Mafumafu was too afraid to say it himself, which was why Soraru wouldn't force him to.
But he knew he was trying his best to tell him through his actions, and that was more than enough to make Soraru the happiest man on earth. The way he acted under his touch made his true feelings seem as clear as day. He was a strong one, capable of a lot of things, but he was Mafumafu, awkward and passive, violent and shy, but cute and very adorable.
He leaned in so that his chest was pressed up against Mafumafu's back, pretty sure he could feel his heart beating rapidly against his ribcage through the thin layer of his shirt, but he couldn't care less. He lowered his head to rest his chin on Mafumafu's shoulder, and let out a sigh.
He didn't care if there was no going back, because he didn't need it at all. All he needed was one thing.
"... I love you, Mafumafu," he whispered into his ear.
And he would tell him this over, and over again until he would give himself to him.
TBC
A/N: Hello again! It's been a month, and I deeply apologise for the late update! I'm definitely behind schedule, and I'm not even sure if I can make another update for this month but I will try! I hope you enjoyed reading, and have a good day!