LALISA MANOBAN'S POV
It's night time now and we are back to our home. Rosie didn't even know that I brought her here since she was asleep when I carry her to the car this afternoon. She didn't know what's happening in the mansion when she was upstairs sleeping after the injection. She didn't know the fact that I bicker with my parents and stood for myself so tall and brave for the first time saying it all out to them after keeping it all Inside for so many years. It feels a bit relieving but doesn't ease the pain that I still feel in the depths of my heart.
But this woman. I look at the bump of the duvet on the middle of the bed. She always make my past memories dissapear whenever she is around me. She is my escape, my reality, my presence which could help me to walk through the chain that tries to pull me backwards to the past and moves to the front. My wife taught me one thing, that, please do stand for your own self because nobody will fight for you as much as you fight for your own selves. By the end of the day, you will only got you yourself alone to stand in the middle of the war land fighting against your own demon. True, I have Rosie in my life and I know she's fighting with me in whatever war I am in but she told me that she can only be my knight in shining armor, protecting me from arrows and bullets when it comes to real people. But if it's my own demon in myself that fights with me, she can't do anything to tame my own evilness that tries to kill me. She told me; to tame the lion, you have to know the core of its weakness. She told me to always remember who I am and how much had I become if I ever feel low and blue. And she will always be there to hold my hand and lend me her body as my support to lean on. She told me that if I lose a limb, she'll give me her limb. If I lose an arms, she'll be my arms. If I lose my eyes, she'll be my eyes. She told me she will always be by my sides and she will not leave me alone. She's always here and she proved it to me everytime.
The funny part that made me laugh when she first told me those is the way she shrug her shoulder and say "this never applies on me but maybe you will. I'm kind of messy. Clumsy ass and I don't like fighting demon, you know? Demon is better than God" . The fact that she even have that judging look looking up to the sky that night really funny. The sarcastic look of those gossiping aunty was clearly seen on her face. She really hate God.
And I don't know why she hate God so much.
Shaking my heads off from the thought, I shook the hiding figure beneath the duvet using my hand. "Rosie my love, come have your medicine" I call her. The figure crawl further from my touch which I groan to. Part of it want to make me laugh but I don't think laughing is good in this situation if I want to convince her to take her medicine.
This could be said as love war to the fact that my wife now is hidding under the duvet trying to hide from eating her medicine. She is acting very kid-like. "Nooooo" she protested. She peak her head looking at me through the duvet but then when I show her the medicine in my hand, she cover herself back again. "No no no no Lisa. You eat that. Shooo shoo"
Wh..what? Wait. Did she just.. shooing me??
My jaw hang law. This woman is so unbelievable.
I swallow hard. My hand moving up to wipe away the none-existence sweat on my forehead. "Really?" I say in the feeling of disbelief. The puffy face chipmunk peak through the duvet again, sticking her face till the upper part of her neck. Her lips is pursued and she nod her head adorably crazy that I feel like dying seeing that.
Damn my heart is shot straight with an arrow. I'll die of love after this. I think my death is written as dead because of adorable face of my dear wife. I'm dying. This heart can't stand this. I'm too weak for this.
I swear I'll be like one of those in the comic having my nose bleeding. "I..god" I turn around. How will I even able to be so stern now when all she show me is that adorable pout? She look like a little kid playing peek-a-boo using the duvet. My heart can't do this.
My heart can't stand this.
My heart is beating crazily. Fuck.
"My daa-ling? You mad?" The innoncent tone of the woman perk in my ears. I swallow hard the lump of my throat. Mad? It's more like dead here. Does she even know that??
"Um no" I say. I hear the fluster in my tone and clear my throat. I got to gather myself up now and make her eat this pill. "Pill my love. Come and take this" I say. I turn around just to be greet with the excessive head shake. Her hand pulling the duvet up to the tip of her nose.
Seriously?
"Yah no" she protested. The stubborn woman still insist on being a kid. How will I make her eat this medicine now? She is stubborn as hell.
"My queen" I sat myself by the end of the bed board. A sigh escaped my lips as I stare at the pill in my hands. It's been 30 minutes and she doesn't even want to take it.
Should I pull a drama? I think I should. To master the mind of a drama queen, we have to be the director, don't we?
I pull a sad face with a long sigh.
"Daa-ling?" I hear the tiny voice of hers rang. It fills with concern and I know she really believe in my acting when I feel the bed move under me. "Daa-ling Lisa?" She call.
I sigh again. "I guess, I'll have to starve myself for 1 day starting from tonight till tomorrow. If you didn't eat this medicine, I won't be able to breathe peacefully" I mumble. It's a part of lies and truth. I really know that I won't be able to stay still if she didn't take this pill. It's important for her. "I guess, this is it. Let's call this a night. Go to sleep. I'll be downstairs"
I rose on my feet, ignoring the hand that slip away from my shoulder. She touch me when I was going up from the bed. It made me feel bad but I kind of feel really naturally down now. Rosie is stubborn. Only she can change her mind and no one else. She has to be the one to want to do it or else, nothing will even go in my way. I can't possibly shove this medicine to her mouth, don't I?
"Maybe I should be the one to eat this then" I mumble. I bring the medicine to my mouth and chew. The taste is so biting that I feel myself want to vomit it all out but I hold myself back. Just a bit and then it's done.
"Lisa" I hear her calling again. This time, she grip on my arms tightly like she don't want me to go. And I smile a bit knowing this is it. The right moment to do it.
Turning around in one smooth moves, I pull the back of her neck to crash her lips onto mine. She went stiff when I first crash us onto each other but then she soften her own self. I didn't move my lips but instead, it was her who suck on my bottom lips and moan throatily to the way she move sensually dancing against my lips.
I took that cue to stick my tongue out and shove it into her parting lips. The contain of my mouth spills into her and she come to realization with the attempt of jerk she made. But I hold her back of neck firm in my hold to make sure she drink all the chewed medicine spilled to her mouth.
"Mmmph" she whimper. She was force to swallow the contain when I pull her hair slightly a bit hard to make sure it goes down her throat.
Then I let go. I let go with a big grin on my face. She choke a cough holding onto her neck looking up at me in murderous look right now. But I choose to just smile wider to that. I know the very most of murdering attempt is to make me bleed a little. I bet her ass can't even lift a limb right now. She'll feel sleepy in no time. I was told the sleepiness is the side effects of the medicine.
"Haha" she fake a sarcastic laugh. "So romantic" she mocked. She roll her eyes then move away to her sides of the bed.
She made me stare amused. Oh? She didn't even got mad at me? Not even at least a slap? Alright. That's new. "Yeah, romantic don't we?" I play along.
I saw she snort in annoyance and laugh at it. Even being angry made her look beautiful. She look so gorgeous in her yellow pajamas. "Don't talk to me or I'll kiss you to vomit those liquid back to your mouth" she threatened. There is an edge of her words seeking for provocation.
So I know not to provoke her. "I'd rather sleep then" I say. I fake a yawn and climb onto the bed. "Tommorow at the same hour of the time, you'll be having it again. In the morning, you will eat three types of pills. Then in night time is the one you had previously consumed"
"I hate you" she groan. She lay herself down on her pillow then have her back turn on me. She is sulking. I know she is and that is so adorable.
I lay myself beside her. She may be sulking but I don't care about it. She can sulk as long as she took her medicine on time.
Smilling, I scoot closer towards her sides of the bed till our body pressed against one another. I hear the tiny sigh in my hearing but I don't know if it was just my feeling or what. But I don't care. All I care about is this warm body pressed against me that feel so comfy. I can sleep just having her wrapped in my arms. The smells of her scents filling my nostrils. This could be more effective than sleeping pills. I feel sleepy now.
"Nighty my baby in there" I rub my hand against the flat tummy. It still doesn't have bumb yet and it's normal. I already asked Irene about it and she told me that the baby bumb will only show like in after 12 weeks of pregnancy due to this is the first pregnancy of Rosie. I'm so excited to see her belly grow bigger. The little devil in there must be so excited to meet us in real life too. "Don't be naughty and stay healthy, alright?"
I feel Rosie hand on top of my hand. She hold firm to my hand and let it stay on her belly. Her thumb moving to brush the back of my hand as I hear her sigh loudly. "I feel... different Lisa. Being pregnant is.. different" she mumble. Her words caught me off guard but I choose to silence myself to listen. "It feels like I have this weird feeling. This type of connection with someone in my belly. It feel almost like a strong protective feeling that make me want to protect this child. I..it's weird. I feel the way I grow fond to it like, I feel so excited to see it's growing. I just..I just feel naturally loving it. I didn't even see this little devil yet. My tummy is flat too but somehow, I can feel it's growing and we have this connection where I feel like I can feel the baby"
Her words made my lips stretch wide. Maybe this is what it's called motherhood connection through pregnancy. It was scientifically proven that the pregnant mother will have strong connection with the baby growing inside of them as early as the pregnancy happened. It's a miracle and it is so heart warming. Rosie is becoming more emphatic towards her words and this child could be the one to change our life to become brighter light sheds of sunlight.
"That's great. It's beautiful" I whisper to her ear. She humm in response then turn around to face me. Her tiny smile greet my eyes which made my heart skip a beat to this closeness of our face with that pure happiness she show me on her face.
"It is and I love it" she whisper back to me. She bury her head to the crook of my neck and hug me tight. "I don't know if I can be a great mother, Lisa. What if I fuck this up?"
I made a shh sound. My hand rubbing against the top of her head to calm her worries down. She is doubting, she is anxious. She needs reassurance and I will give her everything she needed. "You'll be a good mommy, okay? Look at you saying you have the protective feeling. You can also feel the baby and you have connection which mean your heart love the baby so much, don't you?"
Rosie stay unmoved.
So I carry on. "Connection comes with cares and loves. Connections comes with trust and pure feeling, my love. You'll be a great mommy. I know you. Just wait and see how I prove you my words when you have this little devil out of you. I'll be there to capture every moment in the future. Even now, this little devil of ours must be feeling loved by both of his or her parents" I assure her. I have my faith in her. Rosie lifestyle may be too much not compatible with the fact we are having a baby coming but I know things will definitely open its own way for us to make it fit. This little devil will be just fine. This little devil will live its life to the fullest with the love of both parents filling him or her with every steps of growing up.
"M..hmm" she humm. She sound so tiny that I can hear the snore of sleepiness through her words. The medicine must had kicked in that she feel sleepy now.
"I love you my queen" I peck her top of head. My hand tighten against her body to make sure she is secure and safe in my hold. I always fear nothing in my life but then this woman come to me three years ago. And now, I fear one thing for most;
Losing her.
I don't want to lose her. It drives me insane every single time she put herself in danger. It drives me crazy when I was told she is at risk in this pregnancy by Irene. I become paranoid, I become hypocrite. I don't want to lose her. No. If I have to choose, she is always my choice. Always be.
Always.
Till Infinity.
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