Broken In Love

Chapter 59

"I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly!" Dean was now on his feet screaming at me. "What exactly does "it's Roman" mean?"

I took a deep breath, "He kissed me."

"HE WHAT?"

"HE KISSED ME!" I screamed.

Dean's eyes locked on mine and hardened. "When?"

"Dean, it doesn't matter....."

"WHEN?!"

"It was weeks ago. I barely even remember it."

"Shit!"

"Dean, please don't be angry with him." I begged.

"What the hell am I supposed to do, Charlie? My best friend kissed you!"

"He didn't mean to."

"How is that even fucking possible?"

"Dean, I know how you feel, but...."

"How the fuck am I supposed to feel, Charlie? I can't be jealous. I can't be hurt. I just fucking love you!"

I stared into his eyes. "Dean...." I said breathlessly.

He interrupted me by pressing his lips against mine. He pulled me close to him and for a moment, I actually allowed it. I pulled his neck down so I could have better access to his lips. One of his hands cupped my cheek while the other was wrapped tightly around my waist. When he noticed I wasn't pushing him away, he relaxed into the kiss and loosened his tight grip on me.

I loved kissing Dean. I loved the way it made me feel. I was so special to him and he used to be my world.

Maybe he still was. Maybe I wasn't really over him like I thought. I wanted to be closer to him. I wanted to desperately be with him. What was standing in the way?

Seth. Roman. My feelings for them were real too. They were still on the list of confusing men.

I decided to just enjoy this moment with Dean and try to push Seth and Roman to the back of my mind, but it was almost impossible.

I wondered if I'd ever be able to kiss him ever again without thinking of anyone, but him. Our wedding day. That would've been my moment. My moment, my kiss, my man. Things had changed.

I pulled away slowly. "I do love you, Dean." I said as he desperately stared into my eyes. "What I said on the phone.....about not being in love with you anymore....." I shook my head, "it wasn't true. I thought it was, but it wasn't. I do love you." I said and I started to see a smile slowly form on his face. "But, I love them too."

His face dropped instantly.

I didn't even know what I was saying. Yes, I loved Seth.....did I love Roman? I'd never thought about that.

"You do?" He asked in such a way that I thought I was about to see Dean Ambrose cry.

"Yeah." I said after a while. "I think I do."

He backed away from me, giving me my space. He shook his head. "What am I supposed to do, Charlie?"

"Dean, I don't want you to be hurt."

"I can't be without you."

"Well I can't be with you."

His head snapped up to look at me like I'd just said the most hurtful possible thing.

He looked down at the ground. "I miss how we used to be. I should've never walked away." I stayed silent. "What happened to that girl who was begging me not to leave her? How exactly did those roles get reversed?"

I shrugged. "She grew up, Dean. And I'm not leaving you. I'm just not gonna be with you."

He nodded. "Maybe I should go."

"If you want to."

"I don't think you want me to stay."

"I never said I didn't."

"Do you?"

"........yeah."

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