Fighting Fate

38. Good Years

"What's up good lookin?" I take a seat beside Zayn on the step outside the house. Harry is in his room, Liam is in the kitchen, Louis is playing playstation in the living room and Niall is in the same room on his phone. I noticed that the two weren't engaging in conversation despite being metres away from one another.

It reminds me of a couple years ago. When they would ask to stay in the same accomodation instead of separate hotels. Now they would like anything other than to be in the same household. They don't hate each other, but they appreciate their own space.

The holiday where we all went to Hamilton Island in the end of 2013. That was our last group holiday with the five of them. It saddens me that it may not ever happen again. Those holidays are times I will never forget. It's where Harry and I first fell in love with each other. 

It's sad it has come to this. I don't know if it is because they've got older, grown apart or because they have spent so much time together these past four and a half years, that they just want space. 

When they're on stage, you'd have no idea they would be like this. But the second they get off stage, they don't sit around and have drinks together or go back to the hotel and watch a film. They disperse and have time to themselves. 

"How'd you know I was out here?"

I look at his lap and being the nosey human I am, I see that he is writing something on the notes app. He slowly angles the phone away from me so I cannot see the screen. Whatever he is writing is personal and I respect that. 

"I could see you from the balcony."

He looks up at the balcony and smiles to himself. Zayn leans into me, giving me a gentle nudge. "Stalker."

"Is this how it always is now?"

He locks his phone and places it on the pavement beside him. "What do you mean?" He squints one eye shut as the sun beams into his eyes. I hold up my hand to block the sun from his eyes. "A little to the left- yep, that's it. Thank you."

I laugh at him and hold my hand there. I can't guarantee it'll be for long because my arm is already starting to ache. 

"Do you always keep your distance?"

"Usually we are in our own hotel rooms so we have excuses not to see each other. When we are in a home together, that's when it becomes more noticeable." Zayn shrugs his shoulders and holds his hands out to the side. Clearly I brought up an uncomfortable topic for him. "So to answer your question, yeah probably."

"That's really sad."

He sighs. "It is what it is, Hailey."

"I know. I just wish it wasn't like this."

"Your boyfriend smiled at me today."

I raise my eyebrows. "That's progress. Things are looking up from here."

Zayn shakes his head. "No, he only smiled because I tripped up the step."

"Oh, anybody would have laughed at that."

He rolls his dark brown eyes. Man I would kill to have his eyelashes. They're so long and thick. "Shut up." 

The baby starts kicking my stomach and I adjust my body by leaning back and placing my hand on the ground behind me to support my weight. I place my other hand on my stomach and smile. I'll never get tired of this feeling. I still can't find words to describe it. 

"Is she kicking?" Zayn asks me and I nod. "May I?"

"Yeah, go ahead." I move my hand away so he can place his hand on my stomach. His right hand hovers over my stomach for a moment as he is hesitant about touching my stomach. I grab his hand and place it over the spot where the movement is coming from.