Fighting Fate

78. Forever

Harry and I frantically pace around the room, trying to think of what method we can try next to calm London down. 

"Did you put her on the boob?" 

"Harry, that was the first thing I tried."

"Changed her diaper?"

I place my hands on my forehead, growing more frustrated by the second because London's cries are disrupting my ability to think. She has been crying non-stop for thirty minutes now. Harry suggested we call the hospital because as first time parents, if your child does anything out of the ordinary you immediately think the worst. 

"I've tried feeding her, changed her diaper - which was clean by the way, burped her and even changed her clothes incase she was uncomfortable in the Gucci outfit her father insisted on dressing her in this morning."

Harry holds his hand in the air. "I am father." He stares down at London who is wearing her black and white Gucci all-in-one. She does look extremely adorable in it. I just feel so helpless right now because she can't communicate to us what she wants. 

Harry picks her up from her crib and walks around the room with her. He speaks to her calmly and continues walking around. We were both hopeful that 

"Maybe she misses Zayn."

I stare at Harry, not in the mood for laughing. 

"Hey, I'm just trying to lighten the mood. If we are stressed, she is going to sense that and act up. Especially you because she is attached to you Hailey. She was literally inside of you for over nine months."

I nod my head in agreement. "You're right."

Zayn is out visiting a friend today. It would be ironic if that were the case, but he had left the house over an hour before she became unsettled. She woke up completely fine this morning, but while I was feeding her she suddenly detached from my boob and that's when all hell broke loose. 

Harry picks up his phone and holds it to his ear. "Hi Mum ... Yes, that's London. She has been crying for half an hour and we can't seem to figure out why ... That's normal? Are you sure? ... Yes, we've done that ... Yep, done that too ... She pulled away from Hailey mid feed and that's when she got upset." He pulls the phone away from his ear and looks at me. "Mum said try burping her again."

"But I already- ugh, alright." I take London from Harry and sit with her on the nursing chair. "Baby, I am so sorry. I want to help you." I say to her, getting quite emotional myself. I hold her up to my chest and support her head while she rests it on my shoulder. I pat her back, trying to alleviate any gas that is inside of her. 

She continues crying and now it sounds like she is gasping for air. 

"She has her up on her shoulder. I'm going to put you on speaker." Harry puts Anne on speakerphone so that she can speak to me. 

"Hailey darling, try placing her on your lap on her stomach. I know it sounds strange, but it works wonders. Place her on your lap and put your hands under the part between her neck and jaw to support her head. Pat her back just as you would any other time."

I follow Anne's instructions and after a minute of tapping on her back, London is sick on my legs. She whines for a couple of seconds longer before stopping completely.  

"Oh my god." Harry says in relief. "Thank you Mum. You are a legend."

I close my eyes in relief and pick up London and hold her against my chest. "Thank you Anne. Thank you so much." 

I kiss the top of London's head. "You scared us baby girl." I rock back and forth with her in my arms. "After all that, she just had gas." I say looking at Harry who is saying his goodbyes to Anne. If I had a dollar for every time that Harry and I have called our mother's these past few weeks, we would be able to purchase the house next door.