Fighting Fate

6. A Mess

I take the phone from his hands. "Thanks." Harry walks out of the room and I close the bathroom door. "Hey Z, everything okay?" 

I take a seat on the edge of the bathtub and extend my leg as I stare down at the light shining down on my pale skin. I need some Australian sun but at the same time I don't want skin cancer. 

"Hailey" Zayn says, barely above a whisper. "Hailey, I can't do it."

"Zayn, where are you? Are you alone?"

"Yes." He sniffles. "I couldn't get ahold of you. I called you so many times."

I could hear it in his voice from his first words. He is crying and it breaks my heart hearing him this way. This wouldn't be the first time. Especially lately he has been struggling a lot more than usual. 

"My phone died, I'm so sorry. But I am here for you now. Speak to me."

"I can't do this anymore Hailey. I need to get out. I need to get out of it all."

I stand up from my spot on the bathtub and start brushing my teeth. Zayn can't be alone right now. Perrie is on tour and all of his family are back home currently. 

"Where are you? Just take deep breaths in and out."

Zayn takes a couple of breaths before speaking. "Hotel."

"Which hotel? I will come to yo-"

"No."

Okay, then maybe not. Zayn mentioned he wants out. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand what he wants out of. He wants out of his contracts, the spotlight and basically everything to do with being in One Direction. 

Just to prove that it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out, I ask him anyway. "What do you want out of Zayn?" 

"The band."

Wanting out of the band isn't something that will be taken lightly. He is unhappy and clearly struggling. It will break the boys hearts and I have no idea how they will continue on without Zayn. But at the end of the day his mental health is the most important thing. 

I just hope he can see the light at the end of the tunnel and get through this. The boys are his brothers, they are there for him. Lately he has distanced himself away from them. It started about eight months ago. 

I mean, Zayn has always been one who enjoys his own company more than others and would rather be by himself then hang out with the boys. Everybody enjoys time alone every now and then but Zayn has come to a point in his life where he shuts off from everybody on tour and will only speak to Perrie, his mum or me. 

I am grateful that our friendship is so strong and that he feels that he can trust me. I feel the same way with him. We have always been extremely close. At times it causes conflict between Harry and I but Harry accepts how close we are and that I am one of the only few that Zayn really trusts. 

"Zayn, are you sure you don't want me to come to you? We can speak about this."

No response.

"Zayn. Are you-"

"No Hailey. Just forget what I said. I shouldn't have involved you in this because I put you in the worst position."

Harry and I never keep secrets from each other because it makes us argue. Doesn't everybody hate secrets in relationships? If I wasn't so scared for Zayn then I would be shitting my pants at the thought of what I am going to tell Harry. 

"I am here for you Zayn. All of us are."

"No." He says sternly. "Only you get me."

"Zayn."