Fighting Fate

8. Park

Fortunately but unfortunately Zayn's assumption of plenty more happening that night was incorrect. Harry and I did in fact avoid each other the entire night. This was fortunate because our already broken relationship didn't get any worse. However, unfortunate because deep down inside of me, I was hoping that he would come talk to me because I missed him.

I want to ask how he is doing and not just get second-hand information from Zayn, Lou or Harry Styles update accounts which I have been these past three weeks.

The only form of contact we had for the remainder of the night was non-verbal eye contact. I could feel his intense stare on me and every now and then I would turn around to see him taking a sip of his drink whilst not breaking the eye contact. His facial expression remained blank and emotionless.

Anyway, I am back home in Australia now. I've been here for three weeks actually. I came back to spend time with my family and it has been incredible. They always know how to bring a smile to my face when I am down. Especially my niece and nephew. They have the purest souls.

These past five days however, I haven't felt the best. Last Sunday is when things took a turn for the worst and I began throwing up. My dad was too and initially we thought it was food poisoning from Rachel's chicken that she cooked Saturday night, but dad is better now. I on the other, hand am not.

Hopefully I will get over it soon because I have a few big days of press and other interviews as another song of mine is coming out. I will fly to Melbourne and Brisbane to perform, as well as here in Sydney too. 

It's Friday the 17th of October. Officially eight weeks since Harry and I ended things. Everyone keeps telling me things will get better with time, however I'm currently not feeling better about anything. Eight weeks just isn't enough time to get over Harry Styles. I need eight lifetimes. Maybe even more than that.  

Heather, my manager has been a major support network for me. She has always been hard on me but she has been amazing lately. I was only supposed to have one week off to spend at home but she has extended that to a month. 

She pulled a few strings and cleared everything international on my schedule. Any important meetings she organised to be via FaceTime so that I could remain here in Australia. I'll be flying out to different states of Australia, but those are only hour long flights and I get to perform so it doesn't even feel like a chore. I have missed being on stage even though it hasn't been that long. 

I'm laying in bed scrolling through Twitter. I follow One Direction fan pages on Twitter so each time I see one of their posts I close my eyes and continue scrolling because it makes me want to cry each time I see Harry. I want to unfollow those accounts for the sole purpose of not having to see his gorgeous face, but I am not going to because that would upset the owner of that account. They don't deserve that as they haven't done anything wrong. 

My door flies open and in walks Rachel with Tori standing to her left and baby Tyde on her right hip. "Get up" she says to me, turning on the lights, almost blinding me in the process. "Tori, go wake Aunty Hailey up."

Tori jumps onto my bed and dives on me. "Oh my, Tori" I hold her wrists as she was trying to reach for my face. She sits on top of me and I have to move her off my stomach. She is only light but I haven't been well these past couple of days and this stomach bug I have has made my stomach very sensitive.

"Tor, please get off. Aunty Hailey isn't feeling well."

"Bullshit, the I feel like I'm going to throw up excuse is not working for a fifth day in a row. I let you fool me with that for four days but dad is over the food poisoning so you should be too. Get up."