Fighting Fate

55. Did I Mean Nothing To You?

This song expresses exactly how I feel. I feel as though I meant nothing to him and that our friendship was all based on lies. I was always there for him and he repays me by shutting me out. There's no going back from this.

"Why did you leave me here to burn?
I'm way too young to be this hurt
I feel doomed in this room
Staring straight up at the wall
Counting wounds and I am trying to numb them all."

"Do you care, do you care?
Why don't you care?
I gave you all of me
My blood, my sweat, my heart, and my tears
Why don't you care, why don't you care?
I was there, I was there, when no one was
Now you're gone and I'm here."

"I have questions for you
Number one, tell me who you think you are
You got some nerve trying to tear my faith apart
Number two, why would you try and play me for a fool?
I should have never ever ever trusted you
Number three, why weren't you, who you swore that you would be?
I have questions, I got questions haunting me
I have questions for you."

"Oh, your voice, it was the most familiar sound
But it sounds so dangerous to me now-"

"I'm sorry." Ricardo says apologetically. He stops playing the grand black piano which is positioned in the main entrance of his house. It is a few metres away from a large floor to ceiling window which overlooks his infinity pool in his ginormous backyard.

"It's fine, am I singing it okay? What is it?" I ask, unsure as to why he cut me off from singing.

"I understand that you have a deeply emotional connection to this song and I love how raw your emotions are while singing it. I can tell how much pain you were in while writing this. But when you are singing, your breaths, they're too-" he clicks his fingers "what's the word for it? Desperate?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Too desperate to breathe? No offence Ricardo, but I am desperate. If I don't breathe, I simply die."

"No, not like that. It's just when you are singing-" he pauses and sits up straight and sucks in his stomach while tilting his nose upwards towards the ceiling. "I have questions. Number one, tell me who you think you are." He stops singing and lets out an audible gasp. "You got some nerve trying to tear my faith apart." Once again, he gasps.

Was I doing that?

"I'm gasping? My singing coach helped me out of that. Usually I am only gasping when I am dancing around too much on stage. Okay, let me try again."

"From the top." Ricardo tells me. "Three, two, one." He starts playing the keys on the piano.

Why did you leave me here to burn?
I'm way too young to be this hurt

Ricardo removes his hand from the piano and holds it out to me instead. "No, no, no. Sweetheart, you're doing it again. During our first writing session, I noticed it a little but I thought it was because you were emotional. But hearing you again now..."He lets out a shaky laugh. "I'm sorry, but I have to ask. My mother would remove my head from my shoulders if she knew I was about to ask this." He presses his hands together in a praying motion and looks up at the ceiling. Then his eyes land back down on me. "Hailey Hayes, are you pregnant?"

My eyes feel as though they have doubled in size as I sit here, staring at Ricardo in shock.

"Wait, what?"