The Solution (2nd Edition)

Xen

Chon ignored my points entirely and it felt like something was wrong. So, I fell silent and waited for a reaction, anything.

    "Xiōngdi, where have you been tonight?" he asked.

    "Little brother, what's your boggle?" I countered. "Come on, spit it out. Explain why you're being so a-abrupt?" Still, he said absolutely nothing, so I answered him first. "Alright, grumpy, I've been at work - why you asking?"

    With a disappointed look, Chon paused. "Just wondering," he said nonchalantly, "and you're absolutely sure?"

    "Of course, I am," I said. But deep down I was rattled and started to feel a little on edge. Did he know I was lying? "Chon, we were running over more summit plans."

    "Xen, don't fucking lie to me!" he shouted. My little brother was never the type to lose his cool with me. So naturally I panicked and thought, 'he must know'. But I waited for him to give me some form of confirmation before I confessed my sins away.

    "Xen, you'll be pleased to know your dirty little secret's out!"

    The game was up.

    "You let yourself get filmed by none other than Charlie!" Chon shrieked. "Remember me whining about him for the past few years, eh? And the Weasel's already passed the file to Dieng and the big bosses. It's fucking trending, Xen and everyone will know by sunrise! Mùqīn - Suki - everyone! They're also forcing me to break this farce with an inside angle, or I get the chop."

    "Oh, right," I said. In the seconds that followed, I thought about my cousin, Suki. My loyal mother. And my father who'd recently passed. I thought about how ashamed they'd be and how they'd probably condemn me like Chon and everyone else. As my mind raced for an escape, so did my blood pressure, and it caused the hybrid substance in my system to surge. Suddenly, I felt woozy, too, which only allowed me to spout back in short bursts. "But. I paid off the doorman. The pimp, too," I managed. "Every time. I paid them. He guaranteed my anonymity."

    Chon scrunched his face over the beamed-out holoscreen, his disgust evident. "Well, you're a damn fool to trust some back-alley hustler, and you're saying you did it more than once?"

    "Yes, but-"

    "-Xen," he interjected, "how many times?"

    I hesitated again. If I remembered, I would have told another lie. But I didn't remember. I also knew why I was being asked. I was the man who was always meant to set an example for Chon and I'd utterly failed him and fallen from grace. "A few times? Or maybe, more than a few?" I shared. Feeling a true sense of shame, I hung my head.

    "You can't recall?" he pressed. "So basically, multiple times."

    Other than being quiet, I didn't know what to do with myself. Meanwhile, Chon had plenty more to say. "Great, brilliant, and they can't have come cheap. So, I'll guess Bada Hutong whores and trying to kill yourself on Devil's Demise are what you've been spending your inheritance on, eh?" He ground his teeth while waiting for my answer.

    "You're still drunk, too and high as a dragon kite," he added. "Your pupils couldn't be more dilated! Oh, how fùqīn would be so proud - and tell me - what the hell has treating girls as ashtrays got to do with you mourning him, eh? What is wrong with you? Xen, what is fucking wrong with you?"

    I had no excuse. Still, I tried to justify my actions. "Chon, hang on a second, please! Look, I know my actions don't make any sense! But that's because my head's been all over the place since he d-died! Despite it, I had the owner's word! There's no way Charlie could've filmed me. It was a secure room!"

    "A secure room with an old spyhole, no doubt! And you're an idiot!" Chon blasted. "A pimp would sell out anyone if they had the means to get away with it! I just can't believe you. His ashes are probably still warm in their urn! Why on earth would you do this to us? Xiōngdi, why would you do this to the spirit of fùqīn?"

    I broke eye contact again and continued to burn inside with embarrassment.

    "You are spineless," he grimaced. "Do you know that? What will Traditionalists think? What will your superiors think? Fuck, Xen! Aren't you even worried Ming might have to fire you over this shit?"

    Of course, I was.

    Including the support of our president, we'd all sacrificed too much to have our work undone at this point. I'd sacrificed too much - years in fact. But I'd given in to weakness. Trying to fill the silent void, I cleared my throat, but it didn't stay that way.

    "Xen, how are you going to fix this? Come on, talk!" Chon pushed.

    I'd twitched a little, maybe still coming down from the dangerous high of 'Devil's Demise', the infamous, 'Daredevil'. "I don't, know," I managed.

    "What did you say?"

    "I don't know, Chon, I do not know! But I'll figure something out."

    "Well, you better," he said. It wasn't like Chon to issue threats either. But because of me, he was hurting and badly. "Xen, pull every string you can, because as of now, I see no way The Solution will be going ahead, whatever it is."

    He was almost right, but I wasn't going to let that happen... "Chon, I think I should go. I need to process all this, and com-link mùqīn, see if anyone's gotten to her y-yet. Her A.I.S.U can't be everywhere at once."

    "Oh, now you're scared?" he teased. "It's a shame you didn't think of her - or her Security Unit before you walked into the whorehouse and I won't be surprised if she's already dropped dead from watching your shame! You've remembered nothing he taught us! You're less than a man-"

    Chon was interrupted by a flashing light, and for a brief lapse in time, I felt relief. His last point really hit home. I had forgotten much of what our patriarch taught - but not everything... While Chon looked about himself, I had another thought. 'Things might have to get a lot worse before they got better'.

    I knew what I had to do. In order to reach my end goals, I planned to embrace volition and make guarantees and promises on things which might not even come to pass. And, for the first time in a long while, I leaped into the unknown with my eyes closed.