"Keeping you as a trainee is useless because you are basically our ace and have the skills to even debut as a soloist, so I wanted you to join the girls of ResQ."
*To read this book you don't need to read the previous two as you will be able to unde...
Although we had already done a few concerts, this one was nothing like the previous ones. It was the last one before going back to Korea but it was the first one after all that had happened, so we weren't too sure how to handle things.
We had thought about teasing Deja Vu to the fans but, in the end, we decided to stick to the original set we had created as we weren't ready yet to perform it and we all wanted to be in our best condition to do so. We wouldn't be showing something that we thought wasn't fully ready when we weren't comfortable with it.
Leah's parents would be joining us at that time and, since we wanted Leah to see them before the concert, they joined us backstage as we prepared for everything. They could only speak Spanish and Thai, so I couldn't really communicate with them at all; only Leah and Lin could. I had actually studied Spanish at school for about two years in the United Kingdom, but I could remember pretty much nothing at all.
Since I hadn't been really talking that much, to begin with, it didn't really seem to stand out that I barely even tried to talk to Leah's parents. We also were all preparing for the concert, so they didn't find it rude that we weren't with them all of the time because they knew we were working and that, for good or for bad, came first.
"What were today's covers, in the end?" Lin asked as the stylists did the last minute check-ups.
"Nu'est's «Bet» and Alix's masterpiece for TXT «Run Away»," Soojin said with a big smile. "Seriously, Alix, it is amazing!"
"Thank you," I said shyly. "I worked very hard with the boys to make sure to show something good."
"Well, it seemed to work!" she told me. "I saw an interview the other day on the plane to Japan where they talked about you without saying your name. The leader was talking about how they worked with a young producer that really made them engage in the whole composing and production area as well as showed them how fun it can be. I don't know his name, sorry."
"Soobin really said that?" I asked her. "I haven't watched it. I should check that interview and thank him."
"Why haven't you still revealed you are a producer and composer, though?" Leah asked me.
"Well, I don't think I'm ready for the world to know yet. SM may have the right of every song I created for them, but my name is still on the composer list since the songs were released before I signed the other contract with them. If I tell everyone that I am «Gate to heaven», everyone will know I was a composer in SM," I told her. "It's far more complicated than just saying I am the person behind those tracks."
"I see..." Leah said understandingly. "Still, I think you should say it sometime. I mean, you do you, but that's what I think."
I knew she was right, but I still wasn't ready. I had to be confident before doing that and I wasn't there yet. Revealing it would have to wait, although hopefully not for long.
"Girls, to the stage!" a staff member told us.
As always, we then did a group cheer with the staff, Yeongjae and Leah's parents before running to the stage so the concert could start.
ººº
I was somehow finding it very hard to concentrate on stage that day. There were so many people there that it made me feel kind of dizzy but I tried to push that feeling back and perform as best as I could. I wasn't on my best state, but I at least was trying very hard to be as close to it as possible.
We had performed «Bet» during the first half of the concert and we had decided to leave «Run Away» for the second half. We had just been talking to the fans and doing small games, so our clothes were also quite comfortable and that would help us with the whole thing since the dance was pretty tiring.
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Although I had been quite comfortable wearing just about anything during the previous concerts I had asked the stylist to let me wear long trousers back again for that concert with the excuse of having a few bruises on my legs (that I actually had). On the other hand, I had been wearing a very revealing white blouse for the whole talking part that was making me really uncomfortable and I kept fixing it in place, so I wasn't that confident about dancing with it. The stylists backstage seemed to have noticed and, right before we performed, they handed me a leather jacket so I wore it over it and it and was more comfortable.
Apart from Soojin, since she was the rapper, the rest of us had been assigned each of the members by drawing a paper from a hat, so we just went along with what he had gotten. We actually liked how it turned out, so we didn't mind it that much.
Although the song was very upbeat and all, the lyrics were actually pretty meaningful to me. It was a song about turning all of the bad feelings into good ones with that special someone, so it was pretty fitting with the situation. I had to try very hard to not think about the lyrics too much so I didn't overthink, but I found myself, just as during the plane when I composed, almost not realising we were performing and completely out of it. Sure, I still danced and sung my parts, but everything around me didn't seem to be real and it was almost as if I was in a dream.
After we finished performing, the crowd erupted into cheers and I was slightly startled as I came back to my senses. My head actually hurt a little but I paid no mind to it and fake-smiled to the fans to pretend I was okay.
"Our juniors really are something else!" Leah joked as she recovered her breath. "This song is so intense!"
"You are just an old lady!" Lin joked back and Leah hit her.
"Don't fight, girls!" Mika said but chuckled. "This next song..."
