Stay - Stray Kids Han Jisung FF (RESQ SAGA PART 3)

31.

"Wait, what?!" He exclaimed. "What did you just say?"

"What you heard, Jisung," Lin said this time. "JYP thinks that if the fans think that you are together then they will be more likely to listen to the song and possibly buy the album. It's pure marketing."

I then saw him turning towards Soojin with sad eyes and that almost literally broke my heart. No matter what he still would always go back to Soojin. He wasn't over her and I stood no chance with him whatsoever. I needed to stop myself from developing even stronger feelings for him. I had to give up on unrequited feelings.

"I won't do it," Jisung said. "I don't want to lie to the fans and pretend that we are something we aren't!"

"Well, say that to JYP," Mika told him. "Believe me, Alix tried to cancel all of this nonsense already for the sake of both of you but he just won't listen. He really thinks it's the best for us if we really want to get a first win. According to him, a scandal like this will get people talking about us and it could possibly lead to a first win for us."

I could see how frustrated he was after that and I could really understand why. On the one hand, he still liked Soojin and didn't want to be involved in a lie that would only distance them even more, but, on the other, he wanted to do it because it meant we could get a first win.

"Alix, can we talk alone, please?" he said. 

I thought we would go to one of the rooms, but he instead walked out of the house and I had to almost run to catch him as he was almost running down the hall and downstairs to my dorm.

When we reached it, he waited for me to open the door and immediately headed inside, sitting down on the couch and running his fingers through his hair.

"Jisung, if you-" I tried to say but he interrupted me.

"What do you want to do?" he asked me. "Answer honestly. What do you want to do? Do you want to go forward with this or refuse?"

"I truly don't know," I answered and sat down on the opposite side of the couch. "I know that you don't want to do this because of Soojin and-"

"Don't bring Soojin up now. This is a problem between both of us. No Soojin is involved in this issue. I asked you what you think, not what you think I think," he said almost angrily. "I honestly don't give a single damn about Soojin right now, I only want to know what you have to say about all of this."

That indeed was a good question. I really didn't want us to get a first win because of a scandal and not because of our talent; our first win shouldn't be built up around a lie. On the other hand, if it really did help, it would really help us and that was something I couldn't ignore.

"I... I think we shouldn't do it," I told him. "I don't want our first win to be built around a lie."

"If you are sure of it, then so be it," he said moving to sit beside me. "And please, don't try to guess what I am thinking. Only I can know what goes on inside my head."

"Sorry..." I apologised but didn't really understand what he tried to say. "Shall we go back up with the rest now?"

I then tried to stand up but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back down beside him.

"Can... Can I talk to you about something first?" he said.

"Sure, what's wrong?" I asked him worried.

"I... I think I'm starting to get over Soojin. This time for real," he said and I looked at him shocked. "Just before, when you told me about what JYP said, I just didn't seem to mind it. Even when I looked at her it was just like when I looked at Mika, Lin or Leah."

"T-that's good news, right?" I said not knowing how to address the issue. "You wanted that, didn't you?"

"Yes, you are right..." he said softly. "I guess I didn't need anyone else to get over her, in the end."

Hearing him say that so nonchalantly felt like he stabbed me with a very thin yet poisoned blade. I really needed to get over him as soon as possible if I didn't want to get hurt.

"I knew you could do it. You are far stronger than you think," I told him faking a smile.

"Thank you, Alix," he said and suddenly kissed my cheek. "For everything you have done for me in just a few months. Thank you."

Don't make this even harder for me, Han Jisung.

ººº

After telling the boys and girls our decision, they seemed to agree with us, so I quickly informed Yeongjae and he told me not to worry and that he would handle all of it. I was eternally grateful for it as I simply couldn't say no to JYP no matter how much I tried. 

"Alix, can you reach the kimbap from there?"  Soojin said with a smile while handing me the plate. "I haven't seen you eating any."

"It's just I'm not that hungry," I told her.

"We aren't blind idiots, Alix. Eat that flipping kimbap already," Soojin said turning very serious. 

"Soojin, don't be insensitive," Mika scolded her. "Alix, if there is something troubling you, you can tell us. We have been noticing that you eat very little, is everything okay?"

I had always thought they hadn't noticed but I guess I was completely wrong. They were the type to not step in until they found it absolutely necessary.

"Alix, I'm going to ask you something and I want you to be honest with us because I'm just asking it for your own good," Mika said calmly. "How much do you weigh?"