My Reason To Be (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 31: Don't care about all the pain in front of me, I just wanna be happy

YOU. ARE. ALL. SO. FREAKING. AWESOME. I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH FEEDBACK I GOT!! OMG I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH. AND THAT'S WHY I GOT THE CHAPTER OUT AS FAST AS I CAN! SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SHOW ME LOVE?!! EACH OF THOSE COMMENTS (EVEN THE ONE WORDS ONES HHAHAHA) WAS AMAZING AND MADE ME FREAK OUT. MY PHONE WAS WITH ME ALL THE TIME SO I CAN GET THOSE EMAILS! IM SO HAPPY THIS FANBASE IS GROWING! THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU GUYS. IM CRYING! THANK YOU!!

THIS CHAPTER IS VERY IMPORTANT. PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. YOU KNOW THE RULES. THE MORE YOU TELL ME THE FASTER IT GETS OUT! JUST LOOK AT THIS EXAMPLE! 2 DAYS, TWO CHAPTERS!! I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY IT! OH AND ALSO... THE MORE COMMENTS, THE SOONER THE UPDATE... THE SOONER WHAT YOU ALL WANT TO HAPPEN HAPPENS ;)

JUST SAYING ;) 

CHARLOTTE POV

I looked back on the day as I lay in bed, completely exhausted both physically and mentally. It certainly did not feel like all of this happened this morning. After Zayn and I ‘fixed’ things, we all went out to eat with Danielle and Eleanor, but the reason why I put quotes around fix is because it wasn’t the same. It was like there was n invisible barrier separating us and I could still see the hurt in his eyes when he talked to me. Even his smile wasn’t genuine. It was more like the ones you see in pictures from their photoshoots. I guess when I chose that invisible rope connecting me to Matt, I also chose that barrier.

I knew he was trying though, but I guess the pain outweighed his ability to go back to being friends with me like before. And it was all my fault. And what made it suck even more was the fact that I couldn’t cal anyone for advice, like my mum or Ella, because I knew they would tell me to choose Zayn. Any moron with half a brain would tell me that. I hated being so Goddamn dependent. The old me would have had no issue choosing Zayn. In fact, the old me wouldn’t in any way be with Matt still. I missed the old me. It was funny how I said Zayn made me feel like the old me again, but it was the new me that was stopping me from being with him. Ugh, my brain hurts.

I turned over and tried to fall asleep, the sound of Harry, Louis, and Eleanor’s laughs from the lounge the last things I heard.

My breathing was growing shallow as I lay pressed against the hardwood floor. I could hear my heart beating in my ears, a throbbing that wouldn’t stop. Everything in my vision was spinning and fogging as if I was going in and out of consciousness. But I wasn’t. I was fully awake. I could hear them walking around me. Hear little parts of their conversation deciding what was next in their plan. A tried to lift my head, but I just couldn’t. I moved my legs, but it was as if a dead weight was pushed on top of them, planting me to the floor. I warm stickiness was developing around me, my bare arms and legs feeling the liquid pool beneath me. I wanted to scream, I wanted to do anything but just lay here. I wanted my mum. I wanted Harry. Ella. Matt. Anyone to come and save me. I could feel footsteps.. more footsteps until a weight was right beside me. Everything was silent again before I saw the large outline of a figure above me. They leaned down, their face growing closer until I was able to make it out through the fogginess. His green and blue eyes glowed in the darkness and I could make out a small smirk on his lips. I tried to say his name, to beg and plead for help. But when he reached behind him and pulled out a silver pistol, all my breath was gone and my heart stopped cold. What was he doing? Before anything else the mindnumbing sound of the second gunshot of the night went off.

 

“Charlotte! CHARLOTTE!” A loud screaming overpowered my name being repeated over and over frantically.

My eyes snapped open and it was then that I realized I was the one screaming. My breathing was erratic, chest rising and falling drastically as I tried to take in more air. It felt like I was breathing through a straw.