My Reason To Be (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 22: So it goes without saying that I'm hooked on you..

HII!! I'M SO HAPPY WITH ALL THE FEEDBACK, YOU GUYS!! YOU MAKE ME WANT TO KEEP WRITING, IT'S INSANE!! THIS CHAPTER IS EXTRA LONG FOR ALL OF YOU!! HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!!

RECAP:

 “So do you promise to call me whenever you need me? No matter what I’m doing?” He leaned forward and gave me an “I’m not kidding” look which only ended up being a raise of his dark eyebrow and pursing of his lips.

I nodded, “I promise, I just hate being weak, but if you’re going to make me stronger I’ll do it”

His finger rested below my chin, his hand still wet from the rain outside. “Like I said, it doesn’t make you weak. I don’t think you’re even capable of being weak. I’m not saying call me so I can give you strength- you already have so much of that. I’m saying call me so I can remind you of that.”

I breathed out, leaning my head forward so it was resting against his. I closed my eyes and inhaled his comforting scent. I didn’t even know what was happening, I just needed to be close to him.

“Because even superman has his kryptonite.” He whispered, his hot breath hitting my face.

And God, I think I just found mine. My heart was going a million miles a minute and I had no idea what was happening when I looked up to him. His gaze was so intense, eyes set right on me, not even blinking. Through the dim light from outside I could see the small green flecks in them almost move in his liquidy iris. And then the barely there distance between us closed when he leaned down, pressing his lips onto mine.

--

My eyes fluttered closed at the soft pressure against my mouth. It was simple and so sweet. My mind was sent into a frenzy as I held onto his shirt, pulling him closer. His lips were as soft as they looked, maybe even better;  they moved slowly and smoothly against mine. When his hand came around behind my head, it was like an electric shock. What was I doing?

I pulled away, our lips making a small smacking noise as they left each other. His eyes were still closed when I opened mine but they quickly opened soon after. A small smile tilted his mouth to the right and I wanted to just do it all again. But I couldn’t.

“Zayn, you shouldn’t have done that” I whispered, biting my lip. I could still taste him on me. Like peppermint, coffee, and a hint of cigarettes.

I felt him breathe out, the smell of his breath even more intoxicating now that I had tasted it. He bit his lower lip, it disappearing completely in his mouth.  I inwardly groaned at how ridiculously sexy he was without even being aware of what he was doing to me.

“I wanted to” His voice was low but clear as he kept his eyes set on the console between us.

And those three words made something snap inside me. Without a second thought, I cupped his cheek and leaned forward, taking his lips again. He eagerly responded, his mouth moving harder than before against mine. I felt his hand go back to my head where he pushed me against him. My arms wound around his neck and I also pulled him closer. His taste was already becoming addictive to me. Even the cigarettes didn’t bother me.  I could feel his other hand sliding down to my waist, holding me tightly in place.

I wasn’t thinking. At least with my brain, that’s for sure. At that moment I just wanted to be with Zayn. To feel him close and be in his protective arms. And I knew that made me a bad person. And a horrible girlfriend. And you probably have every right to judge me. But you must understand that Zayn gave me something nobody had ever given me since the incident. And that was the ability to feel like the person I was before it all. To feel content and safe and not a weight on anyone. He gave me feelings in my heart that I couldn’t possibly ignore. Feelings that, I know, I shouldn’t be having for any other guy but Matt… Matt. Matt.. my boyfriend. The thought of him so clearly in my mind made a heavy feeling of guilt set into my stomach. Even with Zayn’s mouth devouring mine, I couldn’t shake it off. I was doing exactly what Matt had been insinuating. Before I thought him so ridiculous for even thinking such things, but maybe I’m the bad person in the relationship. Maybe it was me..