My Reason To Be (Zayn Malik)

Deleted Scene #1: Wires

A sudden idea came to me. So I hope you missed Charlie and Harry, because I know I sure have. Enjoy this deleted scene xx

Inspired by "Wires" by Athlete

A resounding beep acts as a metronome, entering through the empty parts of my mind and awakening it from the darkness. My eyelids are heavy, heavier than they ever were, as though they are stuck together. The white plane in front of me appears in a patchy blur as I use up all the energy I can to open my eyes. It’s too bright. The overhead light invading my pupils and making my head throb. And then the rest of the pain sets in. Like my entire body is being pushed under a bulldozer, my bones aching and my flesh stretched over them. It all hurts and it’s an unbearable pain.

“Oh my God. Oh my God.” A sob comes from my side and I do all that I can to turn towards my mother’s voice.

A whimper falls from my lips when the pain intensifies. I don’t have to move to see her because she’s now hovering over me. Her face is washed out, hair pulled high into a messy pile. Eyes are bloodshot and tears are flowing freely.

“My baby, oh my baby,” she continues to sob, leaning over me and kissing all over my face. “Nurse! Nurse!” She shouts, picking up something from the bed and pressing on it.

A hospital. I’m in a hospital. That’s the beep and that’s why it’s white everywhere. It all comes back, each painful moment. The glass shattering, the whispers, the sound of the gunshot that repeats over and over again until I’m sobbing as well.

“Shh shh, you’re okay. No baby, you’re okay.” Mum wipes at my tears. “You’re going to be just fine.”

“Mum..” My voice is hoarse and barely audible , “It hurts.”

She holds my face between her hand and plants kisses son my forehead, her own cries, mixing in with mine.

“I know, they’re going to fix it all better. I promise.”

A doctor and a nurse walk in and they begin speaking to me, but I can’t hear them. What day is it? What happened to me?

“How’s that?”

I’m snapped from wayward thoughts and look to the doctor who’s holding up my leg beneath the sheet. And I’m instantly in a panic because she may as well not be in the room at all. I can’t feel it. I wouldn’t have know she was touching me if she hadn’t have asked. In fact, the only thing I can feel stops right at my thighs. It’s all pain and then heaviness. My breathing becomes erratic and the heart monitor goes berserk.

“Charlie, it’s okay!” The doctor approaches my side. “Take deep breaths.”

“It’s okay, angel, you’re going to be perfect, it’s okay.” Mum smoothes my hair back and repeats it like a mantra as the doctor pushes an oxygen mask onto my face.

I’m lightheaded immediately, but the heart monitor goes back to its metronome rhythm just before everything returns to black.

--

It’s been four days since I’ve woken up and over a week since the incident. Police came in for questioning and relatives came and went, filling my once bland room with flowers and balloons. Ella and mum have refused to leave my side and without them I’m not sure what could have happened to me being here. Especially since I’ve lost my ability to walk. I haven’t quite learned to cope with it all. They’ve given me depression medication but I can’t tell if it’s working. Am I not supposed to be sad at all? Or is it that without it I would be more of a complete and utter mess? Who knows. All that’s for sure is all my dreams were destroyed in the same amount of time it takes to pull a trigger.

Matt has yet to show his face. And again, maybe it’s the depression medication that’s making me accept that. Or maybe I just don’t care anymore now that I have larger issues. Issues he probably has no idea about.

Ella and Mum kept a happy face for me, though. But sometimes when I pretended to sleep I can hear them whisper to each other about how worried they are.

The only good thing that’s been like a shining light over this is Harry making it through with the rest of the other boys in the band. It’s now down to the final six acts and it’s been decided that he will not find out about this until the absolute latest. Which was this morning. He’d been in the dark about this the whole time and was getting suspicious when I stopped answering calls or texting him as I usually did every minute of the day. So mum had to tell him. And I wasn’t quite ready to see him. Whenever that may be. In a way I’m  glad the show is taking up all his time. Then he didn’t have to see me like this. Even though I know my twin is exactly who I need right now.

“You ready to watch a movie, darling?” Mum walks in holding up several DVDs in hand.

I put on my best smile and nod, using my arms to scoot over so she can have room on the bed. She gets it ready and slides in beside me, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me to rest my head on her chest. I don’t last very long into the movie, my morphine making me sleep most of my day away.

I wake to hushed whispers. Ella’s back from rehearsal. It was always a telltale sign of her arrival, those whispers. Blinking my eyes, I adjust against to the God awful light that they have dimmed significantly but still hurts my sensitive eyes.

“Charlotte”

The deep voice makes the heart monitor spasm again and I turn to it, gasping and immediately sobbing the minute I see him. He’s paler just like Mum, hair pushed back no doubt from running his fingers through it so much. Green eyes identical to mine are glassy and the moment our meets, tears a flowing freely down his cheeks.

“Oh my God” He breathes out, taking wide steps from the doorway. He’s full on sobbing by the time he reaches my bed and without another second, he’s slipping in beside me, arms gathering me. His shoulder absorbs my groan of pain, but I hold him tight, ignoring it. His body shakes against me, tears sliding onto my neck.

“How can this happen. How can this happen....” He repeats over and over against me. 

His hug is the most comfort I’ve found in the past week. We don’t let go for some time and that’s exactly what I’ve needed all along.

An hour later finds us still in the bed, him telling me everything that I didn’t already know about the show. I can’t help but notice that despite how funny or exciting the stories may be, he’s not smiling.

“What’s the matter, Harry?” I pat his leg.

He sighs, resting his hand on mine before immediately lifting it, face contorting like he’s in pain.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be making this harder for you.”

I shake my head “You’re not. If anything you’re making this easier. I’m really glad you’re here, Harry.”

He smiles softly and pulls me into his chest. “That’s why I’m dropping out of the show.”

In a flash I pull away from him. “What? Of course you’re not!”

“Char” He sighs, “I can’t leave you. Not like this. I can’t.”

I pull away from him, sick to my stomach. He can’t let go of a dream like this. This one in a million experience. Not for me.

“Harry. No you’re not.”

“Char—“

“No. The only good thing in my life right now if that I know one of the people I adore most in this world.. his dreams are coming true right before my eyes.”

He looks down at me, eyes glazing all over again. “You’re something else, you know that?”

“You need to win this thing, Harry. I’m so happy you’re here. But you need to go back. Make me happy and make me proud, okay?”

He nods and I lean into him, wrapping my arms around his body and wincing when I strain my back. “Promise me.”

He looks down at me and wipes a tear off. “Okay. I promise, Tiny.”

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