Anything You Ask Of Me: Jordan Knight

35. [Cloudy thoughts☁︎]

"You can't say that" she said as her eyes widened. "Say what?" He responded as his eyes softened. "That you're falling in love " she clarified as she hugely sighed. "Of course I can, if I feel it already, and I do" Jordan assured her. Overwhelmed, Ava took a few steps back and looked at him in astonishment. "I especially don't just say I love you like it's nothing," she said as her eyes scanned over his face. "Neither do I " he agreed. "Jordan, don't put this on me please". Ava begged softly. "What do you mean baby?" He questioned her.
" I can't say it back" she admitted and looked at the ground as if she was ashamed. Jordan eyebrows furrowed but he understood. "I don't know what that is yet, I mean what we have is surreal, it's amazing but I honestly don't know if I love you yet" she explained as she swallowed hard. That kinda hurt, however, Ava was barely figuring out the ropes of a relationship and this was something she clearly wasn't prepared for. However, Jordan knew that eventually, she would say it back. He would much rather prefer her saying it voluntarily than to say it feeling compelled to. "It's ok baby, I don't expect you to say it back, but I wanted you to know that I can't wait till the day you finally do, I want it to be like a slap to the face" he said making a small chuckle erupt from her. "I'll make sure you won't see it coming" she joked and he nodded. Ava stopped for a moment, to just admire her beau. Although he had his faults, she was nobody to judge him. She appreciated that he was honest with her, it must've have been hard to confess this. "So you're not mad at me?" He asked her.
"No" she answered while shaking her head. "I'm not fond of it but I'm not gonna hold that against you, that was your life and I wasn't in it during that time". "But you're here and that changes everything" he responded as he softly pulled her in by her waist. Their bodies were now several centimeters away. Ava sighed in contentment as Jordan gazed deeply into her eyes.

Ava felt like the ground beneath her crumbled and in its spot, a cloud, supported her weight. She was falling very hard for the guy with the dreamy chocolate brown eyes but she refused to accept it. For she didn't know what toll this new feeling would take from her. When Jordan kissed her, she became vulnerable. All her guard disappears and she surrenders herself at his mercy. She can only imagine what hold Jordan will have on her entirely when he gets to all the crevices that she had been keeping to herself. "Ready to go baby?" he asks as he softly strokes her cheek, tucking a loose piece of hair behind her ear. "Yeah, I'm kind of sleepy already" Ava agreed.

♡♡♡

Inside the car, Ava laid her head on Jordan's shoulder as he drove them back to her house. Ava liked being this close to him, this way, she could inhale his sweet yet masculine scent. Jordan looked down at her, smiling at the realization that her light brown eyes have fluttered shut. He adored how soft and fragile Ava became during her sleeping state. He focused back on the road, allowing himself to be guided by the bright lit headlights. Suddenly, awful thoughts began to cloud his mind. The guys and he had already decided to write another album. From the looks of it, it seemed like it would be their last but they hoped that it can be proven otherwise. Jordan was afraid that Ava would eventually get tired of his absence but the other part of him knew how understanding she was. And in the back of his mind, where problems had accumulated, he thought about what Heidi said. Over the time that they had agreed to become 'friends with benefits' or 'fuck buddies', Heidi had grown clingy and nearly possessive of Jordan. This had caused problems to rise, to which were never really addressed as when Jordan tried to break things off, Heidi had drawn him in with lust and eventually wrapped him around her finger. At that point in his life, he was stumbling and falling for desire.

A/N: Brownie points for whoever can guess what song that pun is from (:

He grew tired of meaningless sex and as after deciding to give it all up entirely, he knew he would miss it. Now he was reflecting back on the horrible few months that he had lived through with that nightmare dressed as a human. How on earth did he agree to that? He knew he was way better than that. He had needs, he couldn't deny that but now it was over. However, when his eyes laid upon Ava's, he knew that things happened for a reason. Ava saw him as a person, whilst Heidi only saw him as a 'good time'. A new year, meant new opportunities, a chance to reinvent yourself to discover what life has to offer after you made too many mistakes to keep up with. What are the odds that he had met and kissed Ava at the stroke of midnight?

Jordan was turning 22 this year, and he intended to grow as a person physically and most importantly, mentally. Settling down was not even an option that he had thought about just yet, but now, it had been roaming around in his mind all because of Ava. Stability was something he wanted, but he didn't want to feel smothered by it. Sooner or later, New Kids On The Block would be a no go, and the guys would eventually find their own paths, maybe get married, start a family, who knows? In the back of his mind, this had always haunted Jordan.

♡♡♡

Once arriving at Ava's, Jordan had softly whispered in her ear to wake her up. Ava's eyes deliberately opened and smiled lazily as she realized it was her beau who's voice echoed in her ear. "Already?" she said as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. The sight was too adorable for Jordan to handle, thus he couldn't resist but to place a loving kiss on her forehead. "Yes baby, now hurry up, it's cold, I don't want you to get sick" he responded sweetly. "Mmm-kay," she says before sitting up and reaching for her bag. "I don't know if I'll be able to see you tomorrow" Jordan says, a tight line forming on his lips after speaking. "Aww, that's ok, I understand, you don' t have to spend every waking hour with me, you have your life and I have mine" she replies and smiles reassuringly. "Thanks for understanding baby, but don't get the wrong idea that I'm gonna put you to the side and forget about you, I'm always gonna be thinking about you even if we're not together," Jordan says and her cheeks instantly flush. "Likewise Jordan" she responds and kisses his cheek. "Hey hey," Jordan murmured as she tries to open the door. "What?" she says as her hand remained on the handle. He smiled as then crashed his lips onto hers, Ava's grip on the handle loosened and eventually had a mind of its own, as she reached to cup his face. She could never get enough of his kisses, they had a way of making everything go away and every time she felt them, she knew she would miss them if god forbid, something or someone happened to ruin what they had.

SORRY FOR THE SHORT CHAPTER :((

THANK YOUUUU FOR READING!♥︎

LETS HOPE FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER TONIGHT. ☾