Green Eyed Monster

155

(I'm kinda missing all the comments right now, someone love me!! 😭💔)

£ Cassy

I walk into english class, the first class I have with Dean. He's been skipping lately, his attendance is horrible. He is at risk of failing this semester. I know it's all my fault though and that's okay. I just really fucking miss him.

"Okay, class, take out your journals and write the notes down that are on the board." The professor says. "Ah, Dean Winchester. You finally decided to come to class."

My heart stalls its beating for a few moments. I turn my head slightly, seeing Dean. He looked exhausted, bags under his eyes, puffy face, blotchy skin, bloodshot eyes. Hangover probably. The beating comes back to my chest, faster than ever as he stares at the back of my head. I can feel his eyes burning into the back of my skull.

"Castiel, notes, now." The professor tells me.

I nod nervously and start searching my bookbag for a journal. Frustration filling me as I couldn't find it. Turning around, I see Dean looking at me still. I ignore it and go back to searching for my non existent journal. "JESUS CHRIST!" I yell, throwing my bookbag.

"Castiel!" Professor shouts.

"Fuck you!" I stand up and storm out of the class. People were staring at me and whispering.

I get outside of the building, seeing the sidewalk and start walking home. Tears brimming my eyes and my heart beating roughly.

"Cas!?" Dean calls from behind me.

I start to cry softly, holding myself as I continue to walk. 

"Cas, wait."

"Go away, Dean!" I shout without turning around.

"Please, Cas, stop."

"Why!?" I yell. "Dean, why!?"

"Because!"

"Because what, Dean? Because you said so!?"

"Yes, because I said so!"

"You're not the boss of me!"

"Cas!" He shouts, grabbing me roughly a few moments later. Turning me around.

"Let me go!" I snap, punching him in the chest.

His hands grip mine, squeezing them. Pain courses through me as he crushes my hands.

"Dean, stop. That hurts."

"I told you to stop. I need to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk, Dean." I try pulling my hands away, his grip only getting tighter. "Dean..." I wince.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for the last couple weeks. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for everything."

"You said your apologies, now let me go."

"I'm not finished. Tell me why you poisoned yourself."

"I didn't."

"Cas, we all fucking know you did, stop lying and tell me."

"No."

"Tell me!"

"BECAUSE I'M WORTHLESS, OKAY!? I'M NOTHING!"

He shoves me back. "Don't you dare say that!" He shouts. "Don't you fucking dare!"

"You're the one that wanted me to feel what you feel, Dean. Well, I fucking do now! I can't do this anymore! I just want it all to end!"

"Shut up!" He gets in my face.

"Or what!?" I yell back.

He glares at me, face turning red in anger. "I will make you regret it."

"Here we go again with the threats." I roll my eyes. "Just like your fucking father." A punch lands against my nose.

"Don't you ever compare me to that bastard again!"

I feel my lip, blood on my fingers when I pull away. Rage fills me again and I find myself tackling Dean on the ground. My fist connecting to his face multiple time before he flips us over, pinning me to the ground.

"Stop!" He shouts.

I fight against his grip, shouting at him.

"STOP!" He slams my arms into the ground roughly. "CAS!"

I give up, not able to find the strength to fight Dean anymore. My breathing heavy as sobs come out of my mouth.

"Are you calm?"

"Fuck off."

He rolls off, laying down on the ground beside me, us both panting at the stupid fight we just had. "Cas, I'm sorry."

"Please, just don't talk to me right now." I cover my face with my hands, crying hard.

"Cas-"

"Dean! Don't!"

"Fine."