What Lies Within Us.

146: Deal.

Lindsay's P.O.V.

I was sitting on the front porch just thinking about a little bit of everything when Raes came up and sat beside me.

I hadn't talked to him at all since he woke up.

"Is there a reason why you've been avoiding me?" He asked.

"No." I replied. "Even if there was, why would you care?"

"In all honesty, I wouldn't. I know thats kind of a douchebag thing to say but hey, that's me, king douchebag."

"That you are..."

"Next question..." He began, "Is there a reason why you're still not with Milo?"

I looked at him like he was crazy.

"Yes there is in fact a reason. Its because I'm in love with your stupid ass."

"I sense a bit of anger and irritation..."

"Maybe because you got me knocked up then pulled the 'I can't be with you' card."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't think you'd get attatched like this. I've always seen you as a hard to get kind of woman."

"Oh come on, you're River's brother. Every woman you come across gets attatched to you guys."

"Thats true I guess.... So, you're in love with me..."

"Unfortunately."

"But you also understand that I won't ever feel the same way towards you."

"Yep."

"Yet you're in love with Milo as well."

"Sounds about right."

"And even though he feels the same way about you, you just keep pushing him away."

I nodded my head.

"I don't understand Lindsay, why are you making things so complicated on yourself?" He asked. "I'm not an option for you. I'm sorry but I don't love you. Not in the way that you want to be loved."

Even though I was already aware of it, it stung like hell when he just bluntly confessed.

"That still doesn't make this any easier." I stated. "Even if I finally get over you, I'm still gonna have trouble making things official with Milo."

"Why's that?"

"Because, as stupid and whore-ish as it sounds, its not just you two that I'm in love with."

"Really? Who else?"

I hadn't told anyone this. Not even Cass or Jordan.

"Just like River and Cass, you never fall out of love with your first love." I said to him .