What Lies Within Us.

122: At Fault.

Cassidy's P.O.V.

I could tell he was hurting but he didn't want me to see it.

"Why are you just staring at me?" He asked as we all sat around the dinner table eating in near silence.

"No reason." I replied.

Riley looked back and forth between Parrish and I.

"Um... Is there something going on between you two?"

"No." We answered simultaneously.

Suddenly Parrish's phone began to ring as he quickly got up and took it out of his pocket.

"Excuse me, I have to take this." He said, walking out of the back door.

When he was gone my mom, dad, brothers, and nieces all turned to me.

"There's no way you two aren't screwing eachother." Riley stated. "He's acting weird."

"East, shut up." I demanded. "Why would you even assume that?"

"I wouldn't be surprised either." Said Danny.

"For one, that's honestly none of your business... Either of you. And two, he just lost his daughter a few days ago. Of course he's acting weird."

"No, its a different kind of weird." Said Camilla.

"What? Shush you don't even know what's going on right now." I said to her.

"No but I know what's going on between you and Parrish aka prince Hotness."

"Yep. Me too." Dakota added.

"Good lord can you all please just stop assuming things. You too mom and dad."

"What? We didn't say anything." Dad insisted.

"No but you gave me that look."

"What look?" Asked mom.

"Oh my god nevermind. I'm gonna go check on Parrish. See if he's okay." I replied as I got up from the table and made my way outside, feeling their eyes stare me down until I was completely out of the door.

Parrish was leaning against the railing of the patio with his head lowered and his hands clasped together.

I know he heard me come outside but he didn't react.

He simply stayed as he was with his eyes closed.

"You okay?" I asked.

"No." He replied which was the first time I'd ever heard him admit to not being okay. He was a lot like River, not really wanting people to worry about him. Always pretending to be fine. So hearing him say that was heartbreaking.

"Why not?" I asked as I walked up next to him.

He raised his head up and stared out into the backyard.

"One thing happens and I manage to maintain my emotions. Then another thing happens and though its a bit tougher, I still manage to keep myself together. And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse something else happens. It feels like my perseverance is being tested. My patience. I can't stay patient forever. I have a breaking point just as everyone else does.  I've never once reached that point yet. Not  when my wife left. Not even when Farah died. But life is really testing me now. My sanity feels like its slowly being stripped away from me. Its becoming harder and harder to keep myself together. I don't wanna reaching that breaking point because when I do I know for a fact that that'll be when I lose all hope.... but I feel it coming."