What Lies Within Us.

Chapter 81: The Other Side.

Jordan's P.O.V.

"Stop being a weak little chump Cassidy." I said to her as we took a stroll around the field. "You'll be fine."

"I know I will. Its just hard."

"Of course it is. It'll take some time."

"But I miss him already." She chuckled. "Wow I'm pathetic."

"Yea a little." I retorted as she punched my arm with full force.

"Ouch you twat waffle... I was kidding. Cass you two were like Bonnie and Clyde. Its gonna feel weird being away from him for a while but then one day you'll wake up and it won't be a problem. Dont give in and keep running back to him."

"J, I said that I'm done. I meant it. I'm not going back on my word. That doesn't mean I cant miss him."

"You're not going back on your word huh... So tell me, what if you start to miss him so much that you decide to go talk to him one day."

"Then I-"

"Wait, I'm not finished." I stated. "So you go see him then all of a sudden he starts sweet talking you like he does 80% of the time. He tells you everything you wanna hear... How much he loves you... How much he misses you... How much you mean to him... How much he messed up... How much he needs you in his life... What would you do? Would you give in then?"

"No..." She hesitantly said.

"Yes you would."

"No I wouldn't.."

"Cassie I know you better than you know yourself. River's your weakness. He can stare you in the eyes, put on that smirk of his, and make you do whatever he wants. You're completely defenseless when it comes to him."

"Then what the hell am I gonna do!?" She finally snapped. A look of desperation on her face. "You're right! I'm defenseless against him! I'm gonna break one day and give in! I'm not strong enough to be able to casually walk past him and not think about how much he means to me! I'm gonna hear his voice and start to cry...I'm gonna hear his laugh and start to cry... I'm gonna see his smile and start to cry... I'm gonna catch a glimpse of his eyes and start to cry... Hell just hearing his name is gonna make me cry...."

"Have you thought about leaving?"

"What?"

"You could move back to Colorado. Live with you parents for a while. Or with Riley in California. Or even move to D.C. and live with Danny."

"You really think that's my safest bet?"

"At this point, the Mezzarin is just as dangerous to be as anywhere else."

"My kids are here Jordan. I can't just up and leave."

"Your 'kids' aren't kids anymore. Elise is an adult. Logan's an adult. Rome's an adult. Gray's an adult. Meadow's an adult. Kaiser's an adult."

"Okay but Hudson isn't and he's in more danger than anyone here!"

"And that's what his dad is for! You know River wouldn't ever let anything happen to him. He'll watch over him. And Kaiser's hella protective of him too. Hudson's safe here."

"If I leave there'll always be a part of me that's paranoid something's gonna happen. I've missed out Hudson's entire childhood. I'm not leaving him again. And I'm not taking him with me because being in the outside world is just gonna get him killed. And I don't care how old my kids are. I'm not leaving them especially during a time like this where everyday could possibly be the last day I see them alive. I'm sure you understand J. Imagine if it were your kids... Payton's an adult. And Wesley just turned 19 not too long ago... Would you leave them in a time like this?"