Rising Star (Patrick Kane)

Chapter Twenty Six- Merry Little Christmas

Elizabeth

I find myself at my childhood farm out in the stables bundled up in the freezing cold with my guitar in hand. I sit under the barn with Sweetie by my side and just play a few chords. Snow falls softly outside but I sit next to the heater and my horse making me feel warm inside.

It was Christmas Day and I was home for the holidays. My parents and sister was inside cooking or cleaning for the rest of the family to come over soon and I asked to use the restroom about 20 minutes ago. But like always I find myself at the farm chilling with the animals enjoying nature. The ground covered in snow, it made everything look that much better. And although this Christmas was turning out to be a good one, I just had this feeling that it would be great if Patrick was here. Listening to him sing terribly to Christmas music and watch him hang Christmas lights. Do the things he does better than anyone else. I miss being able to hold him, tell him at any moment that I love him and that he means to world to me. It just sucks that I don't have the ability to do or say those things I need to him, and it sucks even more around the holidays when there is extra love to go around.

I strum some chords on my guitar and listen to the quiet part of Chicago for once. My parents always joke that since I found my musical inspiration on the farm that I should sing country, but I never did love country music. I liked R and B or soul, music with a purpose to reach out to everyone who has ever loved something or someone. That's where I found my inspiration, and that's how I want to inspire others.

"Memories of us dance around my head,
As I sit by myself on our empty bed.
It is more than just you that I am missing,
It's our love, it's our promises, it's the way we were kissing.

It's hard knowing this is the way things have to be,
You're everything I need and I miss you so badly.
All I know is that you should be here with me,
You love me and I love you and I wish I could be that easy.

But our dreams have us going down two different roads,
It's like I'm living my life just trying to break the codes.
My life without you is becoming all dark and grey,
The colors are all gone since you've been away.

I know you have to go but I feel like you should be here,
Lying next to me making all of this pain just disappear.
All I know is that you should be lying next to me,
You love me and I love you and I wish I could be that easy."

I let out a long sigh and clean up the tears that had fallen. Sweetie lets out a snort causing me to laugh and I pet her head.

"I know, sitting out here crying is not the best way to spend Christmas. But the heart wants what the heart wants, you know" I ask and she nods. I know she's a horse and can't understand English, but I swear she gets me.

"Elizabeth! Dinner is ready, get inside" my sister yells. I let out a sigh and pick up my guitar. I say goodbye to Sweetie and head back inside.

It was nice and warm and smelled sooo good. I place my guitar by the door and shed my coat before I sit down at the table. We say grace then dig into the food and having nice dinner concersation.

"How's Patrick doing" my dad asks.

"He's doing great. He leads the team in goals and assists even though he joined later than everyone else. He's where he belongs and it's obvious" I admit.

"You still really miss him huh" he asks.

"More than everything. It's nice to have my mind busy with the success of the band and everything that comes with that. But I know it would be better if he was there" I sigh. Suddenly I wasn't that hungry anymore.

"I get it sweetie, but who knows, with the new year coming up maybe there's change with it. Good change. You just gotta have faith" my mom says.

"I know momma" I smile. We change the subject and my family grills me about the music. I happily answer because I love talking about my team and how great they are. What makes his whole experience great is doing it with 7 other people just as passionate about making music as I am. 8 including Patrick.

I look across the table and see my sister picking at her food. I try to figure out why she never really liked me. I can feel she was jealous that this was her family and I was getting all the attention. But truth be told I hate attention. I'd rather just make the music and be done with it but that's not how things work, I get that. But she has it set in her mind that everything I do is to make her miserable but that's not how this goes. I just work hard and people appreciate it, that's how life works. And no matter what I do I can't get her to like me. I've tried but gave up on that long ago.

After dinner we sit down and open presents. I got a new saddle for Sweetie and a lot of clothes from my family. My dad places a small box in my lap and I look at him weirdly.

"It's from Santa" he winks and I smile at him. I tear into the box and see a pandora bracelet with a bunch of charms on it. There was a hockey stick, a horse head, a waterfall, a microphone, a star, and a heart on it. It was so beautiful. I pick up a note that was under it and read it to myself.

"Dear Elizabeth,
Being apart is hard, especially right now. But I know that you're keeping me in your heart so I'm still with you. I just wanted to say Merry Christmas and get you a gift you could only find here in Switzerland. I watched the jeweler make each charm as I explained what each one meant to me. She said this was her favorite bracelet she's ever made. My mom said you should love it and I hope you do. Give my best to your family and have a great time. I love you so much baby, hopefully I'll see you soon.
Much love, Patrick."

I put the bracelet on and the smile only grows as it all sinks in. He was touching my heart even thousands of miles away and that was pretty special.