Eight Mortal Secrets [Hetalia Drabbles] (Completed, to be Edited)

Mini Drabble XXIV: I'm More American

The living room of America's house was full of activity today.

On one side of the room, Alfred, Matthew, and Kiku were playing a EXTREMELY intense game of Jenga, which involved a lot of Japan understanding the mechanics of the game and schooling the other two, while America screamed insults at both of them and Canada sat, holding onto Kumajirou as he muttered that it was really just a game.

On the other side of the room, Hope, Annalise, France, and Russia all surrounded Apollo and were petting and playing with him as Shelby watched from her seat on the couch. At first, everyone had been unsure whether or not the American would allow Ivan to touch her dog, but he was very happy when Shelby called him over from his spot behind Canada and asked him if he wanted to play with Apollo.

"Hey," Shelby began softly, addressing the two girls and three countries sitting below her. They glanced up at the sound of her voice, "wanna see how angry I can get Alfred?"

"Why would you want to do that?" Hope inquired.

"Because it's hilarious. Just wait, you'll see." Shelby assured her, before speaking up. "Anyone wanna burger?" She called to the rest of the room, catching Canada, America, and Japan's attention. "Nothing's more American than a good burger. Besides me, of course." Shelby explained casually.

America blinked. "Shelbs, I'm way more American."

Shelby snorted. "No way, dude. I'm, like, pure American."

"Oh boy." Annalise muttered. "This'll be good."

"Dude, I'm as pure as American gets." Alfred stated, pointing to himself feverishly.

"Nah, man, I'm literally the definition of American. You look up American in a dictionary, and you see my face." Shelby exaggerated, and France shook his head, muttered something lowly to Annalise in French.

"Dude, I am LITERALLY America." Alfred said.

"I'm way more American." Shelby continued.

"I AM THE PERSONIFICATION OF THE LITERAL UNITED STATES!" He shouted.

She shrugged. "Still not as American as me."

"I AM THE COUNTRY YOU LIVE IN, WOMAN! I AM THE REASON YOU CAN CALL YOURSELF AMERICAN!"

"No, Alfie, seriously, I'm 10 times more American. I eat fake Americans like you for breakfast."

"Can't we all just agree that you're both very loud, aggressive Americans and move on?" Canada suggested with a hopeful, yet timid smile.

"No, Matthew, I have to defend myself! She's saying she's more American when clearly, that's impossible, because I am America!" Alfred exclaimed.

Shelby raised a brow in confusion. "But... I'm America."

"Oh good Lord." Canada muttered, burying his face in the back of Kumajirou's neck.

"No, are you freaking joking?" America inquired.

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"I CAN NEVER TELL WITH YOU DUDE YOU HAVE A SERIOUS CASE OF BFS!"

"Alfred, please, for the love of all that is good in this loud world, she is kidding!" Francis yelled.

"It was joke to make mad." Ivan added.

Alfred looked from his older brother, to his old rival, to his girlfriend, who was still expertly keeping a straight face, before he burst out laughing. "You got me dude. HA, I thought you were being serious for a sec. Alright, bros, let's wreck this game so we can move on with our lives." Alfred said as he turned back to Jenga, Kiku and Matthew following.

"How often does that happen?" Hope muttered.

"Well, actually, I used to do it every Tuesday, but he caught on, so I switched it to every other Thursday, along with every third Sunday of the month. He hasn't caught on." Shelby informed them, leaning back in satisfaction at a job well done.

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Inspiration? I was getting myself some ice cream and couldn't help but think to myself, "What's more American than eating a sundae at 12:30 in the morning?"

And this was born from my brain.