I forced myself into the shower and shaved the best I could through my glassy vision. Niall came to tell me they were all going to sleep because they were exhausted and I gave him back his sweatshirt. He told me, as they always do, to just wake them if I needed anything.

Don’t get me wrong, I do think what they’re doing is nice and all. I just want to be alone sometimes. Then again, I don’t know that leaving me alone when I’m in this state of mind is the best idea. However, I do know that I owe them a rather large thank you soon.

Sneaking out after everything they’ve done to keep me safe and stable makes me feel horrible, but I have to do it. This is the only way to find out if Harry really was still alive.

Maybe I’m the stupidest person in the world from listening to the note and obeying its request. But you know what? I don’t care.

Right now, as I’m silently creeping out through the sliding glass door, I could be making the biggest mistake of my life. I know that this could just be a trap, but I’m still hanging by a thin string of hope that it might be true and he’s okay.

That’s what I need to believe, at least, to make it there without having a breakdown and getting in a crash that I probably won’t survive.

I had to do this; I had to go. I needed to do it for myself and I owed it to Harry to chase after him for once. He was always the one playing cat and mouse with me, but now the roles are reversed and I’m trying to find him.

It’s not pleasant to have your life destroyed by something you did out of foolishness that eliminated the one person you needed to survive in this cruel world from your life.

It hurts like Hell and I know I won’t be able to live with myself if that’s the case and I really was the reason he never left the house that night.

He was literally everything to me. I don’t see the point in living without him; without him I am nothing and I have nothing. He was all I had left, so if he was gone, then I might as well be too.

All this negativity that fills my head is bound to drive me mad any day now and I’m just waiting for it to happen. The last time I let the thoughts get to me I almost ended everything, but Harry saved me. He saved me from myself and now I was going to do anything to get him back safely.

* * *

I knew that I had recognised the address on the note, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on exactly where or what it was. Turns out that it was a completely vacant and run down strip mall parking lot.

This would be the moment where most people would lock their doors and drive as far away from here as quickly as possible. Well, that’s what would happen in the movies at least.

But it wasn’t like that with me. I was determined to get to the bottom of the note. Maybe it was a trap, but I’d rather that then to have not come and leave Harry waiting for me when I wasn’t ever going to come.

The one cliché thing I started to do was reach for the lock button on the side of the driver’s side door. However, my actions were not done quick enough and the passenger side door was opened and shut too fast for my mind to process what was happening.

I opened my mouth to scream as an automatic instinct, but was silenced by a hand covering my mouth.

“You really don’t want to do that,” a husky voice said sternly.

My eyes fluttered open and widened at the sight before me. His eyes looked right into mine as my heart began to thump rapidly against my ribcage.

The hand was slowly removed from my mouth and brought to caress my jaw. My body was completely frozen as my brain tried to catch up with everything happening.

He brought his other hand to the opposite side of my jaw, cupping my face in his hands. We never broke eye contact the whole time, silently absorbing the moment.

I swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat whilst holding back tears at the same time. My bottom lip was brought between my teeth out of nervousness.

A single tear slid down my cheek as I tried to blink the others away. Right now wasn’t the time to cry; I could do that later when I actually understand what’s happening.

I struggled to regulate my breathing as he gradually moved closer to me. Our eyes were still locked on each other’s up until the moment his lips pressed against mine.

He kissed me gently, his tongue softly tracing over mine. When he pulled back, I slowly opened my eyes only to look up into his.

“God, I could hurt you right now.”

“Can you hold off on that for a while?” Harry replied before bringing his lips back to mine and retracing his previous movements with a little more force.

As much as I hated to do it, I pulled away.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Oh, you know, I just thought you were dead and that it was my fault, that’s all.

“Are you coming home with me?” I questioned, avoiding eye contact.

He sighed, “I can’t.”

“Why? I came here to meet you and you’re not going to go back with me?”

“It’s complicated…I shouldn’t even be seeing you.”

“What are you talking about?”

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