Alright so I’m going to continue in this book because that’s what the majority of you said. However, there will still be a skip in time. I’ll let you know when it happens.
Six weeks. I’ve waited six whole weeks anxiously to find out if I was pregnant.
Within those six weeks, Harry got me a ring and it’s absolutely beautiful [picture on the side]. We haven’t actually talked about getting married, which I’m glad about. It’s not that I don’t want to marry him; it’s just that I feel like we’re too young. Then again, who am I to talk when I’m trying to get pregnant at nineteen?
I finished online schooling already. I just wanted to get it over with because it was so tedious. Besides, now I can spend more time with Harry. Well, then he might get annoyed with me. I don’t know.
That’s another thing. I keep overthinking things and I do it way too often. I try to stop, but I can’t help it; it just happens.
My emotions have just been all over the place. I don’t know if it’s because I am pregnant or if it’s because I’m just going crazy. Maybe it’s a little bit of both.
“Baby, stop pacing; it’s not going to make the time go by any faster,” Harry interrupted my thoughts.
I couldn’t stop pacing. That was my way of distracting myself. We had to wait three minutes to find out and let me tell you, those three minutes are starting to feel like eternity.
My phone vibrated in my hand, signaling that the time was up. I turned the timer on my phone off and went straight to the bathroom. I picked up the test in one hand and the box in the other after stuffing my phone in my pocket.
Once I was done comparing the test to what it said on the box, I placed them in the rubbish bin and went back into the bedroom.
“What did it say?” Harry asked when I came back in.
I walked over to the spot on the bed next to him and laid down on my back. He mirrored my actions, except he turned on his side to face me.
“I’m not pregnant,” I sighed.
“Is it me? Am I the reason I can’t get pregnant?”
“I don’t know, baby. Maybe it’s just that the timing isn’t right. We’re both still young.”
“I know we’re young. It’s just that…after I lost the other baby I really wanted one. I still want one, but I guess you’re right; we should just wait.”
“We’ll have one at some point, okay?”
I nodded and he leaned over top of me to kiss me.
The day I lost that baby, I was a wreck inside. I didn’t let Harry know that and I still haven’t told him how much it still affects me. I don’t want him to have to worry about me. He doesn’t need to. I think I’ll be okay in time. It takes time for a cut to heal just like it will take time for me to get over the loss.
After I knew that I had lost the baby, I immediately wanted another one. I don’t know why, I just did. I know that I am young and shouldn’t even be thinking about having kids at this age, but now I can’t help it.
You never really realise how much you want something until it’s gone.
That’s exactly what that baby was; gone. He or she was gone forever and I would never get it back. It hurts to know that.
“Are you okay?” Harry asked after a little while.
“Yeah,” I lied.
I sat up and rested my elbows on my knees. Harry sat up next to me and placed his hand on my back.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, not buying my previous answer at all.
“Did you want it as much as I did?”
He was silent, but he looked shocked by my question.
“Honestly, Harry, did you want me to be pregnant?”
“I don’t know. It scared the shit out of me to think that we might be having a kid. We’re so young and…I don’t really know anything about babies.”
“So, what you’re really saying is that you didn’t want me to be pregnant, right?”
He opened his mouth to answer, but I cut him off.
“Don’t even answer that. I already know what you’re going to say.”
“What am I going to say then?” he challenged.
“You were going to make up some shitty excuse about how that’s not what you meant and I really don’t want to hear it.”
I got up from the bed and went to the doorway, trying to take deep breaths. My attempt to get some peace was interrupted when Harry came in front of me.
“You know that that’s not true. I was scared. Do I not have a right to get frightened about possibly having a child and not knowing how to take care of it?”
“Just stop it!” I shouted.
“No, I’m not letting you think that I didn’t want it at all. I do, just not right now.”
He tried to reach for my hand, but I moved it away.
“Why won’t you listen to me?” he asked.
“Because I’m done with the bullshit! I don’t want you to lie to me! Just get out!”
“Get the hell out before I call the police!”
He walked out the door and slammed it behind him. I slipped down the wall behind me with tears pouring profusely down my cheeks. My heart was aching now more than ever. I brought my knees to my chest and cried my heart out for several hours.
* * *
By the time I had calmed down, it was starting to get dark outside. I pulled myself together and forced myself to get up.
I went into the bedroom and started going through my clothes, throwing things every which way. Once I found something I was satisfied with, I put it on and moved into the bathroom to do my makeup.
This was the most makeup I’ve ever worn in my life. I put on thick black eyeliner, light pink lip-gloss, smoky eye shadow, a bit of blush, and mascara.
I grabbed my phone and stuffed it in the back pocket of my jean skirt. One last look in the mirror and I was out the door. If Harry can’t give me what I want, then I’ll find someone else who can.
If anyone’s wondering why she snapped on him out of nowhere it’s because her emotions are all over the place and she’s only believing things that would hurt her because she feels like she doesn’t deserve happiness after the loss of her child. xx
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Corruption™ (Punk Harry Styles)Fanfiction
[on going] What if one boy could flip your whole world around in just a matter of weeks? [first posted July 2, 2013] Copyright © 2014, ForeverDreamingx™ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyr...