Harry’s POV

 

 

When I woke up in the morning, the first thing I did was look at the clock. It was already nine thirty; she’s probably gone.

Shawn is such a dick. I hope he never has kids or even a girl that loves him. He’s fucking psychotic and he needs to be in a mental institution. Who the fuck kidnaps their ex and locks them in a basement and assaults them?

I wanted to beat the shit out of him for what he did to her, but I didn’t want to scare her either. So, I went for the better option, kneeing him in the balls so hard that he probably wouldn’t get up for at least an hour.

He better have learned his lesson because I will not be teaching it again. I’ll just beat the living crap out of him, literally.

I got myself out of the bed, hoping that she might still be out there. I just wanted to see her one more time at least.

After I changed into some real clothes, I brushed my teeth and fixed my hair as quickly as I could. If she was still out there, she wouldn’t be for long.

When she asked to stay with me last night, I was way too happy inside. I shouldn’t have gotten that excited about nothing. She was just shaken up a bit from being held hostage by her ex in her own basement. I knew that was why, I just didn’t want to believe it.

I wasn’t even concerned about the injuries on her face because I knew that they were nothing serious, but I just needed an excuse to touch her. If only there was an excuse to hold her and never let go.

I ran my hand through my hair once more before going into the sitting room. The blanket I let her use was folded and sitting on top of the pillow she slept on.

Dammit. I should have just stayed up all night so I would have known when she was going to leave and if she even waited until the morning to go.

I went into the small kitchen and looked for something worth eating even though I didn’t actually feel like eating anything.

After a little while of looking around the kitchen, I realised there was a different smell in there. I searched for the scent and saw there was coffee made. It was still warm so she must have left not that long ago.

I wish I knew where she went so I could make up another excuse to run into her again. Fuck. What is wrong with me? Why am I so attached?

I started to massage my temples with my fingers, but stopped as soon as I saw a sheet of paper sitting next to the coffee pot. The whole page was full of writing. How did I not see that?

I picked it up and started to read…

Harry,
   I know I said I would leave in the morning, so that’s what I did. I waited around for longer than I had intended because I was hoping you would wake up before I had to leave. I know I sound pathetic and probably crazy to you, but I just wanted to see you one last time. Well, that opportunity is gone now, so I’ll just work with what I’ve got right now.

   You don’t have to read this if you don’t want to. Just stop now and throw it away if you’re going to feel bad for me. I don’t want pity or anyone’s sympathy. All I want is for you to hear me out. Well, in this case I guess it’d be considered reading…whatever; I’m terrible at making jokes.

   So the whole point of me writing this is because I needed to get out what I was feeling inside, and even if you don’t feel the same way, at least I was able to get it off my chest. I want nothing more than for you to just be, happy don’t worry about me; I’ll be fine…someday.

   I’ll just start off by admitting that I am a complete idiot. You can agree with me, I won’t be offended because I know it’s true. I don’t know what I was thinking when I went out that night. I still wasn’t thinking straight when I kicked you out and called off the engagement. That stupid mistake haunts me to this day. I definitely regret it, but I can’t take it back now. If I could go back in time, I would smack myself upside the head for being such an idiot and made sure things didn’t turn out that way…the way they are now.

   I owe you so many apologies that I don’t even know how to begin some of them. I’ve told you that I’m sorry about the loss of the baby. Her name was Kaylee in case you wanted to know. I’ve said that I was an idiot, but I never actually apologised for what happened that night. I went out to a club and I don’t remember most of the night, but I do know that I didn’t cheat on you. I swear that I didn’t. If you want me to be completely honest, which you deserve from me, I did go to a hotel with some random guy. I was drunk and I know that’s no excuse, but I was sober enough to know that I couldn’t do that to you. I love you too much to ever cheat on you.

   Something I’ve never really said was why I loved you or what I loved about you. Honestly, I love everything about you; the good and the bad, it makes you who you are and that’s the person I’m still madly in love with. I’m not going to list everything because I don’t have enough paper and I would be writing this for the rest of my life…but I will tell you some.

   I love that you don’t care what anyone else thinks and you’re just who you are, no exceptions for anyone. I love the sarcasm even though it drives me insane sometimes. I love that you are the type of person who can be brutally honest if need be. I love your eyes. I love your smile. I love your laugh. I love the way you used to hold me. I love the way you could make me feel like everything was going to be okay even though my world was falling apart. I love that you stuck around and kept trying to put my world back together. I love you…I just love you and everything about you.

   I’m starting to run out of room, but if you’re still reading this, please keep reading. There are a few more things I need you to know.

   One of them is that I’m literally a mess without you. I don’t want to sound obsessive or crazy, but it’s true. You were the glue that held me together and without you I keep falling apart.

   Another is that I’m sorry that I haven’t had a successful pregnancy. I know that’s not your fault and I wish that things were different so I didn’t have to put you through that.

   Finally, I just want you to know that I want you to move on with your life. I want you to find someone who makes you happy and can give you the kids that you want. I don’t know that I will ever be capable of doing that. More than anything in the world, I just want you to be happy. So please, don’t waste anymore time worrying about me. Start looking for the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with and go back to your home where you can be at peace. I’ll never forget you and I won’t forget what we had because it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I will always love you, Harry.

                                                                                    ~Gabby xoxo

 

Fuck. Where did she go?

Someone hold me. I cried whilst writing that letter.  :'(

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