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I haven’t done anything for the past day. The only thing I’ve done is sit in my bed, holding my knees close to my chest. I haven’t cried, I haven’t spoken, I haven’t eaten, I haven’t slept, and I haven’t even moved from the bed except to use the bathroom.

Harry hasn’t come back still and it’s been over twenty-four hours. No one has heard anything from him either. We can’t call the police because we kind of just blew up a house and that probably won’t go over too well with them.

The door to the bedroom opened, but I didn’t bother to look up. I knew it wasn’t him and therefore I didn’t care.

Nothing really mattered to me anymore without him. I don’t want to love anyone else, I don’t want to live with anyone else, I don’t want to kiss anyone else, and I don’t even want to feel anyone else’s touch.

I can’t help but wonder if things would be different had I not kicked him out a year ago. Would Kaylee still be here? Would we have even had to go through this?

The weight on the bed shifted in front of me, but I didn’t move.

“Are you going to eat anything today?” Liam asked.

I shook my head. I know if I try to eat, it’ll just come back up.

“He would want you to take care of yourself,” Liam said softly.

“He would still be here if it weren’t for me,” I said in a flat tone.

I can either show no emotion or have breakdowns for the rest of my life. I’m choosing to feel nothing because it’s better than the pain I will experience if I try to accept what happened. It was obvious that Liam was shocked that I talked because he took a second to respond.

“Gabby, it’s not your fault. He knew the risk he was taking by going inside.”

“No. I shouldn’t have done it so soon. I should have waited. It’s all my fault.”

“I would keep arguing with you, but I know you won’t listen. If you need anything, just yell for one of us.”

I nodded and he stood up from the bed, taking something out of his back pocket. He held it out to me and I looked at it questioningly.

“It came in the mail for you,” he explained.

I took the small envelope from his hand and waited for him to leave. Once the door was closed, I studied the envelope curiously. It was addressed to me, but there was no return address on it. That’s strange.

My fingers traced over the edges of the envelope, turning it over and studying it. I never get mail unless it’s a bill or ads so this was peculiar to me.

Maybe it was something from my father. After all, I haven’t heard much of anything from him at all since I’ve been in America.

That seems strange to me that he hasn’t tried to contact me. He moved me here so I would be safer, or so he thought, and yet he hasn’t called or anything to see how things were going.

If he had, maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation right now. I wonder if he’ll be angry with me for what I did.

Now I wish he did check up on me so that he could have helped us. But it’s too late for that now; it’s already over with and we can’t take it back…I can’t take it back.

Just as my finger slipped under the corner of the top of the envelope to open it, the door flung open and Louis walked in. What does he want? I’ll just open it later I guess…

“I heard you’re talking now,” he said before sitting down by my feet.

I shrugged my shoulders, “I guess.”

“I know what you feel like right now…well sort of, but he was my best friend. It’s not the same, but it hurts too.”

I looked down and hugged my knees tighter, fighting the tears back.

“You probably don’t want to talk about it, and I get that, I just wanted you to know that I’m here if you need someone to talk to.”

I brought my bottom lip between my teeth and nodded slightly as a single tear slipped down my cheek.

“I didn’t come up here to make you cry or feel worse. I just thought I should tell you that I still think there’s a chance.”

“The house blew up and he was in it. There’s no way.”

“Maybe he got out and we just didn’t see him.”

“I don’t want to live with a false hope that he’s still alive. He would have come back.”

“I’d give it a few days, but that’s your choice. He’s disappeared for a while before and no one knew what to think, but he came back eventually.”

I stayed silent; there was nothing else to say on my part.

“Just like I said earlier, I’m here if you need someone. I’ll leave you be for now, but I’m sure one of the other lads will be up sometime soon.”

I nodded and he got up from the bed.

Once he was gone, I stuck my hands back through the sleeves of the sweatshirt Niall lent me when we were at the park. I was glad they didn’t ask why I was shirtless and just kept quiet about my reduced amount of clothing.

I picked the envelope up and started to open it. There was a folded slip of paper inside. I took the paper out and opened it, placing the envelope down next to me.

I’m okay. Don’t tell anyone and come alone otherwise it will draw attention. Just please meet me.

There was a time and a place to meet at underneath the message. I’m not sure if I’m dreaming or if I should even trust this note, but it’s all I have. This piece of paper is literally my last thread of hope. I have to go. The question is: How do I sneak out?

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