“You don’t know? You’re serious? I still don’t get why you didn’t just keep going with what we were doing. Every other guy I know wouldn’t give a rat’s ass.”

“It’s because I want it to be real!” I yelled before I could stop myself.

Shit. What did I just say?

“What do you mean?” she asked, her voice calmer.

“Nothing, it doesn’t matter. Just go.”

“No. What do you mean you want it to be real? Isn’t it real enough for you?”

“That’s not what I meant. I’m talking about our relationship.”

“It’s not real to you? You don’t love me like you said you do?”

I could hear her voice starting to shake and I was silently praying that she wouldn’t cry. If she did, I don’t think I could handle it.

“No…I’m not allowed to have feelings for you; it’s against the rules…”

“Who cares about the rules!?” she yelled as a tear slipped down her cheek, “Do you or don’t you?”

“I…I don’t know… Gabby, you have to understand that I can only love you like a sister if anything.”

“Don’t tell me what you can and can’t do! I don’t give a damn about any stupid rules! Just tell me how you feel…how you really feel, please,” she begged through her tears.

I wanted to tell her how she’s made me feel. I wanted her to know that I have dreamt about her over and over again. I wanted to tell her that I wish the circumstances were different. Most of all, I wanted to tell her my true feelings for her.

The problem is that I can’t do that. I can’t tell her everything I’ve been dying to say.

I can’t open her eyes to the danger around her. I can’t tell her about the men in the alleyway. I can’t tell her how much it hurts to even think about her walking away from me.

“Harry, please,” she quietly sobbed.

“Come here…please?” I pleaded.

If there was one thing I needed right now, it was to hold her in my arms and make her stop crying.

She shook her head, “Not until you tell me.”

“I hate to see you cry,” I whispered looking away from her and hoping she hadn’t heard.

“Then tell me…tell me the truth.”

I didn’t say anything, I just sat there silent. It’s better for me not to say anything at all than to possibly spill everything about her past, my past, the contract I signed.

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