Corruption™ (Punk Harry Styles)

Chapter Forty-three

Harry’s POV

 

 

“Cause with you, I’d withstand all of Hell to hold your hand. I’d give it all, I’d give for us; give anything but I won’t give up. Cause you know, you know, you know. I love you. I have loved you all along. And I miss you; been far away for far too long. I keep dreaming you’ll be with me and you’ll never go. Stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore.”

Something about the lyrics to the song coming through the radio made me think of Gabby and our relationship. Maybe because it was kind of explaining everything that I felt when we were apart for those two weeks.

I would go through Hell to be with her and I know I won’t give up even if she does; I’ll keep trying. My mind is already set on the idea that she is going to leave me at some point. I’m not good enough for her and I know that. She deserves so much better, but I can’t live without her.

I don’t want her to marry me just because then she won’t be able to leave, because technically she still could. I want her to marry me because I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to fall asleep with her in my arms and wake up to her beautiful face every day. I want to be able to take care of her and spoil her just because I can.

If she wants kids, then I’ll give her kids. Admittedly, I wasn’t too fond of the idea before, but when she asked me last night it was different somehow. It made me have hope that we might be able to have a future together and I would give anything for that opportunity.

I know I’m in so fucking deep and I’m almost positive that she’ll find someone new, someone better than I’ll ever be, but I can’t back out now. I tried to move on those past two weeks, but I ended up becoming shit. I chased after her and now I have her back; there’s no way I’m letting her go if I can help it.

The worst part of the time we spent apart wasn’t when I didn’t see her. It was when I saw her in the park and she told me she had moved on already. Hearing that just confirmed my fears that she would leave me eventually.

I’m sure that I wasn’t on her mind at all. She probably never even thought of me. She was probably happier with him. He was better for her anyway. I wish there was a way to show her how much I love her; maybe then she wouldn’t go.

Fuck. I need to stop thinking about this before I make myself go crazy. I sound crazy too, don’t I?

I’ve never gotten so attached to someone and it’s a strange new experience for me. I’m still learning how to deal with all of it and all these emotions that I never even knew existed. I just need to snap out of this train of thought and think about something else.

Something like my birthday. How did she come up with going to New York anyway? God, I hope she’s not going to try to get into a club up there. Not that I’m against clubs, I just don’t like the way the guys look at her. I’m not a big fan of sharing and she’s definitely something I don’t ever want to share with anyone. She’s mine and that’s all there is to it.

Now I sound like a possessive freak. Jesus, Harry, what’s wrong with you?

I got out of the car with Gabby when we arrived at the coffee shop; following her inside even though she told me I didn’t have to. We walked in the entrance and the bell on the door chimed.

I caught Shawn’s eye for a split second before reaching out to Gabby’s wrist and spinning her around to face me. Her hands rested against my chest as I brought my lips to hers, cupping one side of her jaw in my hand.

“Wow, if I didn’t know better I’d say you’re still jealous…it’s kind of hot,” Gabby called me out with a knowing smirk.

“Jealous? I’m pretty sure you’re my girlfriend,” I replied with a smile before kissing her forehead.