A Life On The Edge

A Hunch

Lyle never came home. I locked myself in my room and festered away in my pain. I locked my door to keep everyone out. Even Ryder. Most of last night was fuzzy. I knew I had lost the memory of a lot of things during my sleep and I'm sure I can trace that back to some drugs. Everything after watching the sunset was hazy. I know I was violated, I just don't remember much about it.

I...we had sex? No...he r@ped me. Well fuck I can't really say that if I don't remember it. I remember saying yes, but I didn't want to. So why did I say it? Everything is so fucked up. I locked myself away in my room and used the day to try to piece everything together.

He r@ped me...I know he did.

I turned my phone off around 3 o'clock because I got tired of it ringing. I swear I got a phone call from everyone except the one person who mattered. Even Kathy called me a few times but I was too ashamed to talk to her. After she warned me about him, I ignored her. God damn it I'm so stupid. They obviously have a history, and I can only guess at how deep and rocky it must really be.

"Riley? Are you okay in there?" Tina asked outside the door. "I'm worried about you Mini-Me." I closed my eyes hoping she would leave me alone. They were all distracting me. I just wanted peace and quiet so I could figure this all out. Not to mention I had to figure out how I was going to go about my biggest task tonight. "Riley?" I heard her head lean against the door. "We're all here for you...please talk to me." I know she cares...I know they love me...that's why I have to do this. I need to protect them...they just can't know. "I just don't want you to do anything stupid." She whispered. My heart wrenched at the pain in her voice. "Riley? Do you want to build a snowman?" she sang with a giggle. I didn't laugh. "It doesn't have to be a snowman."

"I just want to be alone." I cried. I heard her let out a heavy sigh, the kind that only comes with sad disappointment.

"I love you...Okay, bye." she sniffled and my heart broke just a little more. At this rate I'm not going to have a heart left. Maybe that's a good thing. No heart means no more pain right? When I'm empty there's nothing left to hurt. Maybe that's a good thing. I miss my knight. Lyle still isn't home. I'm not sure where he is. There aren't many places he can go. I'll call him...just to make sure he's okay.

It rang twice and went straight to voicemail.

Fuck him, who needs him anyway?

God damn it I miss him so much. I grabbed my pillow to muffle my cries. The last thing I want is to have everyone in the house hear how miserable I am. The moment I need my knight in shining armor to rescue me the most...I can't find him. I'm just stuck in this forbidden forest surrounded by my demons scared and alone. It's only a matter of time before they find me... and consume me.

I'll eat you up!

I've already killed so many people. Am I really willing to add another person to the list?

Do you want to live forever?

Stop it! I don't want to...I have to. There's a difference. There's a huge difference. I need to protect my family. I'm not doing this out of hatred or vengeance...I'm doing this because...I have to. I have to.

But before I do that, there was something I needed to get straight. I picked up my phone and called Kramer first.

"Hey!"

"Hey," I mumbled.

"You sound horrible. How was your date last night?" I cringed. "Riley?"

"Is Lyle there?"

"Yeah. You know you broke the poor boys heart."

"I just wanted to make sure he's okay."

"He's fine. You want to talk to him."