To The Moon And Back

Chapter 92

"Jha, can I say something?"
"Go on, Quel," She uttered.
"Do you know why I hate you so much?" I cupped my face and look at her in the eye. "It's because you make me feel like I'm cheating. Damn, I get tachycardia whenever I our eyes meet, and yet you are the sinoatrial node of my heart." Because you are a prisoner of someone who's not even worth it.
Her lips parted. "W-What are you talking about?" I can clearly see the confusion in her eyes.
I want to set you free. I want to see you flying at your own pace without anything or anyone holding you back. And if the universe lets me, I will fly with you.
"Athijha, Those past years, I never accepted how my amygdala wanted you because that time, it was Clea who I always see," I mumbled as my heart races faster every second.
Forgive me, Clea, I can no longer wait for you. Forgive me if my love for you is shallow. Forgive if I am going to break my promise, I am bound to.
"Quel, this is not a good joke. If you want to mess with me, then go and do that, but don't mess with me with this kind of topic, Quel, please," She was laughing in nervousness while looking at me in disbelief.
But then, I shook my head. "I'm not messing around, Athijha. Believe me, love, I would never joke with something like this. You are my serotonin, oxytocin, and my endorphins, Athijha. I love you."
"Seeing me in pain is your happiness?" She asked in a meek voice.
"Athijha," I called her name as I recall all those times that I have set her in pain.
It's as if I was struck by a lightning. All those times she cried because of me. Those times that I have cheated on her. Those times that I have hit her.
She doesn't want to say this but I know, I know that she's thinking that I turned into someone comparable to my dad or maybe even worse than that.
She shook her head. "Quel, you can't fall in love with someone as easy as that. You can't be in love with me, Quel, you are still in love with Clea."
"I love you, Athijha."
It's hard to believe it, right? It's hard to believe that I am in love with you but please, please, love, know that I mean it.
"Sure, you do, Quel. Do you know what's the difference between me and Clea? You love me in a platonic way while you love her romantically," She flashed a genuine smile. "I'm okay with that. I won't try to make you love me the same way you love her. It's enough for me to know that I am part of your happiness."
"You don't understand, Athijha."
"I do understand, Quel. Just love Clea as much as you can, he deserves it. As for me, just let me love you now. It'll fade soon."
"What do you mean?"
"I already told you, didn't I? I'm letting you go, Quel. I'm setting you free," She dropped her gaze and bit her lips. "You know, I've been thinking about this lately,"
I hummed, still oblivious.
"Does it ever drive you crazy, just how fast the night changes?" She sang which made me think that she must be doing this because she's about to do something for herself that will be painful for me. She chuckled when I glared at her. "Just kidding. Anyway, I uhm... I have thinking if divorcing you after a year to avoid outbreak about us since a lot of people are keeping an eye of me because uhm, you know, I'm starting to rise up in the showbiz industry."
I frowned deeply while looking at her intently. "Divorce? You've been thinking of divorcing me?"
"After that, we'll just wait until the ruling is done then you can finally marry Clea," She messed with my hair but I do not mind at all. All that I am thinking about now is that I am about to lose her. "I'm sorry for ruining your dreams, hindering rather."
I swallowed the lump in my throat then smiled a little.
"Rest for a while, Athijha. I'm just going to prepare for our dinner," I said then sighed. "Don't lay on your back, it might be painful. It's kind of swollen."
"Does it look bad?" She asked.
It does.
"No, not at all," I helped her. "I'll massage your back after we eat," I said before leaving her alone.
I was preparing our dinner when Damon called, informing me about Antony Alonso's illegal transactions and the inadequate evidence. I clenched my fist in frustration as I visualize the possible things he has done to his daughters.
"Please dig deeper, Dame. I know we're almost there. If ever he comes after us, I will take responsibility for protecting every one of us. Trust me."
I quietly stepped into my room. Athijha's sound asleep. I caressed her cheeks. "Why are frowning in your sleep, love? You shouldn't, you might get wrinkles at such a young age. And you're just starting your modeling career, right?"
I smiled then planted a feathery kiss on her forehead.
"Wake up, love. Wake up, the food is ready. Come on, Athijha. You have to eat. I've been hearing your stomach grumbling in hunger for a while now," I slightly tugged the pillow while caressing her hair.
She hugged the pillow tighter and buried her face in it. "Tired. Sleepy. No," She said in a hoarse voice.
"Jha, get up," She groaned then shook her head.
"I won't, I'm feeling lazy," She mumbled as she started to doze into sleep again.
I sighed. I shook my head while staring at her, watching her get herself comfortable on my bed. I stood up then placed my hands on my waist. So stubborn.
I grabbed the pillow then lifted her up. I carried her in a bridal way. Her eyes were wide open as she looks at me in surprise. Her lips were a bit parted as I wrap her arms around my neck.
"You're too lazy, huh? Then let me carry you to the dinning area," I moved my face closer to hers to tease her a bit. I almost kissed her when I saw a glimpse of emotion in her eyes, when I saw it glow a bit after a long time. "You need to eat something," Then I looked away and started to walk.
That's so great, love. I'm starting to see you well and alive again.
It was a pain in the ass to hold back especially when she teases me about something I think is obvious.
She's such a seductress even without knowing it.
I wonder if she can still feel the pain from her bruises and wounds because if she does, she sure is good at concealing what she feels.
"I was just messing around! You don't have to do that," She said then scowled at me while she's chewing the food. "Do you know that I can sue you for that?" Her eyes squinted then averted her gaze.
My forehead creased then raised my left eyebrow. "I didn't know that. Sue me for what, Athijha?" I asked, intended as a joke but it backfired when her father's image flashed in my mind.
Yeah, sue us, love.
"For constantly stealing my heart," My lips parted as I stare at her.
She stared back. It rendered me speechless. I can't tell if she's just messing around again or what but given the history, she might be serious. And this fucking heart's racing like crazy. Damn, love, you should really stop fluttering my heart in any way possible.
I was about wake her up for her to take her meds when I saw her sitting on my bed while rubbing her eyes. A small smile crept on my lips.
"Good morning, love."
She doesn't like the taste of medicines. She loves to throw them away and rely on time to heal her body. She'd definitely do everything she can to avoid taking meds.
"I'm not going to take that, Quel. It tastes awful," She said while covering her mouth with her palm.
That's what I thought.
That's not the only reason why she hates taking them, though. According to Damon, it was a hot topic in the underground society how the Padre de Familia of the Alonsos made his daughters take a bunch of medicines all at once, leaving them unstable for a week.
Knowing this girl, she has no plans of telling me about this info.
"Then you can't go to your rehearsal," I shrugged my shoulders with a sinister smile.
Her brows furrowed followed by an eye roll. "You can't stop me from going, Quel. I may let you decide for me but not for my career. Now shoo," She gestured me to get out of her way. "I still need to take a bath. I feel so sticky."
I remained standing in front of her as I realize that involving her career does not do any good for the both of us. Nevertheless, I won't let her go without taking her meds. I placed my hands on her shoulder, preventing her from standing up. "You won't really drink this, huh?" I asked and she nodded as a response.
I stared at her for a couple of seconds then took the medicine. I grabbed the glass of water beside her before gently lifting her chin.
I went in for a kiss. I felt her body stiffen as her mouth parted in shock. I smirked at the back of my mind. I took that as an opportunity to make her swallow the medicine she's supposed to take.
I didn't stop until she swallowed the pill.
I placed my forehead against hers.
"I just want to tell you that I really want this marraige to work," A smile crept on my lips as we both look into each other's eyes. "And I'm not doing this out of f*cking guilt, Athijha. I'm doing this because I think I'm already falling in love with you."
I'm doing this because I am definitely in love with you, in any ways possible.
"Quel," she mouthed as her lips quiver.
"You're planning to divorce me after a year, right?" I took her hand and squeezed it, not wanting to let go. "Can you not do that? Can we make this relationship work, Athijha?"
Please, say yes, love. Let's make everything between us work.
"Are you sure about this?" She whispered.
I nodded as a response. I planted a feathery kiss on her forehead. "Call me when something happens, okay?" She nodded. "Okay."
As she leaves our home, I waited for a couple of minutes before driving my way to Damon's condo. It's not that far but the way is a little tricky like it's designed to keep whoever resides here from harm.