To The Moon And Back

Chapter 28

Maybe that smile from earlier wasn't meant for me too. Maybe... maybe the moment he stepped into this condo and landed his gaze on me, he saw her. He thought I was her.
It's so stupid of me to forget that he's drunk. It's so stupid of me to think that he has forgiven me. It's so stupid of me to do things for him even if it breaks me.
How could I forget that he's into her?
And I can't believe how masochist I am. I can't believe that I can't bring myself to be mad at him, to hate him. I can't believe I love him so much.
I combed his hair and planted a feathery kiss on his forehead before storming out of the room.
I sat by the window. The light coming from the misty moon is not that bright but still, it gave me comfort.
"Moon from above, am I not that worthy of my beloved?" I bowed my head and shoved Quel away from my mind. I clasped my hands and intertwined my fingers. "Misty moon of the dawn, grant thy wish which is success alone."
I've been reading my notes since the last three hours. Memorizing the details, highlighting important texts and all.
My head feels like it's going to explode in any minutes. I massaged the bridge of my nose as well as my temples as I stare at all of this papers scattering on my table. I heaved a deep breath and fixed my things.
I unconsciously gazed at the clock. My mouth parted in shock when I saw what time it is already.
I pulled my hair and groaned in frustration. It's already five in the morning and I still haven't slept even a second. I stood up. My vision was suddenly covered by black dots until all I can see is the darkness. I shut my eyes and exercised my breathing. I slowly opened my eyes.
I carefully walked to the kitchen and started preparing our breakfast. I tilted my head sideways when my head suddenly felt light and everything seems like they're having a duplicate.
I heated some water and made a coffee for myself. I stared blankly somewhere, recalling everything I studied.
I was about to sip on my cup when I noticed it's already empty. My gaze flew on view outside the window. A small smile crept on my lips as I stood where the I can feel the warmth of the sun.
I prepared my clothes and hanged them. I turned on the shower. The cold water streamed down my body. I was in the middle of rubbing my body with a soap when Quel entered the bathroom. Damn! I forgot to lock the door.
My mouth agape open as I stare at him with wide eyes. My hands felt called and was astounded by his sudden pressence. He looked away and gulped. He didn't say anything, he just turned his back and left me alone in the shower.
Blood suddenly raced to my face. Realization hits me. I covered my face at the moment I realized that I didn't do anything to cover my body. I just f*cking stood there like a log.
I was already screaming at the back of my head.
Funny because I felt embarrassed about that incident but not with what happened last night. I just hope he doesn't remember anything, or else, I'll be damned.
I turned on the shower and fanned myself with my own hands. Why do I feel hot all of a sudden.
I made a plan. Yes, I did made a plan on how to get myself out of here without bumping onto him. Once I'm out of the bathroom, I will grab my bag and run. I did not even dried my hair and I don't have a plan to do so.
But the heaven is not really on my side.
The moment I opened the door was also the time where he got out of his room. He was eating the chicken sandwich I made earlier and looks like he's ready to take a bath.
I tucked my lips in and smiled a little. I mumbled, "Excuse me," and passed by him.
If I ever say that I don't want to talk to him because I feel ashamed, are you going to believe me?
Since my plan did not worked, I decided to eat the breakfast I made for myself.
As soon as I'm done eating, I took my bag and my allowance for today. I was about to write something on the sticky note when I saw him leaned on the white wall.
"Athijha," I almost jumped in joy when he called me by my name.
"Hmm?"
"About last night," Oh shoot! He remembers something. My grip on the strap of my bag tightened.
"W-What about," I clearec my throat. "What about last night?"
"Did something happened?" My heart raced in an abnormal manner. What am I supposed to say?
"Yeah," I replied. What did I just say? "You threw up on me and almost break the vase in your room." I gulped. Is it working? Does the reason I made up is working?
He nodded. "Nothing else?" He suspiciously asked.
I shook my head. "No," I pursed my lips. "And you kept on mumbling my sister's name to your sleep. Another thing, I'm sorry I went into your closet and changed your clothes." I reached for the doorknob. "Bye!"
Despite of being embarrassed, I found myself smiling from ear to ear. Happiness takes the biggest place in my system today.
Quel ate the food I prepared. Quel called me by my name after a month of calling me bitch. Quel talked to me. Quel did not yelled at me. Oh my gosh!
My mood was bright the whole time and it feels like I am not carrying a heavy burden on my back.
"Good morning, River," I greeted him when I saw him near the clinic, reading his notes, I guess.
"What's with you today, panda?"
I raised my eyebrow. "Panda?"
"Yup, cool dark circles around your eyes," He wiggled his eyebrows while putting on an annoying smirk.
"I hate you, River," I jokingly raised my fist.
He gestured me to go away. "I hate you too."
I rolled my eyes and headed to the classroom. The room is filled with my blockmates who keeps on reviewing for the test and the preps who are just talking about something nit related to school.
I looked for my phone in my bag. My heart rate started to raise when I did not find it in there. It's not in my pocket either.
"Oh God, no," I uttered under my breath the moment I realized that I left it in Quel's condo.
My schedules are set in there and how could I possibly contact my co-models if I don't have it? I sighed. I'll just think about it later.
I focused on studying and recalling everything they might give in the test. I swear if I mess this up, I won't believe in the moon again. Kidding!
"Get one and pass,"
I was biting the tip of my pen while reading and asnwering the test papers as careful as I can be. I don't want to fail another long test, especially on my major subjects.
I was writing an essay when I lost a hold of my pen, causing it to fall on the floor. I placed my hand on the side of my head when it throbbed. I picked up my ballpen then tucked my lips in.
I shook my head and tried my best to finish the test. I was thankful that I still managed to finish the test and passed it without fainting. I drunk water from my tumbler.
I walked through the busy hallway and the noise did not really helped. It just made my dizziness even worst. A deafening, high-pitched sound echoed inside my ear all of a sudden.
My vision started to get covered by black dots, and at this time, I can feel that my legs are turning into jellies.
I was about to fall when someone caught me from behind.
"Athijha, are you okay?" River asked, concern is visible in his eyes.
I blinked for several times and nodded, but then, I shook my head. "River," I called while tugging the hem of his shirt. "Do you mind accompanying me to the clinic? My head feels crazy."
"Come on, I'm gonna carry you," he offered.
"No, no, you don't have to. And based on the looks on the faces of most of the girls here, I'm going to be bullied of they see you carrying me," And I also don't want Quel to get the wrong idea.
"'Kay," He was the one who prepared the meds and checked on me from time to time, to sum it up, he was the one who nursed me.
I laid on the bed and took a rest for a little while. I wonder how good did I do on the test. It's probably bad, knowing that almost one fourth of the test I took was answered when I was in my worst state.
I pulled myself up when the classes are finally over. River raised his eyebrow. "What do you think are you doing?"
"Uhm... going home?"
"I'll drive you home," He said with finality while playing with his car key.
"I can make it alone, River. And," I pursed my lips. "And I don't want my dad to see you around our village. I don't want him to reprimand me again."
"You're a selfish bitch. I'm ashamed to have a tainted woman like you as my wife." He smirked. "You deserve everything you get, you fucking spawn of a demon."
"Yet I love you so much," I moved closer to him while I was on my knees. "Quel, can we just give it a try. I just... I'm just so in love with you, please."
"I love Cleandra. I agreed to be your wedded husband but that doesn't mean I gave myself a chance to fall for you." He grabbed my chin. "You ruined the years we spent together as a friend."