To The Moon And Back

Chapter 61

I am standing at the shore, comfortable with the soothing feeling of the cold water as it caress my feet. The warm breeze of the dusk makes me feel free.
I clossed my eyes when the wind started dancinf with my hair as the droplets of the seawater landed on my my skin the moment that the wave hit the rock formation near me.
I turned around and stared at the figure of Miss Rebekah's manor. I tilted my head as I intertwine my fingers on my back.
I can't believe I ended up here. I can't believe I have went this far after everything that has happened in my life.
It's almost been two weeks since I stayed here without contacting someone. Not even my mom, not biological mother, not my friends, not Exiquel, not my family and definitely not my sister.
Well, I actually contacted Cali and River thrice.
I flashed a small smile and waved at Miss Rebekah when I saw her from afar walking towards me. She waved in return and walked faster.
She was just about four meters away when I noticed what she have in her hands. She's holding the notebook I gave her after I finished writing the what she wanted me to write.
Looks like she's done reading it.
I guess she's here to discuss everything that notebook has.
Sometimes I wonder if she have any other patients beside me since I have never seen her left this manor and I've never seen any other guests she have except for me.
What is this? A special treatment? I wonder if they have something to do with this.
"Hey, Miss Rebekah," I greeted her with a smile when she was only three feet away.
"Hello, dear," She hesitated to smile then showed me the notebooks.
Writing the tragedy that notebook holds is really a pain in the ass. I had to stop writing whenever I get breakdowns and anxiety attacks just make myself feel better.
Sometimes, I wish I really had an amnesia. Or at least I wished that I suffered from coma because I really wanted to rest after everything that I experienced.
I was unconcious for three days after I tried to kill myself and saved by the Milton family. Then I stayed at the hospital for a month for my recovery.
I was actually glad that it was my father's right hand who found me bleeding.
"I've finished reading your story," She hung up a bit then smiled. "And I've been observing you since you arrived here. You have had a traumatic experience which caused you to suffer from MDD and PTSD."
She tucked her lips in while I just nodded. "From your records, you also suffered from temporary amnesia when you were eight years old. Your mental health has been abused," She smiled reassuringly. "You are a strong woman, Athijha."
I chuckled and shook my head. "Actually, I am not as strong as you think. I won't even try to harm myself if I am strong."
More than a year ago, I lost my child. I lost my career because I pathetically failed as model.
More than a year ago, the media feasted on my photoshopped pictures. I was chased by media and bashed by a lot of people because according to the source, I failed as a mother.
A false report spread like a wildfire in the social medias that I had an abortion just to continue my career as a model.
It was painful, of course. I knew that I failed as a mother because I lost my kid but did they have to harass me because of the false rumors about me?
"And you won't be here if you are not strong," She smiled and gave me a pat on the shoulder.
"I was about to call the cops earlier after reading this. But then, I realized that I am not in the right position to do so or I can't do that without your consent. Do you want me to report it?"
I chuckled. "No, not at all, Miss Rebekah. I can take care of it by myself," I replied.
"Okay, so let me take care of you for a while," She stood up beside me and threw her gaze to the horizon. "Let's work on your mental health, okay?"
"Sure thing," I uttered under my breath.
More than a year ago, I experienced the darkest days of my life. Clea was sorry for being the reason why my baby died but after a week, she did her best to make everyone hate me.
I never seen Exiquel, not even his shadow.
Later on, Kyla brought me to a Psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder as well as post traumatic syndrome disorder.
The medical made a fun of my situation and insisted to put me in jail for aborting my child.
It was their fault. It was the Alonso's fault. They did everything to their power just to get rid of me.
I am thankful. I am fucking thankful that I am not an Alonso at all.
My brother took care of me and brought me home. A real home this time. He brought me to a place where peacefulness lies and fame never mattered. Where beauty never mattered.
He brought me to where I actually belongs. To the home of the clans who belongs to the elite class of society.
In the islands of Fuego Paraiso.
I belong to one of those clans.
"And actually, Miss Rebekah, I am actually not Athijha Esmeray Alonso," Disgust crawled from my spine when I uttered that name, especially that surname that I cursed to the stars.
Her forehead creased in confusion. "What do you mean?"
I smiled politely and fixed my posture. I put the strands of my hair behind my ear and faced her.
"Ambula in elegantia, sed super omnia, intelligentia," I said as I held my chin high. "Walk in elegance, but above all, intelligence."
Her eyes widened. I bet that phrase is familiar with her.
That's our family's motto since the clan rose in the society.
I extended my hand. "Athijha Esmeray Alonso is not mg legal name, Miss Rebekah. Let me formally introduce myself to you. I am Assia Emeraude Vista, youngest child of Isaiah De Silva Y Vista."
"Oh my God," She mumbled under her breath. "It's so great to finally meet their lost heiress."
Assia Emeraude Vista. That was the name my father has given me.
My mother gave birth to me at the Vista mansion and after a month, she ran away and brought me with her.
Just to what? Maltreat me. Abuse me. And blame me for the things I do not have any control. She put the blame on me just to keep her pride with her after seducing my father for his wealth.
That was what really happened.
My brother River was four that time and was clueless of everything. Funny, because he has been taking care of me and watching me from afar and knows that we're siblings while I was thinking that maybe he likes me.
I can't believe I really thought that he's courting me without my permission because he cares and he's always there when I need someone.
It turns out, that it was a pure love from a brother longing for his sister.
"Can I ask a question?"
I chuckled softly. "You're already asking, Miss Rebekah," I said in a joking tone.
"Don't you want to talk to your husband?"
I stilled with upon hearing that question.
According to her, Exiquel has been calling me since the day that I went here.
I have another phone which I am using for business and contacting mg family, especially when it's important. And this is what I am keeping for now.
I let Miss Rebekah hold my other phone and answer calls from acquaintances or those people who means nothing to me or less important in my life.
"No, I might say something I shouldn't and I haven't forgiven him yet," I uttered then looked away.
Miss Rebekah placed her hand on my shoulder. "I understand what you're feeling. But forgiving is a part of healing. You can't be fully healed if you choose to live in the past or bottle up inside you what has been keeping you from moving on," She said in a soft tone.
"He was one of the reason why I suffered a lot. He was one of the reason why I experiencedanother trauma."
"You can't possibly get rid of that trauma if you don't want to let it go. A child won't grow if its parents are caging him/her from the world. If you cage everything inside you, then you can't move on."
"A plant won't grow without the presence of the sunlight. You need a ray of light to outgrow the darkness within you."
"A person will never learn without the help of others whether it is good or bad. You might have learned how to forgive before you learned of revenge, but you be reminded that you have learned to love yourself later than yoh have learned to love and live for others."
I lowered my gaze and stared at my feet which is being caressed by the water as the sand beneath them tickles my toes.
"An art is not an art without a story," I mumbled under my breath.
"That's right, darling," She said as she nods. "Learn from life and from your mistakes, then apply it on how you want to live. It doesn't matter of people won't like you as you because what you project is an art that only few can fully understand."
"It's up to you on how you're going to project yourself as a person. You are you. You define who you are."
I stared at her as she stare at me. I smiled at her and uttered the phrase "Thank you," which she responded with a smile and a quick nod.
"Come on, it's getting colder out here. Let's go in. I'm sure they already prepared our dinner," She invited me.
The place where everything is genuine and safe from the cruel world.