To The Moon And Back

Chapter 83

My heart was throbbing for her.
Her tears kept on falling like her eyes were a broken faucet.
"No one ever said that there's an easy way,
When they're closing all their doors,
And they don't want you anymore,
This sounds funny, but I'll say it anyway,"
I brushed her tears away with my thumb. Her cheeks were so cold and delicate. I wonder if she ever felt fragile.
"Girl, I'll stay," I whispered then pulled her gently.
I caressed her hair while her head was resting on my chest. I can still hear her faint sobs but it's gradually fading away. We were in that position until her body relaxed, and now, I am supporting her weight alone.
I stared at her tear-stained, sleeping face. She still looks like an angel but something about her really seems off. She's somehow... she's somehow paler than usual.
My heart started to race the moment I realized that her body temperature isn't normal. I carried her then ran through the hallway on our way to the infirmary.
I sat next to her while she's asleep. I was just staring at her face, thinking how can she maintain such an angelic face when she's not okay? How can she maintain a straight face when she's in pain?
I can't seem to process what the nurse just told me. That the reason why she's having a fever might be because... might be because of the bruise she has on her stomach. It's big. It's purple and orange and grey. It looks like the ones I had before. It seems like someone punched her there with so much force.
The school nurse was actually worried that there might be a broken bone. My hands and feet were so cold and shaking in fear and nervousness because of the possibilities about Athijha and the flashbacks of my memories where I can taste blood in my mouth as I curl up on the floor after getting a hit from my dad.
I and the nurse wanted to call the cops to report bullying or possible child abuse from her home but the Principal stopped us the moment we decided to move. She told us to wait for Athijha to wake up so that we can ask her directly... so that she won't be surprised when the cops start asking her questions about that.
No matter how much I try to calm myself down through breathing, I can still feel my knees and hands trembling. It was as if I was getting thrown to a wall then getting cornered by a bunch of shadows I have been trying to escape.
I clasped my hands together then averted my gaze. I gulped several times then sighed for the nth time. I shut my eyes then started visualizing something that should calm me down.
It was a bit blurry, though. It was someone's smile.
I flinched when someone touched my shoulder. It was the nurse.
"Are you okay? You look pale." She asked.
I slowly nodded then stood up. "I'll just stand by the door. Please call me once she wakes up."
I inserted my hands in my pocket as I lean on the wall. I was bowing my head, holding it really low. My hair was covering my vision but I don't mind at all. Not seeing the world around me somehow reassures me that I will be okay. That I will be able to go on just like how time runs throughout the day.
I don't know how long have I been standing there. I can still feel my legs but I can no longer feel my neck. I slowly lifted my head then exercise my neck.
"She's awake."
She was sitting on the bed while gazing at the scene on the other side of the window.
"You have a bruise," I pointed while crossing my arms under my chest. "Where did you get that?"
She slowly turned around then flashed a smile she usually wears. "Did you worry about me a lot? I'm sorry if I did make you worried."
"I believe that's not the answer to my question."
"It's because I refuse to give you one. Don't worry about me so much, Exiquel. I am fine. I can take care of myself."
I was taken aback... I was taken aback not because of what she said but because of that smiles she wears and that eyes of her where I can see nothing but the void. It was so empty that I can almost imagine a heavy aura around her. It felt like I was looking at a completely different person.
"Can you at least tell me where and how you got that?" I asked in a low voice.
"It came from a sport I have been playing since last month. It is not a big deal," She replied in a calm voice with a touch of dismissive tone.
She lay on her back then wrapped her body with the blanket provided by the school. She was staring blankly at the white ceiling. She looks like she was lost in her thoughts which made her somehow intimidating and unapproachable.
That was the very first time that I have seen that side of her.
I was taking my time walking home by myself. My hands were in my hoodie's pocket when I accidentally glance at the rusty, broken gate. This isn't the first time that I have seen this but every time I do, my curiosity ridiculously soars up higher than the sky.
I looked around then headed there casually in order to not get noticed by some passersby.
I was careful to not get scratched by some thorns or sharp rocks. It was too messy and already looks like a mini forest but the moment that I saw the scenery behind that, I was mesmerized. I was suddenly reminded of those two sisters.
There are different flowers all over the area but the tulips stood out for me. I wonder how they grew beautifully despite being abandoned in this place.
I was thinking, was there someone taking care of them?
A small smile appeared on my lips. I'll bring her here one day. I'll probably show this to her.
She has always loved the moon. She'll love this place. This place has the perfect spot to gaze up to the moon which she always does.
I sat at the cliff. She loves the fresh breeze too. I leaned on my hands and gazed at the starry night sky.
Whatever I do, wherever I am, I am always reminded about your existence. Big or small things, it felt like everything in this world is connected to you.
I chuckled. I am being too cringe.
"Hey Athijha, take responsibility for what you did to me, of what you made me feel," I whispered in the wind then chuckled I am some sort of a madman.
I stayed there for a couple of minutes, thinking about the things I really shouldn't... because I still have a long way to go.
I stood up then tilted my head to shave off the unwanted thoughts I am having. I started walking away and halted when a drop of water fell right in front of me. They gradually increased.
My whole body shivered the moment that the wind blew up. An ear-splitting sound suddenly filled my ear and I can almost feel my eardrum breaking. My throat started to hurt as if it is being scratched by a rough paper or being cut by a cat's claws.
I placed my hand on my neck as I fell onto my knees.
That scream was mine. That was the reason why my throat was hurting.
My head was throbbing like crazy. It's as if someone is pounding my head with a hammer.
This has been going on for almost two months now and as far as I can recall, it all started because of that one fateful day.
I was staring at the wall of my room blankly while they were doing their nightly routine... breaking things and yelling at each other until they get into each other's throats.
I'm used to it. It's not even a big deal anymore.
But then, that night, my father barged into my room and grabbed my chin.
He pulled me with him and I can't help but feel nothing anymore.
He threw me in front of my mom then the latter pulled me in her arms.
"How dare you do that to your son, Arnold?" Mom screamed that her voice almost cracked.
He pushed her away and I chose to do nothing but to watch them.
"Is that really my son, Elly? Is that stupid bastard really mine?"
I'm just so done with these things. It happens every day that it even made me feel so tired every time it happens.
Dad pushed mom away from me then grabbed a handful of my hair. "Tsk! Look at this child's eyes, Elly. It doesn't even resemble mine," He sarcastically said. "He resembled yours and it irritates me a lot to see them look lifeless."