James Buchanan Barnes Imagines

Abandonment and Expectations

You pushed him back. Your anger rolling off you and making the tension in the air even thicker. Tears rolled down your face, Bucky on the verge of crying as well as you slam your door shut. He's been gone for a year, no letter, no notes, no phone calls, no emails, not even a text message.

You thought he was dead. You mourned for him. Only to come with the realization that he was hiding on his own, away from you and the world. Then, he shows up on the other side of your bedroom door and you're stuck. You didn't know how to process him being alive and infront of you, until he started speaking. You let all your emotions flow out. From anger, to happiness, to confusion, all the way to sadness. And that's where you stayed. Tears fell down his face as he raised his hand, wanting to knock but couldn't. He was shaking to much, he dropped his hands to his side and clenched them into fists. He knew what he did was wrong and unacceptable, but he couldn't let them find you and take you too. He couldn't let you get hurt because he wanted to check on you, he didn't have it in him.

"Doll, I-"

"No! Go away!" You scream, throwing stuff at the door.

He didn't jump in the slightest. It only made him cry more. The fact that he hurt you, the fact that it was for so long, and he was the cause of it. He's never done anything to hurt your feelings, he's always kept you happy, he never once made you cry from anger or sadness.

"Please....p-please open up." His voice cracked as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"You abandoned me! You left me here and you didn't even say goodbye!" You sobbed.

"I was protecting you!" He argued, his voice loud but it came out broken.

"You've always protected me by your side! Not by leaving me here! I thought you were dead, James. I thought I would never see you again, we all cried for you. And then you just show up and act like everything's okay!" You shouted, "You've outdone yourself, Barnes. You've actually managed to break my heart."

Your words squeezed his heart dry. He didn't want to break your heart, he didn't want to fight with you over anything, he didn't want to be on the other side of the door. All he wanted was for this to never have happened, he just wanted to be cuddled up next to you, enjoying every detail about you.

"Congratulations, you just lost your girlfriend." You stated, wiping your eyes and climbing through your window to leave.

He banged on the door, his heart aching, "No! Doll, please listen! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you, I just- I-"

He realized you were gone and broke down. He slid his back down your door and curled up in a ball, shaking and crying. He's never felt like such a jerk before. You were his girl, his doll, his everything, and you were gone. Just like that.

"Bucky?" A voice called out, "Oh my god, I thought you were dead! I did- Wait, what's wrong?"

He didn't even look up. He felt no use.

"Buck?" It was Steve, he bent down and helped his friend stand up, "Bucky-"

"S-she's gone, Steve. I won't get her back." He mumbled, gripping onto Steve's shirt, "She left me....I was a jerk. I'm sorry, please don't leave too."

Steve pulled him in for a hug and rubbed his back, "You're not going to lose me and you're not going to lose Y/n. We'll get her back, don't worry. But for right now, you have some explaining to do."