Thorny Reviews | REVIEW SHOP [CLOSED]

《Star》The Masked Devil

Author- @vari_writzzz10

Reviewer- DamagedButPure

Ok so I'd like to say...this book is AWESOME. I enjoyed it a lot and will continue reading it when I'm free!
You did a great job with the book as a whole. Here's my review. Hope you take it as a motivation to be better!

TITLE: 5/5

The title is perfect. It definitely suits the story and the plot. It's also attractive. Something that will make the readers go: Yep, I should check this one out!

BLURB: 5/5

The blurb is great. It's beautiful how you describe both, the protagonist and the antagonist in the blurb. The contrast makes it interesting. Also absolutely purrrfect how you made the problem in the story attract the audience.

INTRODUCTION(prologue): 7/10

It's nice that you introduced the story through the tragedy in the life of Priya. And although the descriptions were to the mark, the narration lacked the natural vibe of the emotions she was feeling. It didn't make me feel for her....so maybe you can work on the emotions part? I think it'd be wonderful to show how her body was reacting to her emotions. Burning throat/numbness etc.

CHARACTERS: 9/10

I absolutely love all the characters. The antagonist's portrayal I feel was your best work in the whole book. How you depicted his uncaring attitude, and thirst to kill.

Arjun is a sweetheart but girl...you really made him wh0r£ shame Priya. He absolutely cannot be the love interest if he's wh0r£ shaming. That means he doesn't respect her as a person, therefore can't possibly be with her.

However I do feel like you could've done a better job with the conversations. The characters talk in a way that people in the real world don't. Realistic conversations will appeal to the audience more.

Essence of the story: 10/10

This. The essence. It captivated me. Held me prisoner until I read about 16 chapters before realising I had to give a review for this book T~T

WRITING STYLE: 4/5

You need to work on expressing the emotional aspects a little more. Love, focusing on the physical environment is also great but you've only been TALKING about the emotions of the characters. You've got to EXPRESS them. And there's a big difference between talking and expressing.

Also...one word? EXAGGERATE. Drag out sentences.

Example don't say it like: She was beautiful, with dark hair and high cheekbones.

Say it like: She was beautiful, in a bold way. Made people yearn to keep on looking at her.The tresses of her hair cascading by her shoulders like a dark waterfall. Her cheekbones high and regal, exactly how she held herself.

GRAMMAR: 4/5

I did find a few typos around the book....also you used a 'wtf'. Please consider extending it to its actual form. Text language is not appreciated in proper books.

Flow of story: 5/5

The flow of the story is perfect. You're not rushing things or dragging out situations. The pace is great. Keep on going.

PLOT: 10/10

The plot is unique and wonderful. It's also beautiful how you managed to create a strong character. Oh also how you managed to create the psychologically disturbed villain!

Graphics ( cover page/ aesthetics etc): 4/5

I feel like the font isn't clear enough for the title...also the font used for the author name doesn't suit the genre or the background picture.

Details and descriptions: 8/10

As I said before, you could work on the emotional side of the descriptions. The physical descriptions of the environment are okay.

Total points: 71/80

Overall I think the book is wonderful, but not flawless. I'm sure you'll do better!

PM me on my account @damagedbutpure for any more help.

Lots of love,
Star