Mianite: A Syndisparklez Story

Chapter 22: Depression?

Sometimes when I wake up I forget I'm slightly handicapped.

For example, this morning when I woke up, I went to use the restroom when I fell flat on my face.

I heard Tom roll over and groan.

"Did you fall again?"

"Yes..." I replied embarrassed.

He sighed and got up from his bed and helped me up.

"Sorry...I just forget..."

"No worries you old geezer. I'm just glad you haven't peed the bed yet," he laughed.

"Shut up," I said miserably.

It had been 4 weeks of being in a wheelchair and I was sick of it.
I had been trying to walk but I don't think I was making much progress.
Every time I tried, I fell on my face.
My chest still hurt every time I moved, and I could only use one arm since the other was still in a sling.

I sighed unhappily as I wheeled myself outside towards the stream I liked to sit at.
I felt like I'd never be able to do anything ever again. Of course I was just over reacting, Dec said I would recover in just a few more weeks.

I stared at myself in the water. I looked awful. I didn't really like cleaning up anymore because I needed Toms help to do that.
I always needed his help when doing literally anything.
I didn't particularly want to bother him too much today, because I knew he was stressing out about Steve. It had been a week since we last saw him, and Tom was really worried about him.

And Tom was really grouchy when he was stressed or worried.

So when I needed help with anything, he usually replied with, "sure old man" or "not now grandpa". Which really bummed me out, but I usually got over it quickly.

Today just really hurt for some reason.

Dec had said there would probably be side affects from the meds he gave me, which would include depression. I was just hoping I wouldn't get that one. But right now I really was feeling kind of depressed.

I heard the tree house door open behind me and footsteps walking up to me.

"Are you okay? You usually don't take offense to my jokes..."

"I don't know...I just feel weird. I have no idea why. I think it's the meds Dec gave me. I wouldn't worry about it."

The last thing I wanted him to have was more stress.

"Sparklez tell me what's wrong. Don't sugar coat it. You can tell me."

I thought for a moment before saying anything.

"I think...I think I'm depressed. I'm pretty sure it's just the meds but...I've just felt this weird feeling for the past week. I didn't want to tell you because you have enough things to worry about right now."

It was kind of true. I was depressed, but it hadn't been just this week. It was a lot of times. Sometimes it was just random. I'd be hanging out with my friends and it would just come over me, and it was really hard to re-focus on what I was doing or talking about. Other times it came when I was alone and it was just horrible thoughts going through my head, and I had no idea why.
It was one of the reasons I didn't want to stay here. I knew that the feeling would come again sooner or later, and I didn't want to face it. I guess that's why I've been so emotional lately.
Wow.
The great CaptainSparklez has depression. I'd never thought that would happen.

"What can I do? Like take you to Dec? Or tell you jokes? I don't...I don't really know how to help you with this," Tom stammered.

"I don't either...I guess I should just wait it out. See if it gets better when I can walk again. Maybe that's what's causing it."