More Than A Vow

Chapter 82 All or Nothing

Tessa just drove! She had no idea where she was going to end up. She was so mad right now. Crystal had gone to the condo to talk to her mommy, but when she pulled up on the street she already noticed her Mommy's car was nowhere to be seen. Which gave her a bit of anxiety wondering where she had gone? Just to make sure she wasn't there she went up to the condo and let herself in. Nothing! Back home Mariah had come down to a bit of a cool reception. Has Crystal gone to the condo? Mariah asked Cassie She did yes! Mommy's not there! What do you mean she's not there? Crystal's on her way back, she said mommy's not there, She let herself in and there's no sign of her. Ok, have you phoned her mobile? asked Mariah Not yet no said, Cassie. I'll do it said Mariah starting to panic. she got her phone and speed-dialed the number. 

This phone is switched off! That was the answer she got. Oh great! She's switched her phone off said, Mariah. Well, I guess she doesn't want to talk to any of us right now said, Cassie. She'll be back for my treatment tomorrow you watch said, Mariah. Mom, I wouldn't bet on it if I was you, she was pretty upset when she left here earlier. Mariah made herself a coffee and went down to the lake house and called her mom. Tessa finally decided to go to Winnebago where she and Mariah had some special times together, the memories made her cry. One thing they had never done was take a walk around some of it. Tessa parked the car and started to walk. She hoped this would help clear the thoughts she was having in her head.  She grabbed a coffee from a vendor on the way, with a lovely view of the lake she found a wonderful bench to sit on, she'd been walking for about an hour at this point. Looking at her phone, she contemplated turning it on! She knew the girls might be worried if they went to the condo and found out she wasn't there. But she needed this alone time to think. Since Mariah had told her about the diagnosis she felt she'd not had time to do that at all. 

The girls and Mariah were starting to worry when three hours later they were still getting the message, this phone is switched off! Mariah looked at the girls in despair after trying for the umpteenth time. What did grandma say when you called her ? asked Crystal. Err How did you know I did that? We'll I saw you talking to someone while you were drinking your coffee down at the lake and, I guessed it wasn't mommy because we couldn't get through and the only other person you would of the rung is? Grandma said Mariah. Oh, you know! Mad at me for being an Idiot yet again. I obviously can't see what's in front of me, the times I've hurt your mommy. "Mom" I'm sure she will forgive you again. said Cassie reassuring her. I think this is going to take some crawling this time girls! I mean she's never turned her phone off before. Has she? No, Mom !  she hasn't. Both girls looked at one another concerned. If she doesn't come back by the morning, I don't know what I'm going to do? She's held my hand through every treatment.

Well if she's not here, one of us can do that for you? No! No! It's ok I've asked grandma to be on standby just in case. Look, mom! I just think she needs a bit of space and time, mommy has always been a thinker after all! True said, Mariah. I'm just a bit concerned she didn't go straight to the condo like she normally does. I mean where the hell has she gone? Mariah was getting upset. When her mom started to get upset, Crystal called her grandma for help. She didn't want Mariah losing it, with only two sessions left to do. It won't do her any good getting all upset and mad. When Sharon arrived she calmed Mariah down and said let's do some meditation and then put you in the bath to help you relax. She took her upstairs. The girls tried their phones again, but still no joy.

Tessa had managed to have a bite to eat, she'd had a lovely walk and felt rejuvenated and ready for anything life could throw at her including what Mariah was facing. She stopped thinking before she got to all the negative stuff about breast cancer. She still hadn't worked out how she was going to get Mariah to stop working and smell the trees? The more she thought about it the more depressed she got. Mariah is just never going to stop, is she? It will be wishful thinking on my part, that I can get her to change. She can't see what I can, that she's struggling to cope with everything. Those bloody walls of her's have a lot to answer for. Once Mariah had her bath, her mom put the moisturizer for her. I've not done this since you were a baby! Smiled Sharon. When they were done Sharon helped her back down the stairs. 

Are you ok? Sharon asked Yeah! Just worried about Tessa and where she could be. I'm also starting to feel the radiotherapy more in my joints etc. Sometimes I just feel like someone's punch bag. You do know you have one hell of a wife don't you ? said Sharon, She never complains about anything. Not even to you ? said Mariah No! surprisingly said Sharon I think she only did it the other night when she heard us because she was fed up bashing her head against a brick wall. You were shutting her out and not listening to what she had to say. But all she kept on at me for was work !! I kept telling her I needed to do it to keep me sane in all this madness. Honey! Tessa just wanted you to see that as time went on, you were overdoing it and all she wanted you to do was slow down a bit and give yourself some time to let your body recover. Take today, for instance, I heard that as soon as you woke up from your nap after your session this morning you were straight on your computer and making calls?  I was said Mariah sheepishly. 

That's why Tessa's mad! She wanted you to rest because she is the only person who sees you twenty-four seven. She knows when you are tired and getting cranky before you do! She is a keeper Mariah don't keep putting those walls up of yours because one day she may not be around to knock them back down again. Ok mom I think I get the message. When we find her I will explain everything to her and I promise to try and switch off more with work. Good, said Sharon Because that daughter of yours is quite capable of running both offices with one hand tied behind her back. Tessa was watching the sunset and wishing her wife was sitting with her. I know I should be going home but I've still not worked out what I want to say to her yet. But she did need to let the girls know she was ok! She'd been away all day, plus she knew the girls had probably checked the condo by now! She turned her phone on and obviously she had missed call's from Mariah and the girls. She just sent one message to both girls which read. I need some time, I'm ok Love you Mommy x > That will do for now she thought. She got into the car and headed for a roadside motel she'd passed on the way to the lake. She hated the fact that she would not be there for Mariah in the morning, but she hoped that having this time to think would help her in the long run.

Mariah and Sharon came down to the girls looking at their phones. Are you both ok? asked Mariah Err yeah! We've just got a message! From mommy? said, Mariah. Yes! Crystal showed her the message. Well, that doesn't say a lot. Did you get the same one Cassie? Yes, mom! She doesn't even say where she is? No! She doesn't said Crystal looking concerned. You've been to the condo, yes mom. She's not there! said, Crystal. I might go over again later tonight to see if she's going to sleep there tonight. Do you think she will? Mariah looked tearful. I've no idea, mom! But I wouldn't rely on mommy being here to take you for your next session tomorrow. Oh ok! Do you really think your mommy will miss it? asked Mariah Mom I think you have really upset her said Crystal When she left here I really did believe her when she said she can't do this anymore. I think we just have to give her, however long she needs.  That said Do you want me to take you in the morning? Err it's ok Crystal I'll take her said, Sharon. Thanks, mom, said Mariah. Later that night Crystal and Cassie went over to the condo to see if Tessa was there. They were so disappointed to find it still empty. In a motel room, Tessa had a shower and thought about what she was going to do? When the girls got back to the house. Mariah was still up with Jo and Sophie. Mom, why are you still up? I need to know said, Mariah. She's not there is she? No, mom! Sorry was their answer