More Than A Vow

Chapter 12 Spilling Her Guts

This morning when we were on the sofa you kissed my head. I rushed out of here. Yes! You said you had work. Well, that was a lie. She looked at Tessa and took her hand for courage. I panicked, and when I got back to the ranch I had a full-blown panic attack.

I've not had one of those in a while. Where are you ok? Tessa said concerned. Yeah! I was fine Sharon was there to calm me down. Why did you panic? Well, it was lovely with your arms wrapped around me, she smiled. But when the pizza guy arrived and you kissed the top of my head, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. It freaked me out.

Really? that kiss made you have a panic attack? Wow! I didn't know I was that good. Tessa laughed. She then realized Mariah was not laughing. "Mariah" I need you to open up and tell me what you are so worried about. And I promise I will listen and then you can hear what I have to say. Ok? Mariah took a big gulp of wine and then scooted next to Tessa. Tessa put her arm around her. Right now you are settled tell me what's bothering you so much?

She took a deep breath, exhaled, and started with. To put your mind at rest I don't want you going anywhere. I want to see if this can work. Ok? Tessa sighed That is a relief. But there's something more isn't there? Yes ! said Mariah It wasn't the fact that you kissed me on the head that freaked me out.

I worried about what people would think of me being with you. Seeing as everyone in GC has only ever seen me with boyfriends. I'm also terrified about how intense this is and all these feelings I'm having. I've never felt anything like this towards anyone before. And it scares the crap out of me. But at the same time, I don't want to back off. I want to spend as much time with you as possible, then, on the other hand, I want to put the breaks on. Does that make any sense to you at all?

It's just different said Tessa Different? Yeah! Number one neither of us has ever had feeling's for the same sex before. So how do we navigate everything? I've never been involved with someone that I have these intense feelings for either. Tessa looked at Mariah and took her hand. Look I think we're both figuring this out and how to approach everything. I don't want you to feel pressured into anything ok? 

We will just take thing's one step at a time slowly. Is that ok with you? Mariah nodded. We're on the same page Mariah I'm not going anywhere. I'm glad we talked about it. I hope it's made you feel better about thing's now that you've got it off your chest? Tessa smiled at her and said come here and opened up her arms. They stayed cuddled up for the next few minutes. 

Mariah pulled away from Tessa. Even though she could have stayed there all night. Are you ok? Tessa asked. Yes, I think so. I'm glad I came back to you. I love spending time with you. But it's past midnight so I'd better book a cab. I've only had one glass of wine, do you want me to run you home instead? Tessa grabbed her car keys. Come on I'll take you home. She kissed the top of Mariah's forehead.

Sitting outside the ranch in Tessa's car. Tessa turned to Mariah. What ? said Mariah Well I was thinking you said you were off all weekend right? Yes! But I do have to do a little bit of work tomorrow morning. Ok! So after that are you free? said Tessa Err yes. What do you have in mind? We'll that will spoil everything. How about you trust me? Of course, I trust you Mariah smiled. Well, good Tessa smiled back.

Mariah thought her heart would explode. What times are good to come over and collect you? Oh and plan for all day. Maybe pack your sweats. Tessa laughed and so did Mariah. Let's say 11 as long as we can go to Crimson on the way to whatever you've got planned. Is that ok? Tessa looked at Mariah of course it is. I can't survive without coffee either. They both laughed their heads off.

Mariah lent in toward Tessa. Tessa quickly pulled her in and whispered I'm dying to kiss you properly, she could feel Mariah tense up. She pulled away from them in a brace, and said it's ok I'm not going to pounce now, you're clearly not ready for that to happen yet. Mariah stuttered I'm sorry Tessa. It's ok Mariah I'm going to let you go. Night Mariah Night Tessa.

Mariah watched as the lights of Tessa's car disappeared down the drive. She turned around and unlocked the door. When she walked in Sharon was sitting there waiting for her. Oh my god, it's just like when I was younger. Mariah slumped on the sofa next to her. Well said Sharon Well what? Did you talk to Tessa about how you feel etc? Yes, I did. We went back to the condo and talked there. Why didn't you stay? Sharon was curious. Because! Because I have some work I have to get done in the morning. But Tessa's picking me up around eleven, and we're spending the day together.

"Mariah" You do realize that if Tessa was a man you would not have even thought about staying! Sharon waited for her to respond. Look I know I want to be with Tessa and see where these feelings for one another are going, but it's too soon for me to stay at her place. Tessa is ok with that decision for now Ok? Mariah was mad. She thought she was being pushed and she couldn't go there yet. With that, she left Sharon on the sofa and headed to bed.

She woke to a text from Tessa. I hope you're looking forward to our day together? See you at 11 x It made her smile. It was 9 O'clock she better get a move on if she wanted to be ready in time.