Fighting Fate

61. Explain

I reach for his hand which is still a little wet, and pull him down to sit beside me. He lets out a sigh as he makes contact with the bed. "I called Zayn."

So that explains why there was a missed call on my phone. I feel like an idiot because I was lowkey excited over the fact that he had called me. Even though he upset me and I'm mad at him, I still care about him. The thought that he thought to call me made me happy. But now I am disappointed because the only reason why he called me was because of Harry. 

He didn't leave a voicemail or text me. He just called and that's it. I don't know if he called because he is apologising to me or if he called to abuse me for Harry calling him. Zayn isn't the same person as I once knew. He is different now. So I'm beginning to think that he wasn't calling for a friendly chat. 

"So last night you were drunk and decided that it was a good idea to call Zayn and inform him of how mad I am at him? So then he either called me to apologise or to yell at me again and tell me that I need to control my boyfriends and what comes out of his mouth."

"Not only are you beautiful, but you are smart too."

"You called him." I say barely above a whisper. I know that Harry called him, I wasn't asking a question. I was more so saying it aloud to try and make it easier for me to believe that it actually happened. 

Harry nods his head and places his hand on my knee. "But I wasn't drunk. I called him when I was in a taxi on my way to buy some clothes."

"I noticed you were wearing new clothes."

"I'm surprised you noticed."

"You left the tag on your jeans."

He laughs at me. "No I didn't."

I walk into the bathroom and pick up the black pair of jeans which are in my washing basket and still wet from me hosing Harry last night. I point to the white price tag, hanging from the belt loops. 

"Great now I can return them ... I'm kidding."

"Are you though?"

"Yes. I won't return them. But I will donate them because I didn't like them. Nothing compares to my favourite jeans."

I drop the jeans back in the washing basket and sit back on my bed. "What did you talk about?"

"He didn't answer."

I look at him with confusion. "So instead of calling you back, he called me back?"

Harry shrugs his shoulders. "I guess."

"Harry, there has to be more to it. What else aren't you telling me."

"I left him a voicemail. I basically said that he can be mad at the boys and I, but he shouldn't be mad at you. Whenever Zayn couldn't be open and honest with us, he was always able to find comfort in you. You two have always shared a special bond. You could understand him in ways that the rest of us couldn't. So I told him that he needs to stop being a dick and man up before he loses every single person who cared about him. I told him that you picked him to be our daughters godfather for a reason and that he needs to honour that."

"He was probably calling to tell me that he doesn't want to be her godfather anymore."

"Na, if he was going to be a coward he would have texted you or ignored my voicemail altogether. Come on, you know how his mind works better than I do. Do you really think he would call you to cause more bad blood?"

I rest my head on his shoulder and let out a sigh. "I honestly don't know Harry. He isn't the same person anymore."

He puts his arm around me, pulling me closer to his body. "Yes he is. He is mentally exhausted and upset. He let his emotions speak for him. Zayn isn't a bad person. He is just hurting. I was hurt too and I am mad at myself that I let that get to me. I regret saying those things that I did. At the time I wanted to make some lighthearted humour, but I didn't think about the impact it would have on Zayn. I now realise that instead of lashing out and letting him push me away, I need to do the opposite. I need to fight harder to be there for him like I said I would."