Nothing To Give But Love (A Michael Jackson Story)

Chapter 46- Past Love

Chapter 46

A baby. A baby. A child. I'm carrying a precious, little human inside of me. A new life is developing inside of me.

Frightened doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. Decisions are not just made for myself any longer. I have to take this baby into consideration. My baby.

It all made sense when I finally apprehended that I'm pregnant. I've been having morning sickness for a while, always after Michael would leave for the studio and I wouldn't tell him about it when he came back because I didn't want him worried.

But minutes ago I found out that Michael wasn't worried about me in the slightest bit. Too busy with his beloved Tatiana.

And then, I also discerned that Michael didn't use a condom the last time we made love on the plane. Too much in the passionate moment for either of us to realize. That was a month ago. I sigh, thinking about that day.

Could he have used me? Perhaps he just wanted to have me for sex. Or maybe he just wanted a child. I know how much he loves children.

What ever happened to us wanting to stay together? To him wanting to marry me? He wrote it down himself. I guess he finally came to his senses and registered that he didn't want to be with someone like me. Someone so broken.

I sometimes did think that our relationship was too good to be true.

I lean my head against the window, absorbed in myself. Am I ready for this baby? I'm twenty years old. I didn't think such events in my life would come so quickly, clashing and bleeding into each other.

I don't want to hold on to hope, but there could be a sliver evident. I didn't give him a chance to explain. Of course I still want him and love him, but after this? I don't know.

I lift my head up to see Janet driving quietly. She cuts her eyes to me.

"I'm sorry...."

"I don't need an apology." I say sharply.

Minutes pass, the only sound the engine and the gusty wind whipping around outside the vehicle.

"Did he ever love her?" I suddenly ask.

Janet stays silent for a moment. "He never told you about his past love life?"

"No," I shake my head, "I never asked. I didn't want to seem like I was digging around in his past."

She nods understandingly. "You should've asked anyway."

I shrug. "Maybe. Will you tell me?" I look at her.

She presses her lips together. "It's a long story."

"I'm all ears."

She starts the story.

"Michael wasn't very confident when it came to girls at a young age. He was shy, he still kind of is, and he would say that if he ever went out on a date, the girl would have to ask him.

"And it was true. He didn't dare ask a girl out, because of what happened between him and Diana."

"Diana... Ross?" I ask for confirmation.

"Yes, her. He was in love with her, but she only viewed him as a son she said, although she would lead him on. It was frustrating and confusing to him and she knew that. She told him that they would be together, but then she suddenly ran off and married another guy."

"How terrible," I chime in.

"He was heartbroken for a very long time, until he met Tatum O'Neal."