Erwin's POV
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Dear son Erwin,
You are the stars to my moon and I will forever love you till death due us part.
My heart aches with agony knowing this letter may be the final one I write to you my son. My little boy has finally become a man of twenty-years-old.
There is only so much advice and wisdom I can give to you because the rest is in your hands. You decide your fate, and you make your own path. Destiny does not control your life, only the life choices you've decided on can lead you to your future.....
I want to turn the time back and discuss with you about a promise I made when you turned fifteen. I promised once you came of age any questions about your Mother I would tell you, but instead I found the courage to write out my thoughts instead of telling you.
I want to tell you the story how I fell in love with your mother, but also what happened.
Your mother's name was Serafina, she was ordinary when it came to appearance, brown hair the color of a tree's log, skin white as snow, but eyes blue as the summer's sky, every time I look at you I see her.
Serafina gave her heart to the Survey Corps and served under the hand of my father and your grandfather Hugo Smith. As time progressed we learned about each other's interest, hobbies, but most of all aspiring for the same hopes and dreams to live purified these walls I feel in love with a solider.
It took me many years to build the courage to ask Serafina's hand in marriage, but she had no trouble accepting my request.
On the fourteen of October we were blessed with the birth of a blonde haired boy, stunning as a sky full of stars we decided to name him Erwin because we knew the moment you were born into this world, you were going to impact our lives and many others around... and rest assured our prediction was correct, because you brought the both of us nothing but happiness.
Everything was perfect we had peace and
harmony in the family......but that only stayed for about one year.
Serafina was murdered inside of the Survey Corps Headquarters with her neck slit open by a blade, bleeding to death on the floor to drown in her own blood, while her mouth, arms and legs where all tied with rope, leading me to one indicated that there was more than one murderer.
I'm not sure what happened all I can do is theorized. She was at the wrong place at the wrong time. People lash out on fear when under pressure, she must have seen or heard something that was secretive.
Endless of theories I've crafted, but only Serafina could answer what really happened that night, but one thing is for certain the love of my life was killed for a secret to die with her.
Now, my child...you have been exposed to the most devastating information that has haunted me ever since her death, but you also deserved to know the good things about your mother and her hopes and dreams.
Always she dreamt about living on a farm with dozens of animals to take care of. Pigs, horses, goats, cows, chickens, lambs she wanted them all.
She would also rave about having a large family together since both of her parents died when she was very young. She never experienced what it's like having two normal loving parents. Her ideal picture of a perfect family was having two girls and one boy.
Her dreams and passion influenced me, I wanted to make her happy by living her dream. I was saving every coin possible and taking on multiple jobs just trying to give her want she desired...having a big family while living on a farm., but with all the sweat, I'd pour trying to reach our goal, never we had enough money to move and start a life together. The only thing I could grant my beloved was conceiving a child...a little boy, who she poured her heart and soul making sure you were alright and cared for.
I'm sure by this age my boy, you understand life is unpredictable. There is no guarantee of what the future holds in store... I never pictured myself standing here today as a second-grade school teacher supporting my little boy who is my life and joy.
Erwin my son, I love you more than you could ever imagine...I hope one day you'll experience the everlasting love between a Father and a Son, or even the chance to spend the rest of your life with a woman by your side.
With Eternal Love,
Father
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One Year Later
Every year I gain more experience and knowledge about my working environment, aspiring to improve skills, tactics or fluctuate what is in demand, but most of all I wanted change.
I've served as Commander Shadis's right hand man for some time, and I am grateful to have this opportunity, but I would be a fool to claim Shadis's has made some progress to this branch. I respect his determination to keep fighting, but he lacks the most fundamental item that requires excelling beyond the ordinary....perception........especially on one problem.
Deaths amongst our men and women.
Every expedition outside these walls we loose a fraction of what we started with, and I saw this hole and I wanted to mend it, and with every problem you start with the base of the issue.
Why?
Why is this happening.
I asked myself this question needing an answer, knowing I had to start at the root of the problem to untangle the mess, which beings in the most simplest tactic yet.
Formation and positioning.
Every route and every step had the same repetition from the first Commander himself, noticing this flaw opened a door full of ideas and ways how to improve and alter such a formation, which I crafted a plan naming it.
The Long Distance Plan
I was confident and most assured the idea was bright because it was new and full of potential, but the hardest battle was trying to convince the Commander himself this is the future, and every future there is change.
The only evidence I lack is numbers because I don't have the statistics to make a conclusion what the ratio of survivor's will be.....
I have a theory though what might be the end of this conversation, Shadis will most likely want to test out this strategy before making it official.
But then again........Shadis's isn't me, and he doesn't perceive everything like I do.
"Commander Shadis, I have some issues I would like to discuss with you." I began, clenching the neatly rolled up parchment paper to feel it's sleek material layer my hand, standing in front of the Commander with his body resting on his lounge chair while his lips sipped on his coffee.
"Proceed, Smith." replied Keith hearing annoyance tuned in his voice sounding as dry as though he had sand in his throat, lowering his cup of coffee to rest on the table, feeling a sudden beam of energy filter in me because this very moment would alter history because of my idea.
This is it......I'm rewriting history.
"Sir, I want to address a dilemma this branch has been struggling with since the creation of the Survey Corps. Our death rates." I began explaining, using my palms to start unrolling the paper with cation, as my tongue continued to educate the Commander on my ideals. "I believe the segment that is killing us, is our battle formation." I finished unrolling, where I floated the lightweight paper on his desk to expose all the lines, circles and markers penned on the paper from my hand. "I've noticed that all our previous Commander's have used the same strategy when venturing out into the open fields. A straight line with all the Squads following the Commander at the front." I pointed out, using my index finger to display the poorly sketched soldiers following each other on horses in the line of ducklings as titans came circling toward them. "Instead of keeping the same formation when approaching our destination, why not have each individual team curve at different areas of the titan, furthermore we are riding the same direction, but different squads will be breaking off into different areas." I explained staggering my finger all along the titan, displaying the different routes from straight to curved all it's endpoint is the titan. "Because the soldiers will be at different areas on the map this will provide us a leverage to cover more ground widening our range and surroundings, making it easier to spot any titan, let me give you a scenario. For instance, if a titan is approaching west of the designated direction, the Squad Leader from that direction would blast a smoke signal to warm the others around. This will not only alert the soldiers but the Commander in a short amount of time, furthermore using this tactic in battle I am certain our deaths will be lowered and we can sustain a balanced number."
The moment I decreed all my work in a brief summary I felt relief filter my veins because all those late nights, researching, reading, collecting information and sleepless nights I'd discovered something that could improve our branch, and lead us to victory.
Shadis on the other hand remained in silence as though his mouth was shoved with a cotton ball, brown eyes the color of a beetle grazed down all the poorly sketexhed drawing that a five year old could do better, shoulders stiff as cardboard, facial muscles tensed up as stern as marble
I read through his expression full of skepticism, feeling perplexity baffle my head as thumping as reading a blurry sentence.
Either he is thinking of possible questions.......or he doesn't approve of the idea.
Shadis's redirect his stare to land on mine, looking straight into his pupils to notice hesitation start to mellow in his stare, I didn't want to hear his coward pled why he doesn't approve.
"Erwin.....I'm glad you are taking an interest about our survival rate, but this plan hardly seems like it will do anything." he blurted as rough as hearing a pickax chip a rock. "Throughout the years of Commanders their
strategy to venture out the walls consist of a straight line until reaching a titan. The formation has been the same in every expedition, and it never has let us down." Shadis explained his ideals, hearing his puny explanation revolted discourage to shudder my veins as my tongue developed with disgust feeling as though I ate a rotten apple the longer he talked. "Sticking to what we know is vital, because we have experience and everyone is familiar with such a plan, and to be frank Smith I don't think there is any problem of our current formation."Keith finalized as harsh as a tornado striking down a house, using his palms to roll back up my plan leaving only stun to conquer my veins because I've never been denied before.
How absurd he is.....
I'm not discouraged my plan has been rejected, but I'm bleak because of the Commander's inadequate reply.
Keith has proven to me he doesn't have what it takes to reach greatness, because his reaction to my plan is will be denial and leaders can not rely on comfort and certainly.
Leaders are suppose to take risk and gamble......
That is why legends achieve their goals because without the demand for change you can not reach it.
If he doesn't want my plan, it's his lost.
"Sir may I counter your refusal with an offer." I brought up feeling all my lost turn into motivation from one thought. "May I used my plan for my own squad?"
Shadis stern as marble handed me back my plan in my grip feeling the paper's smooth material sink into my skin, where this request of mine left me feeling doubtful to cloud my gaze since I had suspicion thicken my blood from his previous rejection.
"Yes you may Smith." he accepted as effortlessly as hearing the springs breeze feeling ease soothe my veins from his verdict, pivoting his attention back towards his desk."Since you are interested in trying to solve the problem of our death rates, I have a task for you Smith." Keith paused, removing a sealed envelope from his drawer having a red seal stamped in the middle with the wings of freedom engraved in the middle, transferring me the letter into my palm. "I want you to go pay a visit to your old Intrsucor Rafael Pavlov, and persuade the graduating recruits to join the Survey Corps."
Hearing Shadis's sudden request blow through my ear I felt my entire body freeze from alarm from outrage. I felt my heart skip a beat from his nonsense, creating more questions about our Commander, but moreover my opinion about him was altering the more we spoke.
Instead of valuing the life's of the men and women we already have he would rather convince new soldiers to join the Survey Corps, instead use what we are given and try and make it the best.......how pathetic.
His visions and ideals are unreasonable and have no logics......and as much as I want to stand against this outrageous request.......he is my Commander, and my superior.
I can't deny his orders.....
Hearing the foolishness swayed in my Commander's voice I felt my tongue swell with revulsion feeling as though pimples were blistered on my tongue, having to swallow all my pride to reply with respect.
"Yes sir."
I conclude that Shadis as Commander won't exceed. He is ordinary and lacks the potential to advance us into greatness....with such a judgment.......there is one person who follows his orders.
Aurora.
Aurora is in Thomas's squad......she needs to be with me so that she is safe and protected.
How will I ever persuade the Commander my desire to have Aurora if he can't even accept my proposition of a new ideal?
But I have an idea.
Shadis is a man who values strength in a solider.......Mike is the only solider who possesses as much strength and talent just as much as me.....what if I were to promote Mike as a Squad Leader......
That leaves Mike to have his own squad and he will be protected by my plan as well I can make sure he has all our friends in his squad, but most of all I can put Aurora in my squad and she will
be under my thumb and I can make sure she is safe.
Shadis might refuse my offer of my plan, but I know he won't deny this proposition.
Power and strength is a trait he values, and I'm just as guilty.
The Following Morning
"Mike, how would you like to be a Squad Leader?"
Mike raised his brows from intrigue nearly touching his forehead as he plucked his lips together looking as though he ate a lemon slice from the skepticism juiced on his tongue
"Go on," he replied.
This possibility of promoting Mike to be a Survey Corp Squad Leader might indeed pass.
He is an exceptional soldier who surpasses the standards as a Squad Member.
Mike has proven to me, bravery, strength witts, and most importantly courage.
There is not a doubt in the back of my mind, Mike will thrive with greatness.
Dozens of old memories flood my brain remembering our past together serving courageously fighting for the greater good....fighting for freedom, not to mention how determine Mike can be once he's fighting with his comrades forming a smile across my lips from his victories.
I trust Mike more than any other solider I've worked with, and I'm certain his abilities will push him far. He just needs me one last time, before he can fully become the man he is designed to be.
With my endorsement and recommendation, Mike will sure be granted the privilege to sever as a Squad Leader. He's served under my hand for some time now and assuredly gained experienced.
It's up to Mike how he will play his cards and command his Squad...
"Mike, I've had the chance to work with a man who brings me great honor. Through our previous training, and this past year you've shown me the characteristics that prove yourself worthy as a Squad Leader. Determination, courage, strength...and most importantly a noble heart. You are willing to lay your life for the ones that matter most, and you will fight till your last breath. A man like yourself is hard to come by, and these qualities of yours need to be recognized and used properly. Mike it's time for you to spread your wings and learn to fly. I've taught you well and you've experienced the obstacles. It's up to you, how you will use your gifts to lead us to victory. I will give my best assurances to Commander Shadis, and describe to him everything I find valuable about you, and that qualifies you as Squad Leader." I ended feeling as though I was laying on water from the amount of relief and ease overwhelmed my veins.
Mike remained in silence acting as though his tongue had been snipped off from his mouth, thick dirty blonde brows elevated and stiffen from stun, even his lips as thin as an orange slice parted from astonishment while his eyes the color of the summer's sky shimmered from surprise.
This will be a promising choice, he will exceed far in this life.
On the other hand Nanaba and Lynne both instantly turned to one another like magnets, faces spun with excitement and lips curled into a smile as radiant as the morning sun only tugged on my heartstrings like a monkey on a limb because my friends meant everything to me and I would risk it all.
I just wish I could do more for them...
Mike shuffled his was towards me feeling his massive hand thump me on the shoulder as roughly as taking a punch though I could feel softness ease in his fingertips as soft as a mitten, immediately recognizing this was the best possible choice.
"I would like that a lot, Smith." Mike replied with a voice as smooth as butter hearing his reply was as joyful as hearing a trumpet echo, comforting my veins from satisfaction knowing I could protect the ones I love.
Mike is the brother I never had.....I would do anything for him, but most of all Mike has worked extremely hard to become the solider he is today, and all his hard work paid off......
Out of nowhere Nanaba had flung herself onto Mike's back like a fly on the wall, causing him to tip forward just a smidge from her sudden excitement encouraging my smile to remain on my lips pleased from the response of my friends.
"I am so proud of you baby!" she squealed as pitchy and adorable as a kitten meowing, instantly I recognize Mike's long face diluted into liquid from bliss since his smile was as endless as a rainbow. "Your gonna love your reward tonight!" she once more giggled full of excitement sounding like a mouse nibbling on a piece of cheese as her lips pecked Mike on the back of his neck repeatedly like a woodpecker smothering him with her love leaving me with my thoughts to roam around in my head.
The decision I made was capable to bring joy and happiness to the ones I hold close.
Obtaining a high position as this I am able to make the choices that will effect others more over I can change history for the greater good.....
Mike and Nanaba continued to glow smiles as radiant as a lantern, lips passing laughters full of joy sounding as harmonious as songbirds in the morning, fueling more thoughts to skip across my head since as wonderful as this accomplish was.......I mistakenly performed the wrong steps.
I have promoted a solider without proper confirmation from my Commander........but strangely I don't feel any fear of approaching this issue.
Mike is an exceptional solider, and the Survey Corps is more grateful to have Mike than Mike is to serve the army.
I will persuade Shadis into this promotion regardless of his immediate thoughts.
Shadis lacks the capability to excel from lack of acceptance of change, and without accepting change how can one ascend into greatness.
That is why Shadis's will never acquire his victory.
The Following Morning
The more I endured working under Shadis the more bitterness developed on my tongue upholding Keith's status,, but mainly his title became rustic once I heard the decline confirmed of my plan though thankfully today I was given another opportunity to create change in the military because using my voice and my persistence I could potentially impact someone's uncertainly to join the Survey Corps in hopes of finding the secret to this life.......making this bitter pill I've just encountered worth swallowing knowing I will prosper in victory.
It took nearly the whole morning to arrive at the camp making me arrive at day break, and the moment my stallion entered the training corps, goosebumps formed across my forearm from stun feeling as though I was left stranded in a blizzard naked as I came into the world because the only thought of this dead land was my sadistic instructor.
Jack Zoë.
Not only his twisted face flashed before my eyes within a snap, but the moment my eyes landed on the scrawny, sweaty and panicky soldiers strapped in light brown performing burpee's in front of the Jack with a grin as demonic as a voodoo instantly rehashed memories like opening a wound to flood my brain......
Wow......I remember having to wake up before the sun would kiss the surface, going to bed starving like an animal from the lack of nutrients and worst of all my body aching feeling as though my muscles where put in a meat grinder from pain trying to reform and build into a man from all the brutal workouts.........but alas being here everyday with my friends I wouldn't change a thing.
Instantly images and faces exploded in my head like paint on a canvas board remembering all the laughs and smiles expressed being here with Mike, Nile and even Moblit twenty four seven four days a week.........
Suddenly I begin to feel a smile form across my lips cherishing my friends and memories, but as my head was spinning on my friends my eyes landed on a blonde girl with locks pulled back into a high pony tail immediately luring my attention......
The blonde girl had no resemblance of Aurora's purity and beauty, but not only her hair the color of wheat captured my attention but the lack of strength exposed on her flesh highlighted how Aurora once was.
Her arms began to tremble back and forth as flimsily and weak as a paper straw, causing her body to tumble down like pulling the bottom layer of a pyramid landing face down on the ground with sweat layering her face like a cloth, but the most heart aching image was to see the disappointment and pain pierced in her eyes from weakness only causing me to compare those two.
My dear sweet Aurora........you lack so much in a solider when it comes to strength.
I remember how much you would cry and weep because you could never meet the qualifications of a solider.......but you where always so sweet to me. She always made sure I was improving and advancing.........even though she was always behind in everything
A gun shot was fired sounding as deadly as hearing as human scream for mercy from a monstrous titan, spooking everyone to rise on their feet as swiftly as a feather leaving the blonde girl to finish last with pain antagonize across her face looking as though she was stabbed with a sharp knife......
I am grateful to have meet a girl like Aurora........ but maybe I should have encouraged her a bit......just to make Aurora feel better that she was trying......but how could I?
I still haven't recovered from Father's death, I felt empty and meaningless about this life.
Admitting my feelings to Aurora was the hardest challenge I've ever encountered........
My mind was spinning about the past feeling as stumped as though unscrambling a twenty letter word, rethinking about my actions and decisions trying to come up with the best possible answer I could settle my nerves though screaming was erupted from the distance as mighty as a volcano causing the soldiers to start running in a line like ducklings, breaking away from my gaze which caused my heart to skip a beat from alarm.
I will not repeat my mistakes of the past. I've learned and become a little wiser about this life. I realize showing emotion and sympathy with others can impact them and forever change them in a way I least expect it.
Aurora has taught me to be kind to others and show them kindness......she is the reason I'm changing for the better.
A smile begins to paint across my lips remembering Aurora's full and fluffy lips formed into a smile as breath taking as the morning sun encouraged more strength to power me feeling as though I've drank a cup of coffee, energized to help the blonde girl in hopes I wouldn't make the same mistake.
"Hey!" I hollered to the girl, instantly grabbing her attention like a worm on a hook towards a fish, causing her to jump up in fright like a scared kitty cat with eyes swollen from alarm. "Keep working hard and I promise you, it will all eventually pay off." I reminded her passing a smile from bliss since my intentions came from the prettiest girl I knew inside and out, and solemnly she helped me become a better version of myself.
Instantly her cheeks redden as though she had a sunburn stained across her cheeks, though a smile was able to form across her lips even managing to reveal her teeth. "Thank you sir!" she squeaked like a little squirrel gathering nuts, immediately increasing her speed to reach the others where not a single soul was left behind.
Spotting the impact my tongue left on the woman caused my mind to freeze from astonishment feeling as though a grenade had exploded in my brain. I was utterly shocked to see how much words can embark action.
Incredible how words can impact our confidence......
This realization never occurred to me the usage of speeches when trying to enlighten others, simply because words don't influence my behavior.
I am strong enough to push myself, but seeing I've managed to provide motivation to this young women's s courage , I am fully aware of why this strategy is just as important as actions.
Both are effective figuratively and literally.
The further my horse pranced the closer I had reached the cadets up in the front, exhausted and out of breath sounding as though they had held their breath minutes underwater, but perhaps they would rather have done so since Jack was at the front.
There standing at the tip of the pyramid was the devil himself. Jack Zoë.
The moment my eyes landed on his deceiving dark brown eyes, tension built in my veins feeling as though I had pricked a thorn on a rose from his sudden appearance. Long face covered in beard with a jawline sharper than a knife just looking at him could kill you. Facial muscles turned and twisted into a nasty smirk instantly rehashed haunting memories that I thought I've conceal for good.
This man had forced me to whip Aurora's back until it was drenched in her own blood, scarring her for life now......
Her cries and scream echo through my head like a horn clouding my vision with fear I even felt my lungs shrivel and cramp as though their where tied in a rope just from the thought.
I will never forgive myself what I have done to Aurora.....
Suddenly I felt an urge of rage dominate my veins as though releasing a disease into city to quickly scatter and double amongst the people. I wanted Jack to scream the way Aurora cried in misery begging for me to stop, I wanted him to bleed until I would see his naked flesh rip apart looking as though wolf's would have torn through.......but my duties and responsibility where why I was here.
I am not here for revenge...nor if I wanted to commit such brutal actions, I would get caught and have to suffer the consequences meaning....my title and reputation would be stripped.
"We're just getting started here you filthy maggots!" Jack screamed with a smirk as wicked as the devil, revealing his large teeth as sharp and pointy like a wolf's growl he even reeked of alcohol mixed with smoke I could smell it a mile away.
Everyday Jack reeked of alcohol, but be managed to hold his drinks because not once did he collapse or seem off.
Sometimes I question was he drinking not only for the taste, but perhaps to heal a scar?
Immediately every single cadet twitched and fidgeting like a bugle filled with disturb even some whimpers of exhaustion where blew only to remind me not long ago I was in this scenario.....until his beady brown eyes as fearsome as a bear met mine.
Suddenly his entire face spun with thrill, dark brown eyes with strips of grey reaching his forehead, eyes expanded as large as a soccer ball, but the most terrifying feature was to see his thin lips create a grin as sadistic as a titan, looking at him caused goosebumps scatter along my forearm as though a spider was crawling up my skin from unease rising in my bloodstream the longer I stared at the devil.
One day, everything that Jack has done wrong to my beloved it will catch up with him......but for now I am here to complete a job.
Jack resumed his monstrous grin back towards his cadets, parting his lips open to allow his shout to be as loud as a gunshot being fired. "What the hell are you looking at? Start running!"
Without any hesitation every single cadet followed Jack's order as orderly as geese migrating to the south for winter. One by one men and women suited in their dark brown uniform jogging in a straight line like ducklings permitting me across to interact with my instructor.......and I would be lying if my stomach didn't drop to the bottom of my abdomen from fear to tango with the devil.
Remain calm, Erwin. I am only here for what I was assigned.
Nothing more, nothing less.
"Well I'll be damned." loudly chuckled Jack as roaring as hearing a cannon fire off, stomping closer towards my direction in no rush while his eyes fluttered up and down my body like a seesaw gazing at every angle. "Erwin Smith.......oh how I've missed you."
Once we both were in sync, I remove myself from my horse feeling my ankles chain to the ground where I could finish what I came here for without any distractions.
"Instructor Pavlov." I begin, inserting my palm into my jacket to remove a signed envelope transferring it to Jack announcing my arrival. "I am here under orders from Commander Shadis. He has assigned me to try and collect as many new soldiers into the Survey Corps branch."
Jack's eyes the color of a tree's bark remained stuck on me like glue though his lips thin as a parchment paper molded into a smirk reeking mischief even exposing his sharp pointy teeth as dangerous as a knife an instant wave of hesitation clouded my gaze.
Be strong Erwin...... I pose no threat to him.
Jack then snatched the envelope from my grip as roughly as a pelican chomping down on a fish, hastily tucking it under his armpit not even acknowledging the letter.
"Oh, I know." he boom like a firecracker causing his pupils to shimmer like crystals from excitement, only imagining how much this sicko enjoyed this game."And I have to say...I was rather giddy knowing I was going to be in the presence of Erwin Smith." he paused refusing to smear his naughty grin pinned across his lips, clanking his boots to the ground to cause the dirt to scatter from his steps, leaning his devilish face closer towards me.
The longer I had to interact with the man of my past only tipped more unhinge to boggle my head as though flies where circling my skull......he was repulsive like a worm and the more thrill he expressed caused more disgust to crawl up my throat.
I would be lying to myself if the past does bother me more than it should because justice could not be served, but what could I've done?
I'm not in the position I am today.......Jack would have thrown me out the minute I went against his will......
As much as it pains me to burry the past, but it needs to be done because my arrival isn't about the past......it's about the further and that's what I need to concentrate about.
"Unfortunately, the same can not be said about you..... Instructor...."
Jack continued to display a grin as horrifying as a titan across his thin lips, lowering his beastly eyes down my body frame ogling as though I was nude, providing more disgust to climb up my throat feeling as though vomit was right down the corner.
"Tell me, Erwin Smith. How's life treating you as a Survey Corps?......" he sneered with a snooty grin returning his wretched stare to level with mine. "It's not often I have visitors like yourself... especially ones that's bring up such arousing memories."
Hearing his voice deep as a gunshot whirl through my ears as powerful as a tornado, I felt my ears leak out with blood to hear his petrifying voice dance through my ear drum.
The only time Jack was intimidated by me when I was stepping in to save Aurora from his lust. Otherwise standing face to face with him as a fully grown man our strengthens and determination are substantially equal.....making neither one of us truly scared.
"Instructor Pavlov...I am not required to discuss my personal life, I'm here for one thing only." I deepen on my glare. "My assignment from Commander Shadis." I reinforced keeping my eye contact level wit his.
Jack scoffs with amusement tuned his voice sounding like as twitching as hearing glass shatter on concrete, belittling me as though I was his measly cadets to swiftly remove the envelope tucked in his armpit to break the bondage of the envelope.
Finally....
Jack lazily removes the letter from the envelope to flutter to the ground , purposely revealing the contents inside finding my gaze to be focused on the bottom of the hand written little asking for something that caused my lungs to forget how to expand
A signature?!
Shadis can't be serious. Treating me like a child, needing approval before returning back to Headquarters?
"Ironic isn't it, Smith."he chuckled with a broad grin, sounding as demonic as hearing blood gush out from a stab wound."A man so well-spoken by Commander Shadis, yet he needs my consent to verify you're doing your assignment right."
Piecing together the whole issue left me feeling as though none of my work, title nor experience meant nothing. I felt outraged and furthermore furious that I couldn't be trusted causing fury to thicken my bloodstream feeling as though dozens of wasps had stung every piece of open skin.
In order for me to get that signature of Jack's, I'll have to play whatever game he wants me too. It may consist of petty insults, trying every way to tear my dignity apart, and drain my confidence. He even might ask questions that he desperately wants to be answered.....since day one, Aurora...
So be it.....but I'm not giving in without a fight.
"He's just taking precaution, sir" I reply returning my gaze back to Jack, though each passed my tongue I felt as though I had to swallow a huge pill to accept this nonsense of a task.
"Now then." Jack spoke with a broad grin painted across his lips hearing thrill raised in his voice I couldn't tell what he was more excited to hear about. Aurora or me? "Why don't we have a drink and catch up for old times sake...shall we?" he proposed starting to make his way back to his office where I had to measly follow his lead like a puppy.....
This is so humiliating........
I toss all my frustration and anger aside though it felt like as though I had to swallow a thick chunk of meat because tolerating someone who I loath may be the hardest task I've ever complete because the longer I was with this man the more reason I had to walk away and never return.
Think of the future, Erwin.
Think about how these soldiers could potentially help achieve my dream......so I can give Aurora the world.
The walk to his office was silent as though our tongues had been ripped off from our mouth and the trail was deadly as though I've just entered hell itself.......but oddly Jack was as joyful as a bambi in spring, caused more disgust to developed on my tongue as though I ate a mildly piece of bread.
"So tell me, Erwin Smith." Jack began searching through his drawers trying to find a bottle with liquor inside looking as focused as though he was trying to unscramble a crossword. "How is Aurora lately...since the two of you were as tight as a knot as I remember." he asked grabbing a whiskey glass with barely enough liquid for a couple of sips.
He wants an answer, he'll get one
"Alive."
Jack inserted the tips bottle into his mouth using his teeth to grip the cork where he roughly yanked the sponge out from the bottle like a wolf tearing apart an injured bunny hearing a satisfying POP escape where next he lazily spit out the cork onto the floor where his buttocks found a seat in his chair.
"I was going for more than one syllable Smith." he grunted like an old toad with annoyance build in his tone sounding like long nails scratching a chalkboard, flinging his scrawny legs up on his wooden desk making himself comfortable to lean far back as the chair could hold him.
"Heahtly and alive." I answer feeling disturbance crawl up my spine and annoyance fused in my blood I felt as though flies were swarming my head by the lack of patience I had with this man.
Jack's long face spun with thrill, thin lips curling into a grin as naughty and playful as a tiger even his eyes the color of mud seem to twinkle from arousal.
"My my.....such a pity you are reserving your feelings to me about Aurora." he spoke with a voice as deep as the night's breeze, gobbling down the last drop of booze where his lips refuse to flatten from excitement. "Since you have such a hard time expressing yourself, I think I'll give it a try." Jack paused placing the empty bottle of whiskey on his desk where his eyes landed on mine only provoking discomfort to scrub my flesh as though slime was running down my neck.
This can't be good......
"Aurora Sinclair, the most innocent and sexiest girl I've ever met.....I would have done anything for her if she would have said "yes"!" Jack's grin continued to rise with triumph looking as victorious as winning a gold medal, facial muscles perked with energy, brown eyes the color of a leaf in fall shimmered like diamonds wishing he would just stop there......."Yet we've only kissed and nothing more! That little rodent!"
he grunted in anger transforming all his lust to be harden like a marble statue across his face looking as deadly as a wildfire burning down a forest, though oddly not even his psychotic break seemed to scare me.......it was what he said.
Hearing Jack's last breath breeze down my eardrum suddenly I felt my heart come to a complete stop from stun. I felt my lungs shriveled like leaving grapes in the sun feeling ache spazz in place from the refusal of breathing too overwhelmed to breath because oxygen was not important.
What.......this is outrageous. Aurora would never do unspeakable actions......
Jack is lying to toy with me, messing with my head to drive me insane. It's his speciality.
"Don't be delusional! Aurora would have told me, and I would have been there to save her!" I shot out from my seat as forcibly as I could causing the floorboard to rumble back and forth sounding as though lightening struck the ground, towering over Jack to feel heat sizzle of my flesh bothered by his sudden accusation. "I would rather fail my mission than to hear these false clause you have on Aurora."
Signature or not I'm done with this so called reunion!
"You should be thanking me Erwin....." he hissed as lowly as a snake strangely I heard even more pleasure soothe his tone feeling the hairs in my neck jump up from fright, though curiosity stimulated my bloodstream stopping my ankles to be weighed over his desk since I was keen to know the answer to this question.
He is insane proclaiming these sorts of judgment......or he's succumbing to any possible explanation for me not to leave.
"I beg your pardon?" I respired feeling my fingertips tingle from wonder as though I had stuck my hand in a fire by the sudden change of conversation.
Jack's broad smirk returned across his lips not even the devil himself could compete with mischief and horror pinned across his thin lips.
"It might be a little strange hearing it the first time, but once it settles in you might find yourself guilty for not giving me a thanks." he chuckled with arrogance tuned in his voice it sounded as though a hammer had thumped a nail from constant sound of his laughs.....but only more curiosity seemed to blossom in my veins wanting to hear the rest of the story.
What have I gotten myself into......is it wrong that I want to hear his explanation of his so called glory?
"It seems as though the two of you would never have transcended your relationship into romance simply because the two of you run in different social circles." he begun noticing his smirk only seemed to glow as bright as the moon the more I was silent and my ears did all the talking. "Aurora prettiest girl in the whole league had bachelors lining up at her feet wanting her hand, though she was puny and weak that attracted you.... You on the other hand Erwin, take great accomplishment with helping others even though you don't expect recognition or appreciation from your heroic actions, but you take the most satisfaction when it comes to saving a beautiful woman...like Aurora."
I can't believe I'm admitting this but Jack is right.......
I do take great comfort knowing I am capable to help the weaker because I feel like a hero, but it's no doubt it brings me closer to Aurora knowing I can protect her.
"Now interrupt me if I'm wrong Erwin, but I theorized your heroic is because every time you encounter an unfair situation a core memory from the past comes up as well.......perhaps bullying?" Jack paused slipping loud and tedious laughters to sound as obnoxious like a pig, but once again his words left me feeling vulnerable and weak I felt as though my heart had stopped from gloom. "A young blonde boy whose intelligence is far beyond comprehendible his piers belittle him since he was the odd one out."
Hearing Jack's despicable voice echo through my ear ripped and tore any ounce of confidence I had in me. I was a dead deer and he was a vulture, peaking and breaking any puddle of life I had in me I couldn't even bring myself to fight back......I was depleted from energy.
He speaks nothing but the truth.
Bullying carried with me all my years.
I just didn't want anyone especially someone as sweet as Aurora to feel as hopeless and pathetic as I felt everyday coming home from school.
Seeing as though I couldn't fight back encourage Jack's face to brighten and expand from energy looking as fresh as the first morning sip of coffee though he was fueled with horror and terror.
"I had to play the bad guy, tormenting, and picking on poor sweet innocent Aurora, because if it wasn't for my heinous actions you would never have the courage to speak to her. The two of you come from different worlds and without me there never would have been an Aurora and Erwin." Jack finalized his speech sounding as though he blew out the flame from a burning candle, leaving goosebumps to trail my forearm as though spiders where crawling up my skin blown away from his words I though my brain was stuck in glue from shock.
There is truth to what Jack's says.
Aurora is so beautiful she was intimidating to talk to because I knew I wasn't the only want who wanted her, but when I saw Aurora in trouble or she needed help I swallowed my fear and I wanted to recuse her because I exactly know how she felt at those times.....
I didn't want anyone to feel like I did when I was bullied.
"I will sign that letter Erwin, but I just want you to remember the importance I played in your relationship." Jack pulled out a pen from one of his drawers focusing his attention on the line needing his name drafted. "It's just a shame the two of you both are not open for a threesome." he chortled as creepily as hearing a titan scream, scribbling his hand against the parchment paper as the ink dotted the print causing more ideas to spark my head.
Despite Aurora's beauty I do find her astonishing. I adore how gentle and sweet she is to everyone. Aurora works hard for what she wants. She's honest, truth worthy and she's just as curious as me.
I always find myself in a better mood when I'm with her because she's optimistic and cheerful. Physical attraction is not only what binds us in a relationship, but interest and personalities play a major role.
Suddenly all the deadness and waste dried up in my body seemed to have risen making me feel as though I had drank water when I was dehydrated. I had energy and strength regained back in me, I felt motivated and I had a reason not to stay quite anymore.
I wanted to fight not for myself, but for the one person that makes this life worth living for.
"Your wrong Jack. There are so many other things I love about Aurora and what makes her beautiful inside just as she is on the outside. You can theorized as much as you want, but the fact is she is mine and nobody will ever take her away from me."