I couldn't believe it. My baby. My bundle of joy that Dean had given me. It was a boy. I loved him. Now I could start looking for names.
I went straight home to Seth.
"IT'S A BOY!" I exclaimed, jumping into his arms.
"You found out already?" He asked.
"Seth, I saw him. I saw him in there. I saw his little head. Oh, you should've been there. He was so beautiful."
Seth smiled. "I'm happy for you babe. The only thing that would make me happier is if it was mine." My mood dropped and my smiled faded. "I'm sorry." He said quickly, "I shouldn't have said that."
"No, it's okay." I said. "You know you can talk to me about it, right?"
He shook his head, "It's better for both of us if I keep my mouth shut." He said.
I sighed, "I want you to tell me." I said, causing a surprised look on his face. "I want to understand what you're feeling." I said. I still received a silent reaction. "I need to, Seth. I need to so that I can know what to do about it."
He stayed silent, but nodded. He sighed, "It's really hard to be with you when you have feelings for another man."
We both stopped and stared at each other for a moment. I nodded, "Okay."
"And I really have a problem with the fact that you're having a baby with him." He continued.
"Seth....."
"And I really have a problem with the fact that you used to be able to turn to me and tell me anything. Now you can't." He said. "I love you. I really don't wanna feel like I can't be with you, but then I think of Dean. When you two have this baby, you guys will be a family. You'll both have a son. And he'll look to his mom and his dad for anything and you guys will be there for him. Both of you. Together."
"Seth, you're not out of the picture here." I said, sitting next to him on the couch. "You'll be a part of this."
"How?"
"He'll love you, Seth. And I know that because you're an amazing person with an amazing heart. You cheer people up. You put a smile on their face. You'll be there for him." I said, fully confident in everything I said, "My child will love you, Seth. No matter who's he is."
Seth nodded. "What about your feelings for Dean?" He asked.
I sighed, "I understand that you have a problem with it, but Seth, you have to understand. I can't control my feelings for him."
"I know." He said.
I gently touched his hand, "But it doesn't matter what I feel for him, it matters what I feel for you." I saw his face lighten up at my touch. He looked at me and slightly smiled. "Dean's gone, okay? And even if he was here, it wouldn't make a difference. Because yes, I do have feelings for him. But no, it wasn't the same as before."