I woke up the next morning to a shivering going down my spine from kisses Harry was trailing down my neck. I used my hand to shoo him away, gaining a light chuckle from him. As soon as I was facing him he attacked my lips with his. I smiled into the kiss, being happy that last night had happened. Most of all, I was happy that he stayed.
"Harry," I giggled as he playfully nibbled on my neck. "I need to see if my dad's home. You need to stay in here...and be quiet."
I got up from the bed and went to my dresser, bending down to reach the bottom drawer. Harry groaned behind me. Well maybe he shouldn't stare. I took out a pair of baggy sweatpants and pulled them up, rolling up the top. Afterwards I shed Harry's t shirt and replaced it with a tank top, making sure it was showing some skin below my belly button to make it look like I'd been sleeping in it. I pressed my finger to my lips, signalling for Harry to be quiet as I slinked out of the room, closing the door behind me, and down the hall.
When I got to the kitchen, I heard the clink of a coffee mug and knew that my dad was home. I mean, who else would it be? He looked up at me questioningly.
“Morning Dad,” I said politely.
“Morning kiddo,” he replied with a smile.
“Is something wrong? You looked at me kind of funny…”
“Nothing’s wrong, sweetheart. I was just wondering why your hair wasn’t up. You’ve never slept with it down since you were twelve.”
“I was so exhausted last night that I fell asleep whilst I was studying and I didn’t get to my hair.”
He nodded, seeming to believe my lie. Well this isn’t so bad. He’s not interrogating me like I had thought he might.
“Well, I better get going. I have the seven o’clock shift today,” he announced.
“Okay. See you later Dad.”
“See ya, honey.”
He dumped his cup in the sink, grabbed his lab coat, and was out the door. Once I heard the car pull out of the drive and speed away, I let out a massive sigh of relief. Thank the heavens, he didn’t suspect a thing! I don’t usually lie to anyone, but I couldn’t exactly tell him about what happened last night, now can I? Well, I could, but he would flip his lid and that is not a sight that I’d like to see anytime soon.
I quickly remembered that I had left Harry in my room and needed to tell him the coast was clear. Making my way back to the steps, I couldn’t help but replay the past night’s events in my head. Everything happened so fast. It was all in the spur of the moment, as they say. Did I really even feel that way about him? Did he really feel that way about me, or was he just trying to get into my pants? Ugh, so many questions are making my brain hurt. I don’t know the answer to any of them and it’s quite frustrating.
As I opened the door, I immediately noticed Harry getting his clothes on. My cheeks began to heat up as a blush crept up on them. The way his muscles contracted with every move was just invigorating.
Wait…what am I talking about? Have I gone mental? I’m beginning to think so. We hated each other, didn’t we? How did we end up in this situation? Why am I having such preposterous thoughts about this boy that is basically a stranger to me? I know nothing about him and he slept in my bed almost naked with his arm around my waist. The most intriguing portion of this to me is the fact that I allowed it to happen. What was I thinking? Oh, that’s right, I wasn’t thinking.
“Harry, I… I’m sorry about,” I started to say.
“Don’t apologise for what happened last night. It stays between us, okay? This never happened.”
“How am I supposed to act like it never happened? It did happen and that’s the reality of it. I haven’t been able to properly process it yet, but I know that it happened.”
“Just forget about it.”
“I can’t! I almost lost my virginity to you last night and you expect me to forget that? I will never forget that.”
At that moment, something happened that I definitely was not prepared for. I mean, it seriously caught me off guard. Harry’s hands gently cradled my face as mine held onto his wrists. Our lips were sealed together with the exception of his tongue exploring my mouth. The kiss was slow and sweet, like it was from a movie or I was having a serious, amazingly lifelike dream. He pulled away and glanced at me for but a second before walking straight past me out the door. I turned around as I watched him head toward the steps.
“Harry, wait.”
He stopped in his tracks, but he didn’t dare to look at me.
“What was that?”
“A mistake.”
Before I could come up with a response, he was already down the staircase and out the front door. I opened my blinds and looked outside as he got into his black SUV that was parked across the street and drove off. Maybe he’ll be at school… I can talk to him there. Well, maybe. Only if I can get him to listen and answer without running off. Why did he do that in the first place? It made no sense.
As I changed for school, all I could think about was him. He was the nonstop thought rushing through my mind, never ceasing the slightest bit. It sounds odd to me and it feels odd to say it, but I think I liked that kiss. I think I liked the fact that he held me close to his almost-bare body and made me feel safe. I think I liked the simplicity of how he held himself. Maybe my problem wasn’t hating him, but it was not allowing myself to believe that I could actually like him.
Harry was not my type…if I even have one. He was part of the crowd you’re warned to not hang out with when you’re younger and all throughout the rest of your life. He had so many tattoos that I don’t think you could even count them if you tried. He had a lip ring. On top of all that is the fact that he just looks like bad news.
But maybe that’s why I liked him. Maybe the pure fact that he was different made me attracted to him. Maybe the ink covering his skin made me interested to find out the story behind each piece of art permanently imprinted on his body. Maybe it was the mysterious vibe he always gave off. Maybe it was how he could be so crude and violent one minute and as gentle and tender as a teddy bear the next. Or maybe it was the fact that he didn’t care what people thought of him; he just did what he wanted. He is independent and that takes a lot of balls to do, but he’s doing it because he just wants to be himself and nobody else.
Am I actually considering that I like Harry? Nah, I can’t. But maybe I can…
Well, you wouldn’t be having so much trouble deciding if you didn’t like him.
Good point…So then I guess I do like him…but he obviously doesn’t like me.
That’s what you think.
Okay, now I’m talking to a voice in my head. It’s official, I have gone mental; there’s no turning back now. Well, I guess I’m on my way to face the music.
After stuffing my phone in my pocket, I picked up my keys and raced down the steps. Once I grabbed my bag, I was out the door and on my way to the car. I got in and buckled up quickly, pulling out of the drive right after.
* * *
Once again, I was late to school. Does the universe just hate me or something? Seriously, I just can’t win with anything. I can’t be to school on time, I can’t behave properly at a party, and I can’t get the guy I like. He was probably blinded by lust or some stupid shit. Ugh, I need to calm down.
I got out of my car and grabbed my bag. Just as I shut my door, someone spun me around and pushed me back against it. I looked up horrified until my eyes were met with beautiful green ones. A sigh left my mouth as I realised it wasn’t a rapist or some mugger.
“Come with me,” he whispered as if someone else could’ve heard him even though we were completely alone.
I nodded in response and followed him to his car. He motioned for me to get in and instead I took a step back.
“Where are we going?” I asked cautiously.
“Away from here…just for a little bit, then I’ll bring you back to the school.”
“Okay,” I agreed quietly.
This was just so bizarre. First he almost slept with me, then he kissed me, then he said it was a mistake, and now he wants me to skip school with him. It feels like I’m on a damn rollercoaster and I wish there weren’t any ups and downs, just a straight path. But that would never work ‘cause there’d have to be a chain on the whole thing. I guess I just have to hold on tight if I’m willing to take the ride.
Harry pulled out of the schools parking lot and started to drive off to God knows where. I wish he would stop being so stubborn and just tell me; it’d be much easier for me to handle at least. Then again, why would he care if I could handle it or not?
“Harry, where are we going?” I prodded.
“You’ll see soon,” was his short response without even glancing over at me. He just stared straight ahead even though it was a red light.
And soon it was that the car came to a stop in front of an old abandoned building. There were weeds growing on the building and a tree coming through the window. Let’s just say it’s been here a long time. But why did Harry bring me here?
All of the sudden, I heard Harry’s seatbelt getting unbuckled. As soon as I turned to face him, his lips were on mine. I closed my eyes, being completely blinded by the situation. Common sense finally kicked in and I pushed him back.
“What’s wrong?” he asked confused.
“Why are you kissing me? You told me it was a mistake this morning…”
“It still is a mistake…a big one…but I couldn’t take it any longer…so I brought you away where no one will ever know.”
“Why can’t anyone know? That’s what I don’t get.”
“It’s complicated, okay? There’s a lot of things I can’t tell you and probably never will be able to, but what I can tell you right now is that I…I’m attracted to you. I don’t know why, but I am and it’s not good, but I don’t care at the moment.”
“So, tomorrow you’re just going to go back to hating me, right?”
“I never hated you…I’m trying to distance myself from you.”
“Why?”
“I’m not a good person, Jade. That’s all you need to know.”
“Well, I don’t agree with that.”
“Fine, you can disagree. But can we do less talking? There’s only so much time we have here…”
“I am not doing it with you in a car.”
“That’s not what I meant, but I’ll accept that challenge for some other time…”
“Some other time? Does that mean you’re going to be sneaking around with me?”
“I shouldn’t, but I can’t stop wanting to see you...” Harry leaned over so close that his lips brushed against mine with every word he said, “To kiss you…”
I ignored my conscience that was telling me this was a horrible idea and pressed my lips to his. Soon enough I found myself crawling over the centre of the front of the car and onto his lap. I sat with my legs on either side of his, basically straddling him. Harry’s hands held to my waist, pulling me closer to him.
This, what we were doing, it was wrong. Even though I didn’t know his reasons for it, I just had a feeling that it was wrong. As I was slightly distracted by my thoughts, Harry’s hands moved down my body and now cupped my bum in them. He squeezed lightly causing me to whimper into our kiss.
No one has ever touched me like this. I never let anyone touch me like this or even remotely close to it. So why was I okay with him doing it? I couldn’t understand why it hadn’t seemed to have an effect on me with him.
A small moan escaped my mouth as his fingers found their way to my sensitive area under my cotton shorts and started rubbing it. My hand blindly reached out and moved his away.
“Why won’t you let me make you feel good?”
“If you want me, you have to earn it.”
“I don’t have to do all that to make you feel good,” he smirked.
“You have to earn it,” I stated sternly.
“And why must I ‘earn’ it? Why can’t I just do it? You’re not losing your virginity or anything.”
“I may be inexperienced in that particular area, but I’m not stupid. I know what you’re talking about and you still have to earn it.”
“So…how do I do that?”
“Don’t try anything and just take this slow. Let me enjoy this moment since I don’t know when or if it’s going to happen again.”
“It will happen again, just maybe not here or at this time. But trust me, this won’t be the last time…I can guarantee that.”
“So, you admit that you fancy me?”
“I admit that we shouldn’t be doing this. I admit that I’m a complete idiot for sneaking around with you. But I never said that fancied you, I only said it was a bad idea.”
“Then do you, or don’t you?”
“I don’t know… you’re just…interesting and very fit.”
“Wow. Okay… You can take me back now.”
“Now you’re over reacting. Think about it. Why would I bring you to some rundown building in secret if I didn’t fancy you?”
“Just to get in my pants, hello!”
“It may look like that, but it’s not true.”
“So then tell me why we suddenly can’t be seen together.”
“You were right; it’s time to go back. Get back in your seat,” he snapped.
Sheesh, I ask one question and he turns all tense and secretive. I need to know now and I’m going to find out. How could someone who looks so fearless be hiding from something, or someone, rather, unless they had something to be afraid of?