Aurora's POV
Today was Erwin's twenty-first birthday. Another year has passed where this extraordinary man has lived another year and has gained so much experience and wisdom about life.
Like every birthday of his, I want it to be the best day of the year for him because his special days comes only once a year and Erwin deserves all the recognition and praise on his very special day....
Though the mere thought about this day arriving brings me nothing but happiness, but part of me also has some negative energy about it coming...
On this day of Erwin's, I'm obligated to give hm a present that once was in the palms of his long-forgotten mother....
It's not that I don't want to give him the present, in fact, I'm honored that Stephen thinks I should be the one to give it to him...it's just I'm not entirely sure how Erwin will respond towards the item since his mother is such a sensitive topic....
I know this situation is a gamble on Erwin's emotions, I'm predicting it's a fifty-fifty chance, how he will respond.
Once I will bestow the book on him he's either going to be as happy as a blooming sunflower in the spring or shattered and crushed like throwing a ball through glass...
I have been so worried and anxious these last couple of days not only about Erwin's reaction but more importantly what effect this book might have on mental health....
I was so frighten about his safety that I was even contemplating whether or not should I even give him the book....but I couldn't do that to him. Erwin deserves the right to know about the existence of the book and it's context...
Even though it scares me to death what I have to do I just have to be there for him......through the thick and thin.
I will in fact give him the book despite his end game, but I want to give him the gift of happiness. I want to build a memory with him that he will forever cherish and remember....
This happiness of his will guide him through any difficult times he will be facing.
He'll remember that on his twenty-first birthday he received a book written by his mother wanting all the love and support for him.
So with the little time left in the day, I decided to surprise Erwin with a horse ride outside of Hermina districts to leave his problems alone and unattended for one night and giving him the chance to eat and drink a mourner watering meal as we lye on the open fields of the fresh green grass.
With this spontaneous idea bubbling in my head of going for a midnight ride, so much energy, and excitement flow into my blood, I nearly forgot why I was so nervous in the first place because I was so excited about pleasing Erwin....
The last time Erwin and I had this must alone time together it was when we were visiting Mr.Eagle and his book store.....that was five months ago.
I was determined and strong minded like a bee not wanting to mess up this night and make everything perfect for him. Erwin deserves the world...I'm just his little stump to grab it...
October the fourteen had easily reached my calendar since I was so busy with cleaning duty in headquarters. Mopping, sweeping, dusting, just work that killed your back...
Once I was finished with my assigned duties, I plunge right into tonight.
This means I needed the most important quality for humans...which is food.
I started by quietly sneaking into the kitchen to steal some dinner, so once Erwin finishes his shift we can straight away transition towards our midnight ride.
All the ladies and gentlemen in the kitchen were so busy with trying to cook and prepare dinner for hungry wolves known as Survey Corp soldiers, they hardly even noticed me.
I should probably bring something easy to carry in a basket....like a solid.
Not something that needs to be in a container.
Before fully entering the kitchen I wanted to be extra cautious they wouldn't notice some, so I disguise myself as one of its own members.
A kitchen maid with a white apron and a big ladle in my pocket.
Soldiers are strictly prohibited to enter heaven unless given direct orders to help, so I made sure not to act suspicious....
I started by checking what was inside the large pots being cooked seeing what was being prepared for tonight's meal as though I was a chief critic and they needed my opinion.
Mmhh, boiled potatoes?...Nah...they really are only good when they're fresh.
I kept snooping around the area like a doggie trying to hunt for its bone...until I hit the mother load. The pantry.
I managed to find goodies that make your mouth drool just from the thought how scrumptious they are, and best of all it was delicious at room temperature.
I softly closed the door behind me, so hopefully no one was watching me or saw me enter.
I snuck under my shirt a whole loaf of fluffy french bread, and a small circle of brie cheese the size of your hand which I managed to hold, and lastly I held in my other hand a vine of green grapes.
I still had some room in my body to hide some food in, which I was thinking to get some treats for our horses.
We can't forget about our noble steeds,. now can we?
I placed down the cheese for a moment as I grabbed two delicious red apples and managed to stuff them down into my bra now really making my breast stand out.
Once I was finished placing some food around my body, I then examine my body like a dead corpse trying to look for any other possible ways to sneak any food.
Of course! My pockets!
I then managed to fit two more red apples, but this time it was in my front pockets of my jeans. One on the right and one on the left.
Okay perfect! Now we'll need something to cut with and spread with!
Before finishing my little quest, I had borrowed some silverware. a knife and a fork which I stuffed down the back pockets of my jeans.
Once I had my treasures stashed in those secured areas, I causally walk out from the cabinet strolling like I was in a field of flowers, careless and free.
I was trying so hard not to look suspicious, but obviously, I was doing a horrible job at it.
It was so noticeable seeing a blonde girl having some borrowed items neatly stuffed in my clothes, and my clothes adapted to the shape of the object which I looked utterly ridiculous.
Thankfully no one had the time to noticed me, since everyone was occupied with trying to serve the soldiers ...
Once I passed the hardest part of all, I tossed my apron back on its hook and rushed straight up back to my dorm not daring to look back.
Surprisingly my disrupted running didn't alarm anyone, or I didn't manage to get caught...it was as smooth as spreading butter on some fresh fluffy bread.....
Once I was back in my dorm secured and safe without causing any alarms, I carefully release all my treasure onto my bed as gravity takes its place causing all the goodies to scramble over my bed.
Perfect! Now I need to find something to hold everything...
I once more began my search, but this time it was in my room. Something big enough but yet easy to carry.
The kind of girl I was I definitely had some sort of transportation for food, but I just needed to find it...
Wait I remember!
Place neatly in my closet was a beige woven basket that reminded me of the shape of a ring.
The handle of the basket was thin but extremely wide, easy for your arm to rest and hold. Circling to the bottom of the basket was round and full completing the circle.
Once I grabbed my basket, I jumped right into packing the food, but before starting my adventure I needed to put the most important item first.
Erwin's gift.
I bent down to the ground reaching under my bed as I slide my hand on the cold wooden creaky floorboard trying to reach and grab the square shaped object....
Once my fingers grasp the thin book, I quickly snatch it back up like a hawk grabbing a mouse from the ground.
Hmmm....I wonder if I could wrap it for him, so he doesn't see his present right away...
I rested the book on my bed, and I once more head over to my closet in hopes I can find some sort of brown paper and string to tie it...
Nothing! Absolutely nothing I could find in my closest that was relevant to parchment paper or material I could use to cover something...but luckily I was witty enough to come up with an idea on how to wrap it.
I took one of my grey button-up blouses that was hanging up and slide the book inside my shirt, it was as though I was wrapping a baby in a blanket. Once it was secured with the fabric I took the long sleeves and tied a neat bow in the middle of it.
It's not perfect, but it will do!
Once it was wrapped like a Christmas present I placed it on the bottom of the basket and start to pile the rest of the treasures on top.
I made sure to not squish the bread by leaning it against the sides of the basket as I had placed the cheese and grapes in the middle.
Lastly, I grabbed two blankets. One for us to sit on and spread all the food on the ground and the other one was used to bundle up if it gets chilly.
Once everything was packed neatly like going on a trip, a sudden thought triggered my mind like shooting a pistol.
Of course! We need something to drink!
I once more bend down under my bed since it was where I kept all my treasures....and hidden in my treasure chest was a bottle of pinot grigio, but I made sure it was kept underneath everything. Meaning I made sure the wine was under the floorboard where it was hidden from our naked eye.
I remove the wooden floorboard from the ground and clutched the glass bottle of tasteful white wine.
Also in my little treasure chest, I kept a wine bottle opener, which I made such and grabbed it as well.
I stand back up on my feet and neatly placed the wine and the wine opener in the basket with its other friends.
Okay, I couldn't find cups, but I have food, silverware, drinks....I think that's all I need!
Now time for the hardest part....what to wear.
I once more glide back over to my closest, as I begin to examine all my clothes that were hanged up, studying hard much harder than taking a test, on what I should wear.
Hmm...I wanna wear a dress since it's a special occasion, but it's getting cold outside.
I drift over to my section of winter clothes pushing past all my skirts, as my hand starts to rummage through all my sweaters...until I found exactly what I was looking for.
A sweater dress! Perfect!
A bright smile beams from delight knowing how appropriate this dress fitted tonight's occasion and not to mention how excited I am to please Erwin with my image of wearing something beautiful....
This dress in particular was something not a lot of females had owned...since most of my clothes were priceless or unheard of.
Like I said before it's a sweater dress. Its material resembled a sweater, but the length came all the way down to my ankles.
It had a modest v-cut down my chest, not exposing too much but just enough representing I was a female . Along the v-neck of the dress, held three large brown buttons on the left side of my breast in case I was feeling cold to cover up, which would stop at my neck.
The color of the dress was absolutely radiant. The color was a called coral, but I have no idea what that is...but the color is magnificent it's pink but it's a rather tender and gentle color to look at. It's a color where you just wanna bath in it.
The last quality of the dress was the cut and endpoint. The dress indeed stopped at my ankles but there was a slit starting from my knee to my ankle, exposing some skin, making it easier to walk.
I quickly changed out of my old uniform and slip into this dazzling piece of clothing...that suited my light pale snowy skin...
This sweater dress desperately called for long boots, but my uniform boots didn't quite match the dress.
The dress was elegant and beautiful....my work boots were basic, the boots I needed were heels more specific brown leather boots, and thankfully Lynne had the solution for me.
Lynne has long brown leather boots that reached to your knees with four inches added to the heel, making me taller and feel invincible...
Since my outfit represented elegance I wanted to improve some work on my face but many girls especially men would beg to differ. Over all I didn't have much products to improve my face but thankfully there where ones that made me shine brighter than a star.
I firstly applied the leftover black mascara remaining from Bianca's wedding dying my blonde lashes black to expose how thick and long they where but more so the black color painted against my lashes caused my green eyes to sparkle more from the intense color around it.
I only had a few shades of lipstick given makeup was hard to come by, outlining my pink lips towards a darker pink with a hint of redness.
Lastly I had brushed out my long silky blonde hair allowing it to part in the middle, as my locks would fall to my waist....
If I do say so myself I looked more stunning than before having such items laid upon my body.
I had brown leather boots adding four inches to my height making me even more noticeable, the light pink dress wrapped around my skin wasn't blending in too much with my skin tone in fact making me glow like an angel.
My eyelashes where noticeable and striking but of the black cosmetic added to it along with making my green eyes shine like an emerald....
I was beyond ready to surprise the love of my life with a night out, just the two of us alone together and not having to worry about anything. His position, his title, name....he just can focus on the thing that matters most...himself, Erwin Smith.
"Aurora, wait!" stopped Nanaba with an anxious look.
My feet instantly halt like I was stuck in quicksand, since I was far more curious and I could spare a few seconds.....
"Nanaba?"I turned back around directly facing her with a puzzled look. "What's the matter."
Nanaba's blue eyes met my body and appearance as she expressed a gleaming smile gazing at how beautiful I was.
Just wearing a stunning skin tight dress and just a tad bit of makeup also letting her fresh cleaned hair down, can change a woman.
"Mike and I, have a little something for Erwin." she happily tweeted holding some parchment paper that was shaped like a circle.
Awee...that's so sweet of her.
She smiled happily gently placing the present in the basket, and then looked back into my eyes still gleaming with radiance.
"It's the least we can do for him..." she smiled sweetly like candy. "After everything, he's done for us."
Hmm...it's small and in the shape of a circle? What could it possibly be???
My curiosity was itching like a bug bite, I wanted to know what they managed to get for Erwin...making me re-think I should have bought him something.
"I'm just curious Nanaba, what did you get him?" I asked, examining the object even more trying to come up with ideas of what possibly could be it....
I can't think of anything.
Nanaba once more smiled at the fact how cute I was trying to piece together what was it, looking like a small lab with its ears perked up and eyes widen with curiosity.....
"It's paprika sausage." she clearly told me, still with a bright smile not even without trying to hide it. "Actually, Mike was the one who came up with the idea to get him some sort of meat." she leaned closer to me. "He just needed the extra help on purchasing it." she winked with an adorable smile.
Awh....that's so nice of them.
My blood was filling with so much happiness and emotions hearing how thoughtful Nanaba and Mike was thinking of Erwin on his special day.
Knowing Erwin this is the type of item that will satisfy Erwin. He's really picky on certain things.
You can't go wrong on meat.
"Well, tell Mike he did a fantastic pick!" I stated enthusiastically slipping a few giggles, overjoyed knowing how much happiness it'll bring Erwin.
Nanaba nodded still gleaming a radiant smile.
"Will do!" she tweeted as happily as a song bird.
We both embrace one other with a tight hug before going our separate ways...because without each other we would be lost....
I made my way over towards the conference room, thinking he might be there with Commander Shadis talking amongst one another, but once I popped my head in the doorway there was not a single human being present.
I then decided to check around some other rooms where Erwin could possibly be.
Shadis's office, the storage room, the book room that is strictly only allowed for Leaders and our Commanders, but every place I checked he wasn't there...
I really was on the verge of giving up and going back to Erwin's dorm and just to wait for him there.
My feet were hurting from walking in heels and not to mention I was building up a sweat trying to find a man with blonde hair and wedges for eyebrows.
"Miss. Sinclair?" said a charming and handsome voice behind me.
Hearing such a manly voice echo behind me caused my heart to stop because, that voice is only known for authority and leadership....
I hastily turn around having am irregular heart beat as sweat started to form across my forehead knowing exactly who was presence....
"Commander Shadis!" I breathed with a light blush from his unexpected arrival, wearing a rather worried expression.....
Shadis's brown eyes immediately eyed me up and down like reading a book curious as to why I wasn't in uniform.
"Going somewhere, Miss.Sinclair." he asked with a more calmer voice, eyes mellow and soften reminding me how relaxing the sunset was.
Even though Shadis was in fact as calm as Erwin, still anxiety and pressure throbbed the back of my head like a hammer causing cold sweat to slide down my back
Shadis himself doesn't mean any harm, but his position as my Commander is intimidating....
He was the highest position in this branch and I was obligated to talk to my commander other than work, which easily pricked my anxiety making my tongue swell in a hot knot.
I don't know why I get so nervous with him! Kieth is not a bad guy...it's just because he's my Commander and the only relationship I have with him is strictly business...
I smile, but a rather weird one not as enthusiastic as usually. I was nervous about his presence and knowing how high his position was just makes me uncomfortable....
"Yes...sir..." I reply weakly, trying to hold a smile because it wasn't his fault....
Shadis closely watched me, but in a nicer form. Nothing harsh or mean, just observing.
"If I might ask, where are you going?" he questioned rather friendly with a calming smile since his intentions mean well.
More color burst in my cheeks, knowing it's going to be highly delicate what comes out from my mouth next.
"Today's......is....Erwin's....birthday...sir." I stuttered a few times, feeling really uncomfortable talking to him other than work. "I...wanted to surprise him with dinner and a midnight ride..." I ended my lower lip quivering having fear take control of my words.....
I somewhat managed to get the words out from my mouth, and raised the basket up showing Shadis the dinner.
Shadis released a surprised look, once I finished my sentence not knowing today's is his right hand's man's birthday.
"Today's the day?" he repeated rather stunned like a lemon caught in his throat. "I had no idea!"
I nodded my head, ensuring he was correct.
I wonder why Erwin didn't say anything? Erwin's been Shadis's wingman for three years...obviously, he should know this.
Shadis took a moment of silence just thinking to himself about how he could have forgotten...or he was never told...
Anyways...he might have seen Erwin recently.
Strangely thinking about Erwin, had caused all my fear and anxiety to disappear like dust... him alone is my bandage to any of my problems....
"Sir, I was wondering if you knew where he was?" I kindly ask, having my anxiety disappeared quickly since I was more worried about something far more important than fear. A man, "I can't seem to quite find him..."
Shadis obviously wasn't listening as he was so focused on his thoughts.....
I wonder what triggered him to be so lost in thoughts...I mean I think Erwin would understand if you were to wish him a late happy birthday, but knowing Erwin he really doesn't care about his birthday anyway.
So why is Shadis like this....
"Sir?" spoke a handsome voice from behind me, nearly making my spine melt from how smooth and creamy it was.
Goosebumps trail my skin, hearing how pleasing his voice can be under certain circumstances.
Shadis and I both look over towards the source of the noise and see a tall handsome blonde standing right behind me, wearing a rather calming look.
A bright smile shines from my lips, once my eyes witness a long-faced, blonde man.
Erwin....my love.
"Erwin!" I breathed happily, setting down the basket and blankets opening my arms to embrace him with all my loving....
I rush over towards him, flinging myself onto his chest like a fly to greet him with a loveable hug...
"Happy Birthday, my love." I cried happily, nuzzling my face in his chest along with some gentle kisses, expressing all my love for him.
Erwin on the other hand didn't embrace this moment or savor it as passionate as I was.
Erwin responded with minimum affection, just quickly wrapping his arms around me, and then slowly released me. Reminding me of how we started our relationship. Very short and brief.
"Aurora...." he began releasing his hug around me. "Thank you for that kind message..." he said plainly patting my back like I was a good doggie once my body drifted from his.
A little energy drains from me like a bathtub, noticing how short Erwin's actions were with me causing me to also lower my head...
Figures...Shadis's is present.
Erwin still remained cold as tense as marble, not wanting to exploit his feelings in front of his commander...
"Sir...do you need anything?" Erwin asked with direct eye contact, pushing me aside like a flimsy piece of paper....
Shadis, on the other hand released a tiny smile noticing our behavior and how we acted so formally around him.
"Actually Erwin, there is something I would like you to do for me" Shadis took a few steps forward closer to Erwin....
What? But...it's his birthday....
Shadis placed a hand on Erwin's shoulder firmly and began.
"I want you to enjoy yourself on your birthday, Erwin." he paused as he fell completely serious but with good intentions. "I'm worried about your health, mentally. You've been working far too hard as my right-hand man. Late nights in my office discussing and researching." he paused without breaking eye contact.
"You're a young man whose life has just begun... you're drowning yourself with work and this is causing you to miss the best moments in your life..."
Shadis motioned with his brown eyes, pointing over towards me, and then looks back at Erwin.
Erwin still remained awfully strict and stoned since his emotions don't easily tend to crack often.....even harder when he's with an official.
"I'm advising you as a friend Erwin, not as your Commander," he said with a humble smile, hoping Erwin would warm up. "Sometimes it's good to allow yourself time to find pleasure in other things than work."
Erwin was awfully quiet not entirely sure how to respond to Shadis's heart warming message, since those two only have a relationship strictly business....
Erwin nodded understanding Shadis's words phrases but the real question was, did Erwin take his advice into consideration.....
Shadis smiled once more into Erwin's ocean blue eyes and then patted him firmly on the shoulder as though he was a good boy retrieving his stick.
Realizing how support and caring our Commander was only caused more happiness to flourish in my veins causing me to release such a warm and gentle smile.
Aweee that is so sweet of our Commander.....
I was so full of joy and happiness knowing other than our friend group, there was another intelligent man in this world who has the care and respect for Erwin.
I'm so happy Erwin has someone else other than his friends....
Shadis dark brown eyes fell on my dazzling green ones.
"And you Aurora." Shadis paused his sentence taking in my beauty and gawking at my appearance.
"Erwin's choice in woman is far beyond exceptional." he complimented kindly with a humble smile......but then he quickly started to drift away seeing as though he had lingered too much...
Hearing Shadis's sudden comment caused all on my body spike up from amazement, because was it not only a delightful compliment but one that you don't hear often...... especially by your Commander.
That was so kind of him...I can not believe he would say something like that... especially good about me.
Erwin how emotionless he can be, also released a rather shocking look from Shadis's last sentence....making him think and wonder his true intentions towards me.
As Shadis suddenly started to drift further and further away like a life wrath out to sea the more my head started to analyze and think about our Commander.
Shadis might not be the Commander I dreamt about as far as having the potential to achieve greatness, but he has a heart that is worth gold...
The more I thought about Commander Shadis and his character the more respect I started to build for him, because not a lot especially men have empathy....
Shadis has made the mistake as far as not agreeing with Erwin's logic and strategy, but he has a heart that makes up for it....
As my mind was dancing with thoughts, Erwin had managed to bring me down to reality since his nose was starting to pick and view the contents of the goodies....
"What do we have here?" Erwin questioned with a tiny smile, finding himself in a playful mood. "A basket just for me?"
I snap from my thoughts, from Erwin's charming voice causing my green eyes to drift towards a handsome blonde, seeing him glow with happiness along with adventure.....making him even more alluring....
Seeing Erwin in a playful mood like a child, only brought a smile to my face filled with excitement.
"Well, it's someone's birthday today." I smile slipping a few giggles, as my eyes were glued to him like honey.
Erwin already started to dig through the contents of the basket, curious to what exactly was in it the woven basket.
He's so cute!
More energy and excitement rush into my veins, watching Erwin so cutely search the basket as though he was a detective using a magnifying glass to examine everything closely.
"Oh?" he asked with a miscivhious grin, as his eyes fell on mine. "Was there something special going to happen to me tonight?"he asked with a more cocky grin, purposely trying to get me heated.
Oh, Erwin....
From his sudden comment caused pinkness to shine through my cheeks from his seductive comment, but overall I was overjoyed knowing he was such in a playful mood like a small puppy....
"Maybe!" I reply with a bright smile. "But if you can't keep your tongue inside your mouth we might not have food for tonight!" I giggled eyeballing the basket indicating it's content.
Erwin grinned amused by my answer as he slowly removed his hand from the basket obeying my command since he wanted this night to proceed further....
"Good," I assured still gleaming a warm smile nodding my head. "Now, if you follow me birthday boy I will escort you to your designated spot!"
Filled with excitement and releasing so many giggles, I snatch the basket from Erwin's grip have just an ounce of uncertainty that Erwin would snack on the goodies the whole ride there.....
With the basket in one hand, I also managed to grab the blankets knowing the October weather can get a bit chilly, especially in the evening.
Knowing him and his appetite he would keep eating and eating and forget to save me some.
Suddenly I felt my entire body being lifted from the ground, meaning all my weight was being carried in someone else's arms.
What?
From the sudden transition caused me to blush a light pink unsure what just happened to me, as I worriedly look around to figure out what had just happened.
Erwin had gripped me in both of his arms, carrying me bridal style, as he wore the most genuine smile.
"Did I mention how beautiful you look?" he stated calmly giving me a gentle kiss on the cheek.
More color starts to rise in my face and I might as well be competing with a tomato, just hearing his compliment about my beauty and his sudden handsome gesture.
That's so sweet of him...but why's he treating me so nice? It's his special day after all? Should I have done something broader for him?
"Thank you Erwin, but...shouldn't I be treating you like this?" I blush even harder embarrassed thinking I should have done more for him.
"No." he calmly replied with his blue eyes calming as a river and shimmering as one as well. "Holding you in my arms is everything...."
My heartbeat races like a hummingbird from his words and more emotions start to bloom like a sunflower in the spring.
Oh, Erwin.....your so wonderful.
I can't imagine myself living a life without you ...even though I won't get the fairy tale ending of living happily ever after with him, I'm getting the chance to live with him.
And any chance I get to spend with him.....
I'll take it.
I just smile blissfully gazing at Erwin how he shinned like the stars above from his physical appearance. Long face, with a large nose and having two thick bushy eyebrows to go with it.
"Also I couldn't help but notice that you packed one of your own blouses?" he questioned with an interesting look, coming to the door.
He probably needs help with that. I do feel awfully silly having him carrying me around...
I was just about to remove myself from his grip and kindly open the door for him, but once more he beat me to it.
"I got it." he calmly replied, refusing to let go of me.
Erwin managed to hold my entire body and shift all his weight onto one foot and with his other leg raised in the air, and pushed down on the door's handle to automatically open the door.
"Well you see Erwin...other people thought about you on your birthday..." I blushed a light pink knowing exactly what was in the shirt, and unsure how exactly Erwin will react to the book...
I'm so worried, how he'll take it...I shouldn't have accepted the book. I'm so afraid he'll break down and once again I'll ruin everything from my actions.
My eyes couldn't help but shift to his handsome face and his stunning blue eyes just taking me away from reality into a fantasy gazing at his face....
"Other people care about you...." I breathed lowly with mellow eyes, trying not to allow sadness to take control of me.
Erwin just smiled like a puppy receiving kisses from his mother, feeling most high with himself and he didn't fully understand what was behind my door....and besides I didn't want him.
I have to stay strong...maybe it won't be so bad...
Just get it together Aurora.
For Erwin on his special day....
Erwin entered out the door, walking in the dreamy creamy moonlight, only making his image more handsome underneath the midnight sky.
I try and calm myself by taking a few breaths hoping this would release all my anxiety and calm my nerves....it did help slightly, though my fear was pricking my finger like a thorn.
"Where exactly are we heading?" he asked with a humble smile, looking around happily just enjoying the night with his lover in his arms.
I was finding myself a little more balanced from those few breaths, but truly it's not that easy getting rid of anxiety with a few deep breaths.
The fear still boiled in my blood like hot water for tea.
"I....was...thinking...we....could....go...for....a..ride.....and then....have...dinner....in the.....fields..." I weakly respond trying so hard to not choke from all the fear scorching in my head..
Oh goodness.....this is much harder than I anticipated for.
"Alright," he responded with a more stern voice, causing his high spirit to be lowered like a kite noticing my sudden behavior.
Erwin still held me strongly in his arms as though I was a princess and he was my prince, as we both were awfully quiet thinking about very two different things.
The only noise that was exchanged was the sound of Erwin's feet crunching the grass as a few pleasant hoots and screeches were echoed in the distance.
My heart started to beat abnormally with constant pounding and thumping because fear was the root of all my problems making me worry so much. Especially when it comes to Erwin's mental health.
I wasn't a good actress to hide my feelings because my intentions were only about Erwin. I just care for him so much, it would break my heart to see him get hurt.....
Ooh, this isn't good.
I need to focus and calm down for heaven's sake.
"Aurora."calmly asked Erwin with gentle eyes. "What's the matter?"
We'd reached the stables, but Erwin still kept me in his arms wanting to show me his concern and affection.
I have to tell him...
This secret is eating me up so much. I hope he won't be mad.
If I tell him my true intentions he might understand....because that's the kind of man he is.
Understanding.
"Erwin..." I blushed heavily as red as lipstick. "I'm so worried about you..." I bluntly admitted feeling a little tongue-tied on how to properly express myself correctly since I worried so much about him.
Erwin still kept a peaceful look, wanting to hear everything I had to say before reacting properly.
Though I enjoyed being in his arms like a Princess, I had to focus properly and explain myself correctly. I wiggle out from Erwin's grip, as my feet touched the surface again, still gripping our items.
Erwin doesn't care for surprises anyway...so hopefully it's okay...
"I visited Mr.Eagle's book store a couple of days ago, and he gave me something that I'm so scared to give you because it's from your Mother, and I don't know how you will take it." I admitted with a shaky voice overwhelmed from the fear causing tears to drizzle down my cheeks, since I felt nothing but wordiness for this man. Worried about his emotions.
Erwin's eyes widen like the moon since most news doesn't startle him, but this one clearly did since I was acting as sweetly as a kitten....
I dig through the basket and grab the book which was wrapped in my blouse.
"This is what he gave me, to give to you."
I held the blouse with one hand as more tears start to stream down my cheeks causing my green eyes to fill with redness as well, so concerned about one beautiful man.
Erwin right away grabbed what was from my hand and without further instructions, he unfolded the blouses to reveal a children's book.
His eyes feel completely tender like a piece of human flesh....as his eyes examined what was inside the book.
My lungs started to shrivel up like a grape left out in the sun, noticing this book has already done damage to him just from looking at his eyes.
I was in pain watching him see an item that was so long forgotten and was just now given to him.
I knew I shouldn't have done this.
More emotions start to rise in me as it was being released through painful tears...
"I'm so sorry Erwin..." I cried weakly like a sparrow having its wings snapped." I didn't want you to get hurt from seeing this book...I couldn't keep it to myself anymore." I sobbed having tears stream down my cheeks filled with agony....
Erwin had brushed his fingers against his Mother's words written within the pages, it was like as though it was comfort towards his injured wounds.
Oh, Erwin.....I'm so sorry.....
A few horses in the stables noticed the tension and released some loud
NEIGHS to try and be in of the situation.
Still tears drizzled down my cheeks, redness filling my eyes making my appearance even more innocent and alluring which only made Erwin's heart soften even more from my pain.....
Erwin grabbed the basket and blankets from my grip, bending down to placed everything on the ground as he came closer to me.
"Aurora." he calmly stated placing both hands on my jaw which cupped my cheeks." When is this going to get through that beautiful head of yours." he started with a calming smile."You are my oxygen. Your everything vital for me to live."
More and more tears just kept pouring from my eyes like a rainy day because all that fear and anxiety worrying about this handsome man.
"Yes this book is meaningful and has sentimental value, but it's not going to crush me," he said calmly as he gently pressed his forehead against mine. "Now if something were to happen to you, I would be devastated, my love." he breathed nearly as though he had been choked....
The moment he finished his sentence, I could have sworn I felt a single tear splash onto my cheek...but my cheeks were covered with my water, how would I know it was his???
Though I was filled with wordiness and pain stabbing my head, after hearing Erwin's beautiful words escape his mouth all my fear started to vanish like a ghost after Halloween night.....
Hearing him talk so passionately about me gave me the great comfort and peace I ever needed, also giving me a broader perspective about our relationship.
Erwin is right. Past is past...the things that matter most are right now.
I begin to pick up the pieces by gently sliding my hands upward and placed them on his neck.
"Erwin.." I breathed lowly still releasing such painful cries overwhelmed from everything. "I will never stop worrying about you until at the end of every day you come home to me with a heartbeat." I sobbed now destroyed from the thought of loosing him.
Erwin you are my everything.....
I would feel nothing if I didn't have you.
Erwin and I held this position for a while, both taking in great comfort of having our hands rested on each other skin and our foreheads rubbed together...
Once I felt stable and more so my emotions where balance feeling assured with myself, I gently remove myself from him but made sure to keep a close distance.
"So Eyebrows!" I giggled sliding my hands down his shoulders all along his arms to grab his hands. "You ready?" my hands reach his, acting as though nothing happened because with him he makes everything so worth wild.
Erwin smiled pleasantly noticing I was acting like my optimistic self, feeling secured with himself to proceed with the evening.
"Of course. That food isn't gonna eat itself!"he playfully responded with a stunning smile.
When we were both ready, we grabbed the food and blankets and made our way to the horses.
Erwin and I were side by side standing inches away from picking a stallion to ride.
"What are the riding arrangement? Did you perhaps wanna ride together?" he suggested having a little color redness occupy his cheeks.....
Awhhh that sounds romantic....but, I couldn't contain my emotions if the two of us where riding together as one.
Our bodies so tightly pressed up against one another, would give me so many heated emotions...
I felt a little flustered from his sudden comment causing me to shine some redness as well, but I managed to turn it into something playful and spontaneous.
I turn to face him, with a jolly smile exposing my white teeth.
"I was thinking we should race there!" I giggle happily releasing a warm smile as I skip merrily to pick a mocha furred stallion.
Erwin expressed a puzzled look, but he still was smiling.
"Race where exactly?"
I open the fence and grab the horse's reins, as I lead her out of her kennel still gleaming with radiance.
"Nowhere." I giggle sweetly as caramel, filled with excitement and happiness.
Erwin and I both expressed a smile at one another before the two of us mounted our horses to begin our journey into the unknown.
It was nice feeling the cold wind blowing against my skin and the wind was strong enough it was causing my blonde locks to fly like the birds soaring through the sky....
We rode on our horses for about a good half hour, since we both were tired of the ground. Riding a horse was the closest feeling to being free and to fly....
No screams of terror or cries were made, just animals communicating with one another through different voices.
I wanted Erwin to be the one to pick where to eat and shortly he did, on the open field of grass with a few trees surrounding us.
Erwin went ahead and tied both of our horses to a nearby oak tree, as I prepared the dinner table.
I gracefully had laid out one of the blankets smoothing out all its edges neatly so no crinkles where exposed.
I then begin to lay out everything I brought in the basket onto the ground. Once all the food was placed on the ground I then attended to the wine bottle.
Erwin had finished tieing up the horses and proceeded to join me on the floor.
I had successfully placed the wine latch that secures the bottle from wiggling as I started to screw in the spring-like shape into the cork.
I being by twisting the spring clockwise with all my strength until the tip grasps the bottom of the cork.
Once the spring was locked, I started to pull with all my might and power against the screw, even adding more effective power I had to put the glass bottle in between my legs for stability and more support.
This tough cookie won't come out!
Erwin was watching me with attraction his eyes softening like watching a kitten, secretly wanting and waiting for his help to be called.
"You got it?' he asked calmly scooting closer to me nearly inches away from my body.
I smile charmed by his handsome gesture, but I was determined to do this by myself since I wanted to spoil Erwin by allowing him to fully relax......but that's never the case with me.
"Of co-."
The cork was suddenly released nearly knocking Erwin in the chest which caused the bottle to tremble and rupture from the outbreak which was tipping forward out from in between my legs....
Erwin with cat-like reflexes grabs the tip of the bottle with his hand, stabilizing it from pouring out any liquid.
Oh!
Seeing his hand grab the tip of the bottle resting in between my legs, caused color to swell in my cheeks not from the position but a little flustered he once more stepped in to save me.
"Thanks!' I breathed with a warm gentle, still my cheeks glowing a light pink.
Erwin grabbed the bottle from my legs and brought the drink closer to him.
"Any time." he smiled, whiffing the scent of the bottle and then tilting his head back to take a sip.
It didn't take us long to devour everything we brought, and to no surprise there was no leftovers.....
I ate like a piglet as Erwin at like a meaty titan.
A whole loaf of bread I brought was gone. The vine of grapes, the circle of cheese, and even Mike and Nanaba's present of the sausage were completely terminated.
All that was left was half of the bottle of pinot grigio, two apples for our beloved friends, and a children's book.
With our bellies stuffed with so many carbs, protein, and starch what better thing to do is lie down on a soft blanket which rested underneath the midnight sky....
Erwin and I both lied on our backs a few feet away from each other, covered with a cozy blanket as the two of us had our eyes locked up above.
"Shouldn't we start heading back to Headquarters?" I asked my eyes sparkling from looking up at the infinite amount of shining stars.
Erwin smiled happily, having a full belly of food and had no obligations to attend to.
"They wouldn't miss us for the remaining ten hours..." he breathed as cold air escapes his lips. "Besides I wouldn't miss this for the world..."
The wind starts to gradually build up its speed and started to blew longer and harder.
Feeling the cold breeze whisk against my skin caused chills to run up my spine along with my my bones starting to tremble from the wind.
I should have brought more blankets....I didn't think it would be this cold but what did I expect it's October and the nights are the coldest of the day....
Even my teeth started to shiver like a skeleton grinding its bare bones from the lack of human body.
I'm so cold....maybe Erwin is too?
I rolled over to my other side to face Erwin with rosy cheeks hoping he was in the same boat.
"Erwin..." I breathed, as cold air rushes from my mouth..."I'm cold.." I whined with my lips parted open....
Erwin lifts himself up using his abdomen as his blue eyes fell on my green ones.
Erwin examined my appearance for a moment just thinking to himself, along with admiring my beauty.
"Lucky for you I am as well." he pleasantly responded with a loving smile, patting the open space next to him indicating for me to sit.
My heart skips a beat from his sudden answer, stunned since I was expecting him to be so loving and gentle....since all my life he's been very tense and stone with me.
"Come here," he whispered quietly like the wind as he smiled like the sun.
Erwin's changing so much.....in a good way.
I reflect on his tender smile, and with no further instructions I scoot closer to him.
I would really love to lay all my love on him, smothering him to death with kisses...but I don't think it would be appropriate, I'm not sure how comfortable Erwin is with physical touching.
I would rather be safe than rush into something that could harm our relationship...
Once I was centimeters away from him, I re-range the blanket straightening it out, and then I laid flat on my back as our sides rubbed up against one another.
We both were shoulder to shoulder laying completely flat on our backs looking straight up at the sky, with millions of stars illuminating our image.
It was a dark windy night, with crystals know as stars twinkling giving us the hope that one day will be able to see the world without a wall, shielding how far we'll go.
"Beautiful isn't it?" I asked amazed by the twinkling little dots...
Erwin too smiled pleased, completely at peace with himself.
"Indeed.." he responded promptly too fascinated by the image of the sky.
We both laid under the stars in total silence, enjoying the stunning image above, and listened for the wild animal's screech and communicate with each other.
Though we didn't have much to say and exchange much conversation it was nice being able to spend time with him and just enjoy the view.
After a few minutes, Erwin turned his head to face me, as his eyes fell on mine.
"Remember, that day when we went exploring and found that instrument that enlarges the image of the star?" he asked with a warm smile.
Awe, he remembers .
I shifted my eyes to look upon his blue ones, but I didn't want to transition my head because knowing my luck I would bang him upside the head.
"Yes, that day where we almost died." I released a giggle, finding it amusing looking back but it was indeed awfully scary.
It was scary, but thankfully Erwin was there.
Erwin too released a light chuckle, amused by my laugher and how lightly I was taking it.
"Yes." he responded his laughter dying down."I wish I would have brought the contraption for tonight..." he said with gentle eyes, still refusing to look back up only gazing at my beauty.
Oh, Erwin.....
I smile enchanted by his words finding myself attracted to his voice as I turn my head to face his direction.
Our noses did in fact brush up against each other, and our eyes were the only image I could see.
His blue eyes directly looking into my green ones and vice versa.
I could really examine his eyes and see all the veins lightly staining the eyeball itself and his pupil larger than most times....
He's so handsome.
"Next time...." I said with a bright smile showing my teeth. "I promise."
Erwin blinked indicating he understood as he turned his head to look up at the night sky.
I still kept a smile and lowered my eyes to his neck, as my head ran wild.
It's a shame we had to hide those treasures we found....but I understood where he was coming from. People would ask questions and our lives could be in jeopardy.
Again Erwin and I, were gazing up at the sky, both extremely quiet towards each other.
It was about ten minutes before Erwin thought of something.
"I can't sleep, Aurora." he said once more turning his head to gaze upon me.
Me too....I've never slept with Erwin before.....it's different and new.
I too turn my head over to him and gave him a warm look.
"Me too." I smiled happily. "Do you have any ideas?"
Erwin grinned waiting for me to say that, and lifted himself up, to be seated in a sitting position.
He reaches towards the woven basket and grabs my blouse which covered Erwin's book.
He gently removed the blouse from the book and placed it neatly back in the basket.
"How about a story?" he asked with a humble heart.
Instantly more passion and thoughts rises to my veins, finding this completely adorable. A full-grown man wanting to read a children's fairy tale.
Aweee...Erwin.
I too lift myself up, gazing at Erwin with mellow eyes from his humble actions.
"That sounds perfect!" I smile revealing my teeth, and nodding my head approvingly.
Erwin too smiled and returned back to his positions as he patiently waited for me to join him.
I gently lay back down next to him, as our shoulders rubbed each other again.
Erwin opened the book as he rested the bottom on his abdomen and with his fingers held the top so he could have it wide open.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon a time, there lived a young handsome prince who lived in a beautiful castle on top of a hill.
This prince had everything he desired in life, a home to shelter his head, food at the wave of his hand, and most importantly friends who adored and loved him.
Even though this prince seemed to have everything in life he had a great misfortune.
Since this young prince was so blessed with so many beautiful gifts he had a shellfish mind and a cold heart.
One day this prince decides to go on a hunt with his friends to see who could kill the most deer.
The prince was very talented with his gun, that the hunt itself was no trouble at all.
The prince had triumphally killed a doe and naturally went to gain his prize, but little did the man know that watching him was a beautiful enchanted maiden who had magical powers and owned the forest.
The maiden knew that for humans to live they must kill the animals she raised in the forest, but she only allows hunters who are pure in hearts and take no pleasure in taking a life...
Many of the hunters come to feed their families or need the meat to make money, but not this man.
The prince comes proudly walking to claim his prize, but instead of taking the whole creature he slices the head off the dead doe and left the body untouched.
The enchantress saw the man only took the head of the animal, and left the body to rot.
She disguised herself as an old hag shielding her beauty, wanting to question this man's actions.
"Why have you taken only the head of the doe? Don't you need the body to feed your family?" she questions so beautifully like a rose.
The prince snickered not knowing he was in the presence of an enchantress, for he was prideful of his winnings.
"I do not need that filthy creature's body!" he roared like a bear. "The head provides me with everything I need!"
The enchantress listened well to him.
"I warn you, sir. Your pride will be your death."
The prince laughed at her warning.
"Hasn't done much harm right now has it?" he laughed rudely.
The enchantress looked at him with gentle eyes.
"You don't believe me..then why not test your theory."
The prince raised a brow surprised and unsure whether to agree.
"What's in it for me?"
"If you complete my challenge, I'll reveal to you my true beauty and I'll grant you one wish." she offered. "But if you lose, I'll cut off your head and leave your body to the worms..just like you did to my animal..'
The prince knew he could easily win this little challenge of hers without losing his head.
"How do I know you are not lying to me about your beauty?' he asked.
The enchantress rolled up her ragged cloth from her wrist to her elbow to reveal, beautiful young white looking skin with her fingernails painted a pure white.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I started to doze off listening to his calm voice read to me. I was in a comfortable position and my body was so nice and warm like a toaster....
My head collapsed on top of Erwin's shoulder as I was completely passed out.
Erwin noticed I had fallen asleep, as he smiled delighted closing the book.
"Tomorrow we will finish reading the book, my love." he leaned closer to me bestowing a gentle kiss on my head.
Erwin didn't want me to leave this position, placing the book on the other side of him, and got himself a little more comfortable.
He gently removes his arms that my head was rested and slid his arm to wrap around my back bringing my face to lay on his chest.
Erwin laid flat on his back wearing a bright smile, he was holding the woman he loves so deeply as she slept in his grip like a baby
"Goodnight Aurora." his hand brushes my back for the first time he could take his time and feel the scars he left, from that faithful day where he whipped me.