life updates for anyone who cares

phone call with rishta #2

so obviously he asked me what my istikhara said and i just told him str8 up that it wasnt a yes or a no and it was just confusing. he agreed and said he felt the same way which is why the call should clear things up.

in the first 20 minutes of the call, we talked serious stuff. so i asked him what he was looking for in his wife and he said he needs a submissive and feminine wife. basically someone who understands their role in the house. she needs to look good, wear make-up for him, dress up for him and etc. he stressed on these points quite a lot. obviously that he would want her to go gym and take care of herself.

then he asked me what i was looking for in my husband, and i said that he should have a provider mindset and everything that comes with it, he should go to the gym and take care of himself, he should be ambitious and always willing to learn (he agreed to this bc he said that he was someone who wasn't always satisfied with where he was - which is good and bad) but ye that shows ambition and not complacency and i acknowledged that.

and then the next 20 minutes were just ~flirting~ but i enjoyed it not just bc of how it made me feel but bc it showed me our chemistry.

so he started the flirting by asking me simple questions like: "how do you like to see your ideal man dressed up as? like are there certain colours or styles that you'd like to see him in?" and i said that i dont really mind how he dresses but i just dont like it when boys just dress with whatever is trending. and then he says "ahh, so you just like it if hes wearing it with confidence. i can see theres a bit of your psychology degree coming thru" and i laughed and agreed.

then he started talking about how he wants his wife to put on makeup only for him, perfume only for him etc and i just agreed bc like obviously lol

then sometime later he said that if i go gym i have to go to a female one, i told him "as long as you're paying" hes like "oh idm paying" and im like "they cost $26 a week" and then he was all shocked like "$26!!! why is it so expensive?? its okay you can work out at home. you only need a squat rack anyway"

so hes an ass man im guessing. i was surprised he was flirting so openly but turned on ngl.

then he asked me once again what im about, what i like to do in my spare time and i said... nm i mean like i read?? psychology books? he started laughing and said "wow youre a proper nerd aren't you?" ,... but it was the truth and idc if he  finds that boring. and then he asks, what type of psychology books? and after some thinking, i spotted the 48 laws of power on my side table and said "robert greene" and he interrupted me and said "wait, say that again?" and then i said "yeah, robert  greene" he starts laughing and then says " you know how i said i hate it when girls get into this weird stuff, this is what i mean. girls read 48 laws of power and think they can take over the world" i started laughing. then he asked me if i had read mastery i replied no and that i had just bought all his books but not read all of them. he said " ye ive read mastery bc obviously i want to succeed" i was like "ye  ive read a little bit of it too"

i mostly laughed tbh bc i was so shy and flattered that he was so genuinely curious about me as a person. it wasnt just about s*x for him. he was serious and not just about marriage, but about ME personally. and that is so flattering to me that honestly speaking i became scared and laughed the entire time so that i didnt have to answer the questions. like asking me questions about how my ideal husband should dress, who my ideal husband should be are super considerate questions.

its been three days since we talked.. so its taking a while to come back to me. ill definitely edit this the more i remember in shaa Allah.

he told me that he wanted a submissive wife and that would mean my youtube career may not happen (idk if i really care about this atm tbh) and then somewhere during the conversation i mentioned that i still wanted to become a psychologist, and that he shouldnt have a problem with that. he agreed and said he didnt mind as long as i knew my priorities (family). then he asked me what type of psychologist so i told him a forensic psychologist and then hes like "ohh so are you going to be with criminals and stuff?" and i told him "yeah, it mostly depends on where i work. so if i work at a prison, it would be criminals. if its the justice system, probably more kids etc".

then he asked me "can you cook?" and i said, "yeah, i can cook but i dont cook regularly" and then hes like "are you the eldest?" and im like "ye", hes like "ye im the youngest but i can cook a little bit too," then i interrupted him and said "ye i think your mum told me you like doing barbeques" and hes like "whys my mum telling you this, what else did she tell you" i just laughed and said "its good, whenever we have a dawat you can do the bbq and ill just chill" we both laugh a little bit and then he says "its cute how you think that"

my heart meLTED.

somewhere during the end of the conversation, i mentioned to him that i heard he had gotten his license suspended three times and hes like "ugh why is my mum telling you all this stuff" and im like "it wasnt your mum, it was my brother" and then hes like "oh your brother is a snitch (jokingly)" i asked him "so why did you get suspended three times?" and then before he answered, he took a deep breath and said "well my answer depends on your answer to my question: do you like bad boys?" he said this soOOOO s*xily omds, and i just laughed and said "just answer the question, you cant just ask me one" and he responded "yeah, just speeding, you know how it is" and then i took my chance and said "ohh so you'll be speeding when we're arguing in the car to scare me?" hes like "yeah ofc, be careful not to annoy me" and then i said "what are you like running a monarchy or smth... sorry not monarchy, a dictatorship" and he laughed a bit offended i think, and said "haha yeah i think thats what we'll call it, a dictatorship"

another thing that he mentioned that really told me how mature he truly is, is when he said as modestly as he could "i want to be ~romantic~ as wife and husband but i also want a best friend and lover" and he also said "you know we need to know if we can deal with each other after our desires are met, bc you know after the desires are gone, we need to see if we can still  be with each other" i think that really hit it in the nail for me. all my anxiety disappeared when he said that.

then he said he was looking for a smart girl and that i was very smart (honestly i feel like such a dumb b*tch sometimes, i just feel like either i have imposter's syndrome or everyone is lying to me) and he insinuated that his past talking stages either werent smart enough or were too "independent" (honestly, ew. why do smth a man will do for free?). he said he needed intellectual stimulation so someone who can solve his problems and he'd do the same for her. i admired this.

he emphasised that i was very intelligent and strong. he said "i need someone who is a strong woman but not someone who is strong in a masculine way, which i can see is not who you are"

sometime during the convo i asked him how often he goes martial arts, he said he goes gym almost everyday except obviously rest days. when i asked him about how often he goes martial arts, he answered smth like "idk, i go every now and then, who knows it might decrease even more once i tell them that theres this girl i wanna marry"  i just giggled like crazy. honestly he left me speechless. im not used to this.

did i tell you how i lOVE the way he says my name??? he says it so slowly and sweetly. stressing on each letter, so its clear. he doesnt just run thru it. he takes his time with my name. idk if he notices what hes doing. maybe bc he was in a flirty mood, he was purposely trying to be seductive? idk but i still found it hot and cute

i feel like hes trying to get into my head tho. hes defs smarter than me tbh.